Best Worst Break-Up Ever

So every year around Super Bowl Sunday, I’m reminded of my best worst break-up ever. It involves one of my stellar ex-boyfriends; we’ll call him, Todd. You’ll hear more about Todd in future posts – he’s really one for the books! Let’s just start at what would seemingly be the end and then we’ll discuss the “beginning” in a later post.

So Todd and I had been dating for over two years at this time, as I saw it, I was totally “in love” and he was “the one”. Oh how delusional I was, but I guess that is what your twenties are for! So at the time of this story, our relationship had taken quite a turn for the worse and I knew the end was most likely in site. It was the morning of Super Bowl Sunday and we were having one of our marathon fights. Oh and I should mention that at the time he was living in Florida and I was in Virginia, so we were long distance. I was actually going to visit him the next day in Florida – bags packed – ready to go! Basically after about an hour of fighting/discussing, he announced that he had to go because he, and I quote, had “a Super Bowl party to tend to”. To which I replied/yelled, “fine, I’m glad you’re little party is more important that our two year plus relationship!” And then I hung up. So basically I was in my apartment crying to myself still in my pj’s until about 4pm.

Two of my good guy friends came over to my apartment to find me in my state of self-pity and insisted that I come to a party with them. That was honestly the last thing that I wanted to do, I hadn’t eaten/showered/gotten dressed all day – I was a disaster. But they told me that I had no choice and I could either go like that or get dressed, but I’d be going! So I quickly changed and went to this party. I knew no one, except the 2 guys I was with. I took one sip of beer while I was in the kitchen, trying to make new friends, and BLANK! The next thing I remember is my friend standing over me, slapping my face, yelling “Lizzie! Lizzie!” I was lying on the floor – I had completely passed out. Ummm – just slightly embarrassing! I think I was just so stressed out, hadn’t eaten (I have a bit of a blood sugar issue) and that one sip – put me right over the edge! So my friends took me home, called my mom and stayed with me until I fell asleep. Totally nice. I felt awful and weak and embarrassed and just wanted the night to be over!

I had been asleep for a few hours when my phone rang. It was Todd and he seemed to be a little drunk. I picked up the phone and thus began the beginning of the end. I told him what had happened to me that night and his reply was, “Why didn’t you call me”, which I had tried to do, but his Super Bowl party was apparently in full swing! Then he continued with, I kid you not, “I can’t be with someone that doesn’t call me when they faint”. Oh, I’m sorry, what?! That doesn’t even make sense! Like I’m sorry I didn’t call you as I was heading towards the floor and express my love to you! So I kinda laughed, thinking he was kidding, and then I realized he was dead serious. After a few, “what are you talking about”s, he said, “I don’t love you anymore”. It was as if someone just punched me in the stomach. I lost my breath and I began to cry. That is probably one of the worst things you could say to someone that you love/loved. He went on to say that he hadn’t for a while and preceded to say some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me. After letting it sync in bit and being curled up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, I finally hiccupped out, “do you have anything else to say to me”. Silence. “Anything else”. Nothing. After a few minutes of me yelling into the phone, I realized that he had passed out. Yup, he passed out in the middle of our break-up. So there I was, it was the middle of the night, I couldn’t call anyone, knees to my chest rocking back and forth in my bed. I was a disaster. This was my first real break-up, first real broken heart and I couldn’t be consoled. I was up the remainder of the night just trying to make sense of it all. I just laid there staring intermittently at my ceiling and my bags that were fully packed awaiting our trip to Florida in just a few more hours. Finally I figured it made sense to just get up and go to work.

So I got up, put on God knows what kind of clothes, and went to work. I walked in the door and my boss/friend took one look at me and said, “Rough Super Bowl night”. I looked like hell. I looked at her and just burst into tears. She quickly ushered me into her office and tried to calm me down. I began to tell her what happened through many tears and gasping. At one point, she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sweetie, it sounded like you said he fell asleep, but I couldn’t hear you.” I just pitifully shook my head “yes”. That just put her over the edge, not that she needed much reason – she totally hated him already - and she started yelling. “Screw him. I hate him. You are never speaking to him again. You don’t deserve that.” And the rant continued. She finally stopped mid-sentence and exclaimed, “Wait – aren’t you supposed to be heading to the airport this afternoon?!” I just nodded “yes”. She was like, “absolutely not. We are cancelling your flight!” So she helped me figure that all out and made sure that everyone left me alone for the rest of the day. I just sat at my desk and tried to look like I was doing at least some work, but all I could do was stare blankly at my computer.

Finally the workday was over and I was heading out to go home. My phone rang and it was Todd. I picked up to him yelling, “Where the hell are you, I’m at the airport and your flight got in an hour ago!” I was like, “umm I’m in Virginia, and I didn’t get on the plane”. He yelled/cursed some more and asked why I didn’t get on the plane. I then filled him in and told him that he broke-up with me the night before and that he broke my heart in a million pieces. And folks what happened next definitely surprised me a lil bit – he didn’t REMEMBER! He completely blacked out and didn’t remember any of our conversation. He had NO CLUE that we broke-up!

So there you have it – that is by far – my best worst break-up story ever! Again, Todd will make future appearances, so you’ll get to enjoy more of one of the biggest jackasses that I ever dated! And this past Super Bowl marks the 5th Year Anniversary of one of the best things (in retrospect) that has ever happened to me!

Super Bowl XLV (Because We Can’t Just Say “Super Bowl 45”)

I do enjoy watching football and all, but I’d like to take some time to recap the most important parts of the big game. Besides being able to eat fun food - the singing, the commercials & halftime are really the most essential aspects of the game!

The Singing:
Oh Christina! I always have your back, girl, but tonight – what the heck happened!? I liked the sound of her voice – but maybe a few more lyric rehearsals were in order! She forgot half the song! Sad spice! However – Lea Michelle – you continue to impress! Beautiful voice and you did America proud – and you know how I feel about the good ‘ol U S of A! It’s just too bad she didn’t sing the Anthem – maybe next year!

The Commercials:

Among My Favorites:
• Brisk – the Eminem cartoon – amazing. I also have a weird obsession with Eminem and it brings back fond memories of college and going to see 8 Mile with my girlfriends. After the movie we left with our hoods up and played rap music on our drive back to campus with the windows down. A total badass group we were!
• Bridgestone – reply-all commercial – because we’ve all been there. Remind me to share my best “reply-all” story with you!
• Volkswagen – Darth Vader kid – it just made me laugh – I loved how he was just marching around in that costume - classic!
• E-Trade – that talking baby – never fails!
• Best Buy – Ozzy & Bieber – HILAR! I totally hearted that for some unknown reason!
• Chrysler – Detroit - one word “Eminem” – please refer to my love for him in the first bullet.

Worst/Wish I Could Get Back A Few Minutes Of My Life:
• Doritos – with the 2 guys and one wanted the others Doritos and so he licked his fingers and took his pants off– it made me uncomfortable.
• GoDaddy.com – the one when Joan Rivers is revealed to be the next “girl” – I just thought it was really weird!
• Android - broken robot thing – I hated everything about that! The creepy guys in the corner of the room, the “wrapping up” of its robot arm – I just really didn’t care for that one!
• Ford – New York City commercial. Not sure this was nation-wide or just local – but it was with the song “Empire State” in the background and trying to sell Ford cars while flashing “New York” across the screen – newsflash – NO ONE in NYC owns a car – and those that are rich enough to own a car – probably aren’t driving Fords. Pretty sure that was a waste of some serious cash!
• Sketchers – Kim K – I didn’t hate this by any means – I just feel like there was so my hype around it and it really wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just very indifferent to the whole thing. Just not one of my favs.

Halftime:
I felt like I was on a rollercoaster – I loved and then hated, up and down through the whole thing. Loved their entrance! One of my fave songs – maybe it will be a “good night”! However, they didn’t sound the greatest – Fergie’s mic was not working properly at first and she just didn’t sound that good. They sounded like they were just shouting, instead of signing. The glow people – still not sure how I feel about them, but owning one of those suites might be in order! And then came Slash – up from the floor – pretty much amazing! But then Fergie started signing – epic fail. He sounded great – her not so much. And then the group just continued to sing/shout. I don’t know if they couldn’t hear the music or what was going on – but it was just a big mess. Enter Usher – loved his flying in and all – but he sounded bad too – he was like whispering. Although – his dancing – never fails – he’s just so smooth! So then they were trying to spread the “love”. It was ok – but again with the shouting. And then the glow suits – were red glowing suits – unreal. Hated the hearts they formed. And then the “lampheads” took the stage! What is next?! Oh just your average “wave” of glow people. All in all – I give it a 5 out of 10. I just really wasn’t feeling it and I thought their vocals needed a lot of work! Effects were ok – but really not enough to carry the performance!


So that was my 2 cents. I would love to hear your take on the big game!! And by that I mean not your take on the actual game – I don’t really care about that! Ok – off to watch the best part – the Glee episode after the game!!