All I Don't Want For Christmas...

If I'm on your holiday gift list this year, which obvi I sure I am, I thought it would be fun to put together a lil list.  Here are a few things that I DON'T want.  Not to be greedy or anything or ungrateful, but I find these hilariously insane - so I thought it might be a fun post!  Especially since I really can't think of things I want this year - which is driving my mother absolutely BANANAS!!

Pajama Jeans

I'm all for comfort - but these look appalling!  I'd rather just wear leggings to sweat pants!  I mean are yoga pants that offensive that it's come to this?!  

I find these things so gross.  Oh and don’t worry - now they make them for men!

Forever Lazy

This is taking the Snuggie to a whole new level.  This is absurd.  And the best part is the commercial has people tailgating and going about their everyday lives wearing this thing.  

Oh and thing that is the cherry on top - you don’t even have to take it off to go to the bathroom!  Score!!

The Slumber Mitt

Did anyone forget a lil thing called a pillow?!  This is just so…I don’t even know.  So this is a "mitten" of sorts that you put on your arm - and you can rest your head on it.   

I mean - is it not just a small pillow??  And doesn’t your arm get more tired/cramped being forced in that position and having more compression on it?? 

Sobakawa Cloud Pillow

Speaking of pillows - this looks like one of the most uncomfortable situations of life.  I mean - do you have to lay like this?!  

I feel like she looks so awkward!

Dancing Fountains from WET Fantasy Gift

This is from the Neiman Marcus "Christmas Book", which I always get a kick out of.  Now first off - this sounds like a dirty gift.  Like straight from the Pleasure Palace.  But if you read about it - this is what it is - basically these people will come in to your house and install a "dancing fountain" like ones you see in Vegas, etc.  

Ok - now who needs that at their house?!  I'm just curious.  And don’t worry - it's only a cool $1,000,000.

The Sedu Icon Prive Dryer

Now I'm all for good hair care - but this brings it to a WHOLE 'nother level.  This hairdryer is $700 - yes you read that correctly.  

Unless it cuts, styles and colors my hair - I'll stick with my $30 Conair - athankyouverymuch.  I'll admit - I love nice things and girlfriend loves me some luxury, but this is just a lil much!

I hope you enjoyed this lil list!  Have a very Happy Holiday!!  

And here's another little New Year's gem!  

I'll be back next year!!  Haha - that joke never gets old!!  XOXO

Holi-DON'T

It's that time of year again for all sorts of holiday gatherings and celebrations!  I had my company party last week and it was relatively tame - no major stories to come out of it!  Except for when I became a Southern Belle for a fraction of a second and then was awkward.  Recap:

My Boss (passing me in the hall):  Hey Lizzie, are you going to the holiday party tonight?
Me (turning around):  I sure am!  (in the Southernest of Southern voices - aka I was from Savannah holding a parasol).
Then I turned on my heels, he looked quizzically at me and I awkwardly slow jogged back to my office.  Off to a good start!!

So that aside, all these parties that I've been attending/that I'm going to have reminded me of how NOT to behave at functions.  Obviously everyone should let their hair down a bit and have a good time, but there are a few things that you shouldn't do - let me tell you a lil story about a MAJOR don't at the company party…

At my last job we had this amazing holiday party every year - I mean it was like black tie-esque, at a hotel ballroom, dinner & a live band.  Sooo much fun!  We all went to someone's house before and pre-gamed…aka it was a show.  Let me also remind you that this was back in the day that Ruby and I worked together - so things got a lil cray to the cray.  We were each other's "dates" and were feeling pretty good before we even got to the party!  BUT we had nothing on what was about to ensue.  It was all going swimmingly, we were schmoozing with the "big guys" and having a lovely time.  The band was amazing - nbd but I may or may not have had a "tap dance off" with our top top guy. 

I mean I don’t wanna brag - but I broke my heel - I was that passionate about my dancing.  It was amazing. Anywho, it was dinner time and everyone was just relaxing, finishing up their meals, having pleasant conversations.  The music was slow.  When all of a sudden - IT happened.

Let me give you a lil back story - we had this receptionist - let's call her Mystic.  She was very "free spirited" and a lil off center.  Extremely nice, but just not "all there" if you will.  She had been with the company for a good amount of years, so everyone was pretty used to her antics.  But no one understood what exactly she was capable of. 

So back to the story…finishing dinner…everyone having a pleasant evening…cut to the empty dance floor and slow classical music being played (by a CD, not even the band).  All of a sudden Mystic takes the dance floor.  She begins what would be about 5 SOLID minutes of lyrical dancing.  

I'm talking full out LYRICAL dance.  All over the floor, flailing about, arms swaying, legs jumping.  Just when you think it was about to end…nope!  She runs and slides onto the floor on her knees, rolls on her back and does a few scissor kicks/fan kicks in the air.  Oh and did I mention she's in a dress?!  I mean - undies were flashed.  At one point one of my colleagues begins videoing and when I prompted him to stop, he replied "Are you kidding?!  This is going on You-Tube as 'what not to do a company party'".  Unreal.  Finally someone went out and told her maybe she should not be doing this.  

And if you were wondering - she didn't even care - she simply  informed everyone that she "never really had any training" - oh I'm sorry?!  Shocking - you NEVER had training?!  You were flailing about on an empty dance floor in front of 300 co-workers - and that's what you have to say for yourself?! Hilarious!

Soooo next time you get that itch to entertain 300 of your nearest and dearest on an empty dance floor … think of Mystic.  Please for the love of God  - think of Mystic!