This Is Happening - Take One

Is it weird that I have "Spice Up Your Life" in my head?!  No clue.  Also I had a strange encounter this morning - I was in the elevator and it was pretty full.  This woman in my building was in there, too.  She is older and known to be a lil cooky. Someone was trying to get on, so I looked behind me (it was the wall), there was NOTHING there so I stepped back and leaned against the wall.  Next thing I know this woman's arm is around my waist!  Like full on around my waist.  

WTF?!  What just happened - why is this happening.  She looks at me and smiles weirdly and says "OOPS".  Wait what?!  That was not an "oops", there was nothing accidental about it.  Then thankfully the doors opened and I could escape.  Why is this my life?!

Anywho - y'all the girls came rolling through this past weekend and let me tell you - bitches be crazy.  Things got slightly out of control.  I’m going to have to break this into 2 parts.  Buckle up - it was a bumpy ride!

I woke up Saturday morning at 11 am to find Ruby next to me, Kit on the couch (sans blankets), and Sydney basically sitting straight up in the big chair/ottoman situation I have.  I stand up - can hardly move - my body just hated me - turn the corner to find my front door open.  What happened?!  Cut to the night before…

After much pacing and waiting the girls finally arrived!!  Yay!  They freshened up quick and then we were off to dinner at Neely's (such a good place - food is delish)!!  Normally our first nights are pretty low key, we realize we only have one "big" night in us, now that we are old hags.  So while at dinner we decided to have a few drinks - I think you see where this is going. Then we figured - it's NYC - we have to go out for a little bit.  So we went to this neighborhood bar - Redemption and found a table in the back.  I should also note that the first table we had to move because we were by the speakers and it was "too loud". So we went to the back and got our little area.  We got our first Red Bulls and we were off to the races!  The DJ was playing really fun music, so obvi we had to bust out our stellar dance moves.  

Sydney had a "friend" that was going to meet up with us, so he arrived.  Kit and I found ourselves chatting up these 2 guys.  One was married and telling us about his little girls (they were from California - here on business) - it was nice/cute.  The other was just chatting away, buying us drinks.  He was kinda cute - so I figured - what the hell!  Then he asked me to dance….sooo to the dance floor!  About 10 minutes later he almost kissed me and I see Kit coming flying at me.  This was our exchange:

Kit:  He's married - he's freaking married!
Me:  What - no he's not - he tried to kiss me!
Kit:  He's married!!  His friend just told me!
Me:  What?!?  There's no ring!
Kit:  YUP - he put it in his pocket!!!
Me:  ANGER!

By the time we turned around - they were gone.  Like ran out of the bar.  So gross.  Why does this happen to me?!  I hate it - can't I just meet a normal guy?!  Why is this so hard???  Ok enough of me ranting…back to the story!

Kit, Ruby and I proceed to twirl around some more - fully taking advantage of the dance floor clearing out.  I somehow got a hold of some guys Yankees hat and took a liking to it - Sydney called me "gangsta" - I mean it's no big deal.  I was pretty bad ass.  Finally we thought it would be appropriate to go home.  Sydney felt she needed some "more time" with her "friend". Obviously I thought a huddle was the only way of dealing with this.  So we "huddled up" and "discussed".  Not sure what happened in there, but next thing me, Kit & Ruby were on our way home.  As we were leaving - we were approached by some guy who only said this:

Guy:  You girls want some coke?
Kit:  What?!
Me:  Is this happening?
Ruby:  You mean like soda?

As you can see we are not well versed in these situations.  Basically we all started running.  We made it to my apartment, after a brief chat with my doorman and immediately ordered pizza.  Oh did I mention that we got home at 4:30 AM - what the what?! The pizza was amazing - best ever - obviously.  We watched Family Ties and all fell into bed around 6 am.  At 7:30 am I hear a knocking at my door - wasn't quite sure what was happening.  I open it and Sydney comes flying through yelling "This is happening"!  

She then proceeds to dive onto the chair and we all went back to sleep.  Apparently sometime between then and 11 am - Ruby got up and opened the door - we think she got a little disoriented - stood by Sydney for a little bit and then got back into bed.  Hence the door being wide opened when we woke up! 

OMG what a night - an amazing start to the weekend.  We all woke up looked at each other for a few minutes and collectively said - who do we think we are and why did we think we could do that?!  SLASH - best night ever!  We then got dressed and strolled out for some breakfast.  Obviously I ran into my boss and his 2 year old son - totally normal.  I was in a full on sweat suit with my hair on top of my head, no make up and looking fresh to death.  Once again - why is this my life?! 

Tune in tomorrow for another installment of "THIS IS  HAPPENING"! 

Jessica! JESSICA!!

Sooo my morning started off awkward and the day has continued right down that path.   Are you surprised?!

I was walking to work this morning and right as I was leaving Dunkin Donuts for a lil morning iced tea, I saw this girl that I was convinced was this girl that I went to high school and college with.  So me being me start chasing after her yelling her name (let's call her Jessica).  The girl does not turn around, so I continue yelling and running, "JESSICA!  JESSICA!".  

Finally she turns around -  completely not the girl at all.  Just some stranger.  Thank God she was friendly because we both burst out laughing and I of course apologized for being a raving lunatic at 8 am.  She just laughed it off and said "well good to know I have a doppelganger running around this city". 

Which made me think…do we all have a doppelganger running around?!  I  mean I've never seen/met mine - that's probably for the best.  I can barely handle one of me - let alone 2.   Have any of you ever met yours??  Do you think we have them??  Who's with me?!  Am I just having "deep thoughts" alone on a Thursday afternoon?? 

So then I get to work and continue my day.  I'm wearing, for the first time, a Spanx slip under my dress.  Again, file this under, "good idea at the time".  While still in my apartment I was all "this is the best thing ever - I love it - never taking it off".  Now I'm about one fat roll away from hurling this thing across the room.  

It keeps rolling down/riding up.  At one point I was trying to shimmy it down and realized that I had somehow turned it inside out and upside down.  Not an easy fete - but I managed.  So the whole day I've just been pulling this thing all over the place and praying that no one actually sees me. 

I also had the biggest craving for Sour Patch Kids today - like so bad I had to leave work, go to Duane Reade and buy a pack. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Jersey Shore in the hizzous tonight!  Who's excited?!  I'm also just stoked that tomorrow is Friday!!!  What what!  Can't wait for the freakin' weekend!! 

Mishmash

Hola Amigos!  Hope everything is well out in this crazy world!  Just a few quick things I'd like to share. 

First things first…Ruby, Sydney & Kit are coming on Friday and I'm so excited for a "DC Reunion in NYC".  Like pee your pants, can't contain yourself, wanna jump around excited…hope I can sleep. 

Second - Amanda Knox.  Can we all have a collective sigh of relief.  I've been gripped to this case from the beginning and never believed that she did it.  I'm so glad she's on her way home and can try to go about her life.  I literally had tears watching that yesterday.  I'm just glad justice was served and I hope that they find the right person for Meredith's family. 

Third - I started this week using Almond Oil on my face.  I know what you're thinking - why would you put oil on your face.  

BUT surrriously guys - it's working.  I'm not using any moisturizers and I only do it at night.  Also you only use like a lil droplet.  Not a lot.  And last night I tried a little trick where after you apply it, wet your hands with warm water and then rub your face a bit to move all the oil around.  I highly recommend this - it was another one of my acupuncturist's suggestions!  And I'll also note that I by no means have "clear skin" all the time.  I have been more "acne" prone my life - I know you're all jealous - so that was another reason I was hesitant.  I'll do another update in a few weeks - but so far so good!

Fourth - I started another thing this week.  I'm now on a Gluten-Free diet y'all.  I started Monday - so I'm doing ok so far (I mean for these past 2 days).  Apparently there have been new studies linking migraines and gluten - so I'll try anything once if it may help  me in that department!  I have to try it for one month and then we'll go from there.  I feel like I'm gonna miss my bagels & beer - but I guess I can get by for a month!  If any of you out there are more "seasoned" Gluten-Free dieters - I welcome any and all tricks of the trade! 

Fifth - who saw RHONJ on Sunday?!  Can we discuss "On Display"?!  I mean the fact that she wanted real tigers - was anyone else dying?!  And that outfit - 2 words - ROCK STAR.  

I mean it was so over the top - but she committed to it.  Hilar.  And I still heart Kathy and Theresa - she's starting to get on my last nerve.

Sixth - Teen Mom Dr. Drew Special.  Ok - so a few things - and then I'll have to discuss more this week because the rest of them go on tonight. 

-Farrah - still can't stand.  I liked her for like a  hot second then she went right back to being - well just plain Farrah.  

All of a sudden she needs 2 weeks to set up her life in FL - and btw she just decided on that plan as she was sitting there.  WTF?!  Then the tears flowed when she realized she didn't have friends.  Well news flash honey - you're not that nice and I can't imagine you're a ball of fun to hang out with.  Maybe you need to "do you" before you try to find friends.  Just saying.      

-Amber - ugh I want to get behind you - I really do - but she really has a lot of shiz to clean up.  

And she's still back & forth with Geearry - I thought that was over like forever ago?!  Again - you really need to pull yourself together gurl and get your life back on track. 

Seventh - Jersey Shore.  What is going on over there?!?!?!  I mean Snooki is beyond out of control.  Deena can't stop falling and thought she was pregos.  

I did however almost die when the boys stacked all her furniture on her bed and she tried to get it down herself.  And just when I thought Situation couldn't get any creepier - he steps up to the plate and knocks it out of the park - creepster home run.  

Snooki - seriously - stop being crazy.  I know it's "you" and you should never change for anyone - believe I've learned from experience!  BUT there are certain things that you could tone down while in a relationship.  AKA pulling up your dress on stage while smashed at a club.  It's like the Twilight Zone over there - Snooki is all drama central and Sammi & Ronnie are trying to help (and are actually being calm).  And then she's so hysterical about losing Gioooooonnnnie that she has to find solace in none other than Vinny.  Obviously.

Eighth - I'm obsessed with a new OPI color - shockingly!  It's called:  "Uh Oh Roll Down The Window" and it's their NYC one in the Touring collection.  

Don’t totally love the name, but they describe it as rolling into NYC and needing to be out the car window to take it all in.  It's a great color - depending on what you have on it can be green-ish, brown-ish, taupe-ish, it can go a lot of different ways!  Very versatile.

Ninth - I'm super tired & haven't slept well in days.  I think its starting to take a toll.  AND my allergies are OOC!  I'm trying to rest up and be sure to be in tip top shape for the weekend. 

Tenth - that's it - dunzo.  Just wanted to end on a round number!!  XOXO  And as I was searching for some pics I came across this lil gem that was too good not to share. 

Annnnd you're welcome.

Mishmash

Hello Hello Party People!!  How's everyone doing?!  A few things that we'll go over today!!  First...I hope you all had fabulous weekends - I know I did!

My sister came into town on Saturday and we walked around Union Square - they have this adorable famer's market on Saturdays - all local stuff.  So it was fun to just walk around and see what they had to offer!  Later on we had dinner at The Smith - umm can we talk about how delish?!  I'm still thinking/dreaming about it!  It was so good.  Afterwards we met up with Giuliana and Carrie for drinks at Cibar - I love this place.  It's a great "in between" bar when you're not quite ready for a rowdy place.  Of course following this there was only one place to go - obviously The Canal Room to see the Rubix Cubes.  Once again (if you recall the last time) - they did NOT disappoint - it was off the charts.  I seriously can't handle them and every song you just wanna throw your hand up and fist pump like the true New Jerseyian that I am!  I love every second of this place - it's just that fun. 

Sunday my parents came in and we went to brunch at Bar Americain.  It's one of Bobby Flay's restaurants and again - did. Not. Disappoint.  I basically licked my plate clean.  Yes - I'm THAT girl.  We then went on to see Anything Goes - seriously if you haven't seen it - get your butts there!  

This play was phenom!   As a prior tap dancer - I know "what it takes" and these people are so beyond mega talented.  I basically crying with joy/excitement during one number.  And right now the grandmother from Gilmore Girls is in it and a few other famous people.  

The main character - Sutton Foster - OMG girlfriend is unbelievable!  

It's a must see - just fun show!

And last night was another fun night!  We went to the Mets game - things got cray cray.  Giuliana has these amahhhhzing season tix and she wanted to take me and Carrie - unfortunately, she got sick yesterday and wasn't up for going, so we decided to invite Hazel.  We get there after I basically sweat like 8 pounds off on the subway ride over and we were searching for our seats.  Finally find them - Oh, I'm sorry…what?!  We're basically behind home plate (7^th row) and slightly to the left.  We're then informed that we can get free hot dogs, chips, pretzels & popcorn in the "lounge".  You would have thought that the 3 of us had never eaten before in our lives.  We dove in there - each had about 3 rounds worth and hten were ready to watch the game.  A few beers here and there and things were getting entertaining!  Carrie was really adamant about wanting to "engage" the opposing team.  I will give her credit - she did get a lil wink & nod from Edgar Renteria - it was hilar.  

We also became friends with the staff - Samantha, Phil & Al.  One of Giuliana's family friends came down to say hi and insisted on getting us more food - it was completely opposite of what we needed.  All in all it was great night and we had so much fun - it just would have been even better if Giuliana hadn't gotten sick!

So here we are - guys full disclose I'm having heart palpitations about the fall TV schedule.  I'm already behind on Gossip Girl (missed last night) and I wanted to see that new Hart of Dixie - with Rachel Bilson.  Tonight 90210 & Glee are competing and New Girl oh and let's not forget Teen Mom Check-Up with Dr. Drew!  I missed Giuliana & Bill and RHOBH the other night. I have so much to catch up on and so little time to do it without getting completely behind!!  Seriously - anxiety attack happening right now. 

And I should mention that I'm in a complete womp womp mood - someone is having a birthday tomorrow and that girl is me!  I just don’t really like my birthday and kinda want it to be over.  I mean it's possibly fun for a hot second 

and then it's not at all and then I'm all...  

But I have a lil lunch date with my bestie and her little boy - so that will for sure make my day a lil bit better!  For now - I have a lot of TV to watch so I'll be signing off!  XOXO

Barre Bonanza

First things first - a quick update from my last post.  I decided to go balls out and text that guy - what do I have to lose?!  Just my pride, dignity, respect, self esteem, etc.  So I sent something very "breezy" Thursday night.  CRICKETS.  I have not heard AN word from him.  

Once again - put myself out there - shot down.  So basically he's dead to me….moving on.

I got an email from my gym yesterday about a new "Beyond Barre" class it was demoing.  

I've been dying to try one of these classes for awhile, so I figured taking a free one now might be a good idea.  Then if I hate it I won't have to wonder and if I love, I best start saving my pennies!  I signed up for the 7 am class this morning.  Upon my alarm going off at 6 am - I strongly advised myself that it would be in my best interest to go back to bed.  I sat in bed for a solid 5 minutes trying to figure out what to do.  Finally I flung myself into the bathroom and decided to hop to it and get my butt in gear!  I grabbed my bags and cabbed it across town.  The gym location is right by my work, so it made it easy.  This one is a little weird though - it's actually in a hotel (only in NYC), so you have to go through the  hotel to get up there - I was a little lost - but some poor woman took pity on me and guided me through. 

Class did NOT disappoint.  It was awesome.  Only 5 of us showed up - so it was a great size.  We used the ballet bars - that Sydney - is where all of my "practicing" came into play!  Side note - one time when Sydney and I were living together, she came in my room as I was "practicing" in the mirror all of my ballet positions (from back in the day).  I wanted to see if I could remember/still do them.  When she walked in she was all "what in the world" and we still joke about it - so excuse me Sydney - who's laughing now?!  Anywho - it was great and we even did stuff on a glide board - that was a lil tricky especially so early in the morning!  All in all - great class - kicked my butt - sweated up a storm (shocking). 

I went back into the locker room to start getting ready for work.  Took my shower - why the insist on only handing out basically hand towels for you to wear/dry off is beyond me - sorry I'm just a lil larger/ I needed like 4 towels.  Put on my makeup, etc go back to get dressed.  Take out the cute little outfit I packed…digging…digging…oh wait - I'm sorry…what?!  I FORGOT UNDIES AND A BRA!  I REPEAT I DID NOT BRING UNDIES OR A BRA!!!  

Sheer panic came over me.  Like I'm dying.  Sweating even more.  What am I gonna do?!  I'm already running late to work - can't go back home - it's too early for things to be open yet - it was 8:25 AM!!  I can't put on the ones I wore to the gym - they were literally dripping (sweat coupled with the fact that they fell in the shower after I "hung" them over the shower door).  So I did what any respectable girl would do - I free balled it to work.  All the while arms crossed and bags over the boobs.  So ridiculous.  I got in, waited until 9 am and walked right back out and to the Gap where I purchased a bra and undies (on sale might add) and put them on in the dressing room.  So much to handle before 9:30 AM on a Wednesday!!!

I totally missed the Teen Mom finale last night - so don’t tell me what happens!!  I hope Gearry's  mom and her glasses make a few appearances and Farrah has another hissy fit about something Michael did.  Anyone watching the new shows???  Up All Night - love.  New Girl - love.  And I saw the Glee & 90210 premiers last night - off to a good start!!  CAN. NOT. WAIT. For Modern Family & Happy Endings tonight!!  

Epic!!  Ok gotta run - almost through the week!!  XOXO

Oh and PS - I can barely walk after the class and I'm currently sitting at my desk with a tennis ball behind my back trying to "work out" my back situations.  So worth it though - my legs are gonna feel like rubba tomorrow!!

Challenge Accepted

So I know you're getting sick of my apologies and empty promises - but work has seriously taken over my life these past few weeks.  It's been cray cray to the max.  Sooo once again - sorry for being absentee.  Hopefully this story will help and make up for it.  It involves Giuliana, Carrie, a pair of jeans and MIA boys. 

This past weekend I was overcome with not one, but two migraines.  And for all of you out there that get them - you feel my pain.  Friday night I was a disaster.   I popped more pills than I care to remember - I woke up Saturday morning feeling like a bobble head and just hoping I kicked this thing!  I did…for a little while at least.  So I ran around on Saturday - I was quite productive!  In my travels I was on a search for a pair of black skinny jeans.  I feel like these are a good fall staple.  After being in Bloomingdales for over an hour and trying on about 20 pairs of jeans, the girl, who I warned I was a "problem child", finally threw in her white flag.  She was like I'm done - I can't help you any more.  So she took me aside and whispered for me to go upstairs to the other department to see what was up there.  I did just that and found the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now I'm slightly embarrassed about what I'm about to tell you - but I feel it is my duty to share this secret.  I wound up getting the most amazing pair of "Not Your Daughters" jeans!  I shrieked even writing it!  But seriously guys - they're amazeballs. Soooo comfortable and according to Carrie - my ass never looked better!  These are the ones I got and I'm obsessed:

So that I night I wore those bad boys and my new Trina Turk shirt - I was ready to go!  Me, Giuliana & Carrie went to Centro for dinner - basically I licked my plate it was so delish!  After that we were raring to go!  We bounced around a bit then committed to a bar.  It was fun - nothing crazy.  That is when Giuliana decided to throw the gauntlet.  She challenged me to walk up to 2 guys and tell them that my jeans "were not my daughters".  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!  

The next guys that walked by us - I ever so awkwardly sauntered up and this was our exchange:

Me:  Hey - what's up - so quick thing - these aren't my daughters.

Guy:  What - I'm confused what is going on

Me:  Not a big deal - just tell that girl over there that you agree- not my daughters

*Giuliana is doubled over at this point and Carrie is trying so hard not to die laughing - we think we're hilar*

Guy:  I don’t know what is going on

Me:  Seriously - this isn’t fun - just tell her "yes" and lets move on. 

It started to not be funny- the guy was so dumb and not playing along at all and above all else I think he must have eaten like a bulb of garlic and washed it down with beer - he smelled so bad.  So although I accepted the challenge - it wasn't as fun as we anticipated.  Tough crowd.  Then this other group of guys came over and they were actually fun - joking around, etc. - so nice. We were getting ready to leave - my headache came back and I was not in good shape.  So as we were walking out the fun group of guys followed us and were asking where we were going.  I started to talk to one of them - he was totally cute - and he was like yah well text me and let me know where you go - maybe we can meet up.  I said great - turned around to the girls and said - awesome he wants me to text him but I don’t have his number - oh well.  WRONG!!  Giuliana & Carrie started yelling at me telling me I had to chase him down the street and get his number! CHALLENGE #2 THROWN & ACCEPTED!  I got my slow job in gear and off I went.  I didn’t even know his name I was just yelling "Excuse me!  Excuse me!"  Finally I caught up, grabbed his arm and he turned around.  Again - with such grace I sputtered something out to the affect of:  "my friends said I needed to give you my number and then you walked away, so I was just coming back to give you my number in case you wanted to call me".  My game is so on point!  He smiled and took my number and said he'd call.  So I slinked back to the girls told them I did it and they were like 2 proud parents!  I'm back in the game!  We went home and called it a night.

The next morning I actually did get a text from him at like 10 AM!  I was pretty surprised - but it was cute and we texted back and forth a bit on Sunday.  He's also a Jets fan - so we chatted about the game a bit.  BUT here's the dilemma - I haven't heard from him since Sunday!  Totally weird!  Especially since in one of the texts he basically asked me out.  So what do I do?!  Do I just forget about it and chalk it up to some guy I basically met on the street and not even go down that road of disappointment?? Or do I go balls out - CHALLENGE #3 STYLE - and text him tonight/tomorrow and then forget about it if I don’t hear from him?!  And if I do text him - what do I say??  As you can see - I hate these things and I hate being a girl in these situations.  It's the worst!  I need advice!!  Send along your thoughts!! 

It's almost Friday!!  At least I have that going for me!!  XOXO