It's Your Lucky Day!!

Just a quick lil story for your entertainment - or maybe pity - I'm not quite sure which. 

I've become involved in Tarte cosmetics (thanks to Ruby!).  The first tinted moisturizer I got is great, but just slightly darker than my normal skin color (but great for when I have a glowing tan - which happens so often).  SOOO I decided to go into Henri Bendels yesterday to just get a lil bit lighter one.  I was short on time, so I literally slow jogged right up to the counter, I was like "hi I have 12 and I think I need 10, sooooo can you just grab that I can pay and be on my way?!"  The sales woman was annoying (had her once before) - insisted on testing things and finally wound up with the one that I told her I wanted from the beginning.  So she goes to grab it, this is after she tried to push another type on me, but I stuck to my guns and then she convinced me that I was making the right choice.  This is how the rest of the experience went…

Woman:  Ohhh ummm yikes….soooo ummm…looks like we're out of 10, but are you sure you don’t want the other one??

Me:  Yah - I mean I think this kind just suits me best, so I guess I'll just have to get it somewhere else.
Woman:  WELLLLLL we just got a shipment in this morning, so let me run downstairs really quick and see - I'm positive there will be some more in those boxes.
Me:  Oh that's great- thanks.
**Cut to 10 minutes later**
Woman:  (as she running at me through the store with 3 huge boxes) IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!!!
Me:  Oh such great news!
**She then proceeds to take out this brush & powder concoction and goes to try it on me. **

Me:  Umm I'm sorry I don’t really have time for this, can I just have the tinted moisturizer and I'll be on my way.
Woman:  OHHH yah so about that - we didn't have it.  BUT I totally think the other one is the best way to go anyway.
Me:  (getting slightly more annoyed as the time passes and now questioning why I'm even here) OK YOUR WERE YELLING HOW IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY SO I FIGURED THAT YOU HAD IT.  FINE JUST GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE.  (oh and I've also been there for 0ver 20 minutes, so I'm getting hella angry now).
Woman: (scurries over to the drawer searching…searching…searching…) Oh shoot (in this pathetic meeke voice)…we're out of that one too.

Me:  (say no words…look of death…storm out).

 

Happy almost Friday everyone!!  I'm heading to Deep Creek Lake with some of my girlies!!  Enjoy the weekends!!  XOXO

 

DCL - Hags Gone Wild - Final Installment

Ok ok I know the anticipation is at its peak! The final installment is here! This is prob the same kind of excitement that the Harry Potter movies brought in!

So I left off with Coco making her "point". As you could imagine - Sunday was no treat! Ruby crawled into bed with me and Sydney - and the lil pug puppies too! We recapped the night then began cleaning! Ruby's parents came by so it was great to see them and chat for a little bit. then we were off. Sydney and I went with Kit and Ruby & Hilary took Coco to the airport. It was about a 3 1/2 hour ride - so we were none to pleased to be leaving!

Our car made a quick detour for lunch when we got on the highway. Kit kept raving about Bob Evans - which didn't quite excite me as much as it did Sydney - she was dying to go. We walked in and there was a wait - obviously. And the man calling the names was priceless. He took his job so seriously - actually the manager from Friday night could stand to learn a thing or 2 from him. When he called each name - he said - with a little smirk - "Bob Evans would like to welcome The Nitter Family party of 2. Nitter Family party of 2". EVERY TIME. He also knew most of the people that came through so he was all lol'ing when he called them on the PA system. But he finally got to my name - couldn't pronounce it - and the hostess just came over and brought us to our table. Kit & Sydney basically excommunicated me because all I wanted to get off the menu was a chicken sandwich. I'm not big on restaurant's "home cooking" - I like my mom's but that's about it. Kit got some stroganoff and Sydney - not thinking about the fact that she was so hung over - decided it would be in her best interest to got this chicken noodle soup over mashed potatoes thing.



This is an actual picture

 Oh and 4 drinks. I told her she had an 8 item limit - including her drinks. Needless to say by the end of the meal Sydney was in the bathroom from overdoing it.

Our car ride commenced and Sydney needed to have a "bag" - things weren't going so well. It also doesn't help that the highways out there are very mountainous - not a good trip. There was a lot of heavy breathing and sighing from the back seat.

We distracted ourselves by telling Kit some tales from college and fun facts that she didn't already know. Including - not limited to - that Sydney once wound up on all fours outside a restaurant clutching bag of Doritos (1. The restaurant was about 2 miles from her apt on campus and 2. She doesn't know how she got the Doritos and 3. Her knees were a bloody mess). Ahhh good 'ol college - and there are plenty more where they came from - but that's a story for another day!

We finally made it back to DC and I got to see Sydney's new apt - which I heart. We were so tired we wanted to die. But - there were things that needed to be done - namely a Britney concert to attend! We quickly showered, rallied and picked up Ruby - who was equally as exhausted. We drove into the city and grabbed dinner. Next stop - FEMME FATALE! Our seats were pretty good and we were def among the older people - as these little tweens were running around in their belly shirts and school girl outfits. I'm such a hag - I actually turned to the girls and said, "They don’t even know! They weren't even born when that came out!!"

Nicki Minaj opened for her - here are a few pics - kinda hard to see.

She was amazing. Soooo good. Then it was kinda annoying because Brit didn't come on for another 45 minutes after Nicki - so we had time to kill. Sydney obvi needed a t-shirt and we got some soda to try to wake us up. It took every ounce of our beings to rally and enjoy the show.

Finally she came out - and let me tell you - Britney's BACK!!

She did sooo well - I'm so proud! She sang & danced - just like the old days. Totally loved it. She also did a great blend of old & new stuff. UUHHHMMAAAAZING!!

We are such hags though - we were all annoyed that the teenie boppers in front were standing - it was loud - all sorts of things were being spewed. At one point I got so excited that Womanizer was on and I turned to Ruby yelling "YES - I LOVE THIS SONG" - pretty sure she was sleeping.

Sleeping - at a Britney concert. I hit Sydney who burst our laughing. She was full on eyes closed. Amazing. It was only for about a minute - but then she didn't even know she had fallen asleep. We just can't do it like we used to!

We finally got home and fell into bed. Of course Sydney also took the opportunity to cut her thumb on her razor - blood everywhere. I think she was just jealous of my injury and wanted to have some attention. The best part was - we had to wake up at 5:15 AM!! I had a 6:25 AM train back up to NYC. By the time we got settled/sleeping we both slept for just a few hours. WORST.

Sydney drove me to the station - I got on the train. Pretty painless. I had my own seat - I mean who the heck is on a 6:25 am train going anywhere?! I finally fell asleep and was out cold when around Delaware I hear this yelling "EXCUSE ME MOVE YOUR BAG I NEED A SEAT". I literally jumped up - not even knowing what was happening. This older woman is standing above me. What is going on?! I grabbed my bag put it on the ground and closed my eyes again. She then proceeds to tell me that she wanted her own seat and there were no other seats on the whole train. I'm sorry - what?! You're trying to tell me that there are NO other seats on this whole train - when I can see 3. Really?! Why me?! We then reach Philly and I swear I think the Duggar family got on - or at least some version. Again - I was trying to sleep. The dad is yelling "find a seat kids anywhere just find a seat" like it was some life or death situation. They had about 10 kids, 20 bags. The mom gets on and throws the baby into a seat - in the car seat and leaves him there. What?! It was insane. She told the woman who was sitting next to him that he should be fine because she just fed him and changed him - he was 4 months old! I've never seen anything like it! They got off at Newark Airport - obviously with much commotion.

I eventually got back to NYC and headed right to work. called the doctor to have my toe looked at and get a tetanus shot. I went in that afternoon - let me tell you - tetanus shots - they are no joke. She told me when she was giving it that it would hurt - I got it and it was relatively pain free. I thought - no big deal. But then she explained that it’s the after affect that gets you. Let me break it down - I have a huge red welt on my arm, its burning hot, I cant put my arm above my head and its constant pain. But in other news - my toe isn't infected and Coco did a superb job as my triage nurse!

AND SCENE! HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE SHOW! XOXO

DCL - Hags Gone Wild - Part Deux

Annnnd we're back! Hello friends! Ok - now for the 2nd installment of the weekend - I honestly think I might have to break this into 3 - so this will most likely not be the last!

So where were we - ahhh yes the end of Friday night. Saturday morning - again - Ruby & I woke up before the rest of the group. We had our coffee and breakfast and waited. When everyone woke up we decided to take a run to the grocery store to get our rations for the evening. We planned a Mexican Fiesta - obviously. This included tacos, sangria, guacamole, Mexican dip and obvi Corona's. We got that all situated, unpacked & organized and then got ready for the Honi Honi.

Now a little info on the Honi - its in the words of Coco "the best bar I've ever been to". It's simply amazing. Not only are the drinks cheap, the live music pumping, but the people watching is out of this world. Here are few images of the Honi so you can get it in your head.

Its simply amazing. So needless to say we heart the Honi. We got there, got our drinks and headed to the lawn. It was pretty crowded, but we found a great spot. It was so nice to just relax on the grass, listen to the music and talk with the girls. One of the best parts, as I mentioned, is the people watching. While we came across quite a few "gems", including the girl that was doing the "naughty" photo shoot in her string bikini on this elephant:

This little old woman was my favorite. We all decided that this is exactly where we are headed. Please note the crocheted American flag/ Natty Light hat & the American Flag fanny pack (not pictured) - Amazeballs.

The only down side of the Honi is that children are allowed and they are abundant. I don’t think it's something that I'd do - bring my child to a bar - but who am I to judge?! For the most part they are fine and they stay with their families, however, we were among the exception. This pack of hoodlums insisted on playing FOOTBALL right by where we were sitting.

The hit me once and nailed Coco in the chest with the ball. You can imagine my rage - they just would not disperse! Our hagisms came out in full force. Here were a few of the comments:

"Scram kid" - Sydney
"Just not acceptable behavior" - Ruby
"I’m going to apply my sun block right in the middle of their game" - Kit (as she gets up and literally applies her sun block right in the middle of their game)

Soon after this we decided to pack it in. We went back to the house and out for a little evening cruise around the lake. It was such a gorg night and we were having so much fun. Kit broke out in her latest dance moves on the boat - obvi to a little Pink "Raise Your Glass". After awhile out there - we decided to dock the boat and get ready for the night. We did all our prepping for the fiesta. Basically we were all so tired and scared we wouldn't be able to rally. But around 9:30 pm - things started to get crazy. We played a few games and then Ruby's nephew came to be our chauffer for the night. It was great - he's 18 we each paid him $20 and he drove us to/from the bar. Amazing! And he loved every (most/maybe none) bit of it.

The bar of choice was The Black Bear - obviously. Let me tell you about my favorite part of The Black Bear.

As you walk in - there are 2 separate "rooms" - one to your left and one to your right. To the right the sign says "Tavern" and to the left this is what you see…

It's pretty much my favorite part of Deep Creek - it’s the clerb of the lake. Awesome. As we were entering the guy checking our IDs told us there was a cover charge - I'm sorry what?! We're at the DCL clerb - I don’t even pay cover in NYC! So Kit being the sweet talker she is got us a 2 for 1 deal and in we went! We started off in the "Tavern". As we were walking in - in the first 10 minutes - things started to get cray cray. As we walked past a tbale this guy kept yelling "Bachelorette party!!" Oh and I should also mention the place was basically empty. So said - "no, no bach party - just girls weekend" - half smiles trying to be polite. He just kept yelling "Bachelorette Party!!!" WTF?! Then we go to find a table and this older, extremely intoxicated woman came up to Kit and literally says this: "YOU ARE SOOOOO TALL!! Can I join your groups??" But completely serious. Kit basically was trying to be nice and oblige - the woman was so drunk - it was hilarious. She just wanted to be in our "group" - but finally after much coercion she went back to her "group". I mean I don’t blame her - we're fun!

We were all sitting at our little table just taking in the sights. Then some guy came up to Kit and asked her if he could use her chair - this was their exchange:

Guy: Can I take your chair?
Kit: Umm well I umm
Guy: Just give me your chair.
Kit: I'm kinda sitting on it and there are about 10 others in the room.
Guy: Just kidding - hi I'm Joe

Wait - what just happened?! His best pick up line was trying to get her to give him his chair?! Hilar. This was the beginning of the end with this group of guys. They planted themselves at the table beside ours. When a few of our friends got up to go to the bathroom - they slowly pushed their table into ours - to join our "group" - everyone wanted a piece! I of course - never one to hide my emotions - apparently gave quite the face.

Pretty sure they called me out on it too. But if nothing else - I admire their persistence. They were pretty nice guys - albeit children - but they were nice. The oldest I think was 24. One of them just wouldn't stop talking. He was showing us his "I Heart Boobies" bracelet - which he claims was for breast cancer awareness - I was still not loving that. And then things got even weirder. He told us about an incident that occurred earlier in the day. Apparently this guy's brother was getting married so this was his bach party. Well these guys thought it would be a good idea to beat each other with a wiffle ball bat as part of the bach extravaganza. I mean some guys get strippers - these guys get wiffle ball bats. He then proceeds to tell us that his butt was so sore and it had a huge welt. I mean that was TMI as far as I was concerned - but no - oh no - he then gets up - undoes his belt - and pulls down his pants so we can see it. In the middle of the bar. I didn't even know what to do with myself. Awkward Annie does not even cut it! Totally ridiculous. After this incident - we were pretty much ready to head to the "Nite Club" side of the bar.

Upon getting in there we noticed a few guys dancing and a band. Now the band was like old school mo-town. They were good - but I mean when I'm in a Clerb I don’t necessarily wanna hear "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins - womp womp! But we made do. So we walk in start dancing - again there maybe 15 people in here. This one guy comes up to me and asks me to dance. I had noticed his skills - or lack there of.

But he was really cute and so I thought what the hell. We start dancing and then I quickly realize that not only is he drunk - but he was on God knows what. My guess/conviction is that he was coked out. he couldn't stop moving. I was being flailed all over the dance floor! It was crazy. I mean only I would find the coked out guy at The Black Bear. I finally got away. Kit was dying laughing - it was ridiculous. Then there was another guy from his group that latched onto Ruby. He was the biggest creepster. Def drunk and just a mess. He even tried to dictate how Kit was dancing - and let me tell you - she does not need lessons! Then there was drama - apparently Coked Out Charlie was telling our new friends from the Tavern that we weren't "attractive" - which then sent them into a tailspin of fury. I still don’t know what went down - but it was drama central. After that every time Charlie came over to me Ruby shooed him away and told him to stand back. This turned into ridiculousness because then it was like the "forbidden fruit" - he didn't care about me - but knew Ruby would be mad. He was married and coked out - I really had no interest. I then took myself outside to sit with Sydney and Hilary. They had found some more new friends. Shortly after it was time for us to go home. Our new friends wanted us to come back to their cabin to hang out - we put the cabash on that and headed home - prob the best decision we have ever made.

We got home and continued our little party. Obvi made food and had a few more drinks. At this point Coco was in fabulous shape and this was part of our intense conversation about cell phones being the latest things to cause cancer - just like cigarettes were for our parents generation. Obviously a nice light hearted topic that all of us were in prime shape to be discussing. Here is a snipet:

Coco: I would like to make a point!

Me: Sure - go ahead.

Coco: My point is. What I'd like my point to be. I'd like to make a point. This is my point. (looks at me) What is my point?!

That was pretty much the end of the evening! Game over! We'll resume tomorrow for the final installment of Hags Gone Wild in DCL!

DCL - Hags Gone Wild - Part 1

Hello friends! So basically this weekend kicked my butt. I'm still recovering - on multiple levels! We had such a fabulous time - the weather was amazing - the company was stellar and the drinks they were aflowing! So much occurred that I'm going to have to do the recap in installments. So this one will be the first part of our long weekend!

I started my journey after work on Thursday. Penn Station was a mad house of course. I got to my seat on the train - so excited didn't have to share with anyone. I had my little snacks and was all set to settle into the 3+ hour trip. We get to the first stop and this older woman gets on - asks if she can sit with me. Really!? But they did say it was a crowded train - so I figured she was unassuming enough and probably a good choice to share this ride with. We were totally fine. I took out my laptop and was getting ready to watch a movie - only to find out - yup it didn't download all the way and Amtrak doesn't have service - now I'm a little annoyed. But it's fine - I still have my gossip magazines to keep me focused and I'm just so psyched to get there - nothing can bring me down. Except - this sweet older woman. As I'm putting my laptop away she whips out her "dinner" from a plastic bag. What is it you ask - on a confined train - where others are around - TUNA FISH SANDWICH!!!

Now I know most people love it - but I for one CAN NOT stand it. The smell just really gets to me. I'm generally a "foodie" and if its raw or a tuna steak - I'm game - but a tuna sandwich on wheat (homemade) - oh God please no!! I was just trying not to gag and focus on my People magazine.

Finally we made it - all in all - wasn't the WORST trip ever. I was so excited I basically ricocheted myself into Ruby's car. She had Sydney & Hilary and we were en-route to go get Coco from the airport. Kit was going to meet us at the lake in the next morning. So after a quick dinner break at the busiest McDonalds (the only thing open at that hour) any of us had ever been to - we grabbed Coco and off we went! Our car ride was fun - a lot of catching up and "story telling". It was so late we were all just trying to stay awake! Which brings me to the next part. We stopped at Sheetz to "refuel" - being that I (and the girls) have a weird obsession with Sheetz - it only made sense to stop there on our way. I had to go to the bathroom so bad - I ran in before there was a problem. Hilary & Sydney followed suit. After we were done, I was opening the door for all of us and then it happened. My big toe got caught under the door and things happened.

We do not need to discuss - because it still grosses me out/gives me the chills. I couldn't even scream/cry - my face lost all the blood in it and I almost fainted. Epic FAIL!! Thank God that Coco is studying to be a vet tech - so she would now be my "triage nurse" for the rest of the trip. They took me out to the car, cleaned it as best we could and wrapped it with a tissue & band aids, and iced it. Worst way to start our mini-vacay! But the rest of the trip was fun and we got out to Ruby's lake house around 2:30 am. Coco gave me a quick "dressing change" and off we went to bed.  (And FYI - this is what my foot looks like and I had to get a tetanus shot yesterday - awesome!)

The next morning - as per usual - Ruby and I were the first ones up. We got to chat a bit and catch up - which was great. Her mom was on her way with her 2 adorable pug puppies (she had been puppy sitting for Ruby for the past week). When she got there I got to finally meet my "nephews" - who are adorbs! Her mom is so sweet and just cracks me up. I don't know where this woman gets her energy from. Within the first 10 minutes that she was there she killed a wasp, put up the umbrella on the porch, emptied the car, gave the dogs water and watered her plants. Which was actually my favorite part. She was in a conversation with us and glanced out at her plants on the deck. Ruby was just getting a bowl of water to put down for the dogs and her mom screamed "Oh my God my basil - give me that bowl" - in reference to her wilting basil plant. She got so distraught she started running towards the door - didn't realize the screen was closed over and ran right into it. Water everywhere. Ruby & I basically peed our pants. It was amazing!

All the girls finally woke up and we pulled ourselves together to go get breakfast at our favorite spot - Arrowhead. They make the best breakfast sandwiches! We also got our "rations" for the day - food & plenty of beverages! When we got back we made Ruby take us for a quick spin on her boat - we were living the life! It was the most beautiful day and just cruising around the lake - it was perfect! Just what I needed!

We came back, had lunch, waited for Kit to arrive. It was just so nice to relax and catch up with the girls. Kit got there in the late afternoon in time for our second boat excursion of the day! It was fabulous! The girls went in the water (some not intentionally) - I couldn't get my toe wet - so I tried to hang onto the back of the boat and "dangle" myself in. I'm just so graceful. The end result was that I forgot I had my dress on over my bathing suit (not sure how - but I did) - so that was fun. I also almost killed myself trying to get back into the boat. That would be the last time for me!

As we were heading back a huge storm was brewing! We finally got the boat docked. We had to cover/close it up for the night which was more challenging! The wind was so out of control. But it all got done in the nick of time - because the storm was huge/bad! We got inside, had a few snacks and got ready for dinner. We were trying this new place on the lake, Dutch's. It was supposed to be good - brand new. So we made a reservation and off we went.

We knew we'd probably see some interesting situations when we got there, we just didn't know we'd be in store for SO many. Just as we were walking in this woman was walking out with her husband - I'm guessing a little tipsy - and she expounded "THIS FLOOR IS AMAZING!". Now let me explain to you - it was a tile floor. A black/gray/white tile floor. Something similar to what you'd find in a public bathroom. So that's how it began.

We had an 8 pm reservation and did not get seated until about 9:30 pm - so we had a lot of time to observe! The woman running the show was so completely frazzled and unorganized. Things were very out of control. I felt bad for her - but I feel like you shouldn't open a restaurant until you are good to go! She was just running around - but not fixing one thing! The electricity kept going out - like a fuse kept needed to be switched - the lights would go - then the fans would stop. Awesome. Then about 4 times a huge tray of glasses were dropped. Glass all over. Then these 2 couples, that were together , came over - they were just a mess. They had been sitting at the bar for quite some time and it was pretty obvious. The women - who were about 40-45 were wearing shorts that were so short - I didn't even know they existed. The one husband was just swaying and tyring to pass out mushrooms that he had on a plate - not sure where they even came from! He just kept yelling "eat some mushrooms" to which his wife/girlfriend/cougar replied "why are your eyes always to my bellybutton?!" - what?!?! Not even a clue as to what that could mean - she was just as trashed as he was. Then this other man came flying at the manager of the restaurant - again clearly tipsy (are you sensing the pattern here) and starts yelling & swaying.

Apparently they had a 7:30 pm reservation and got seated right away - it was 8:52 pm and they hadn't even got their salads yet! Total insanity! He proceeds to grab the manager and tell her to walk with him to his table where he demands that they WILL be doing something for them for all the ridiculousness. We didn’t see the manager again until the end of the night!

Finally we got seated. Everything looked ok except our table wasn't fully set and there were food trays on Kit's chair. But that aside, honestly our experience was not that bad - once we actually sat down. Our food was great and we were all pleased. One bottle of wine tasted like BBQ sauce -so we sent it back and there was no problem. We also played a little game at dinner and discussed 1 goal that we all had. It was fun and passed the time!

We finished up and were going to head home. We were so full - all we wanted to do was put on our PJs and relax. It was about 11 pm when we left and Ruby was trying to get the car door open. Her alarm goes off not once - but about 4 times. People were out on their balconies (the place we ate at is attached to a lodge) making fun of us. Not embarrassing at all. We couldn't stop laughing - such a scene!

We got home - I immediately through on my comf clothes. We all grabbed our wine glasses and settled in for the night! We talked a lot and looked at Kit's wedding pics. It was a fab low key night - we needed to save up for what was in store for the next day/night!

Which I will fill you in on tomorrow!!! Stay tuned - it gets good! Quick preview - Honi Honi, wiffle ball bat butt bruises, coked out men & Britney Spears. UHHHHMAZING!

Gone Fishin'

Hello world!!  I'm sorry for the lack of attention - work - again - has been crazy!  But I enjoyed my small, little beach vacay and got some much needed sun!  I just have to push through this day and I'm outa here!!  A short 3 hour train ride to DC and then it's Girls Gone Wild in DCL part 2 (or maybe more).  Deep Creek Lake here we come!  Me, Ruby, Sydney, Hillary, Coco & Kit are heading out there for a long weekend.  Hopefully we won't get locked out this time!  I'm sure by Monday I'll have a  few stories to share - so I'll be sure to post then.  OH and I'm also seeing Britney Spears on Sunday night -  don't judge me - I'm more excited than a 12 year old girl seeing the Jonas Brothers at the mall!  I can't even wait.  SOOOO I'm out - "gone fishin'" be back next week!  I'm so stoked!!  DCL & Britney in one weekend - I can't deal!!  XOXO

The Night I Went From Zero To Hero

Here's a lil tale about 3 friends whose friendship was tested, but ultimately prevailed.  It all started in the DCL (Deep Creek Lake, MD - for those that are unfamiliar with the lingo).  You see Ruby's family has a condo right on DCL and Ruby kindly invited Sydney and I out to use the condo for a girl’s weekend.  We left DC and started the journey, what was in store for us, we never saw coming.

Since DCL is about 3 hours away from DC, it was quite a ride on Friday night after work.  We of course got stuck in heinous traffic, needed to stop at Chick fil-A for dinner, we also had Ruby's beloved dog (RIP) with us, so a few bathroom breaks were needed.  Basically we didn't get out there until fairly late.  As soon as we arrived, we got our "necessities" (wine & snacks) and began our weekend of fun.  We had a few drinks on the balcony of her condo that overlooks the lake - so pretty and then decided to head out to a local bar for the night.  The bar was sooo fun - small town feel - great people - great music.  We had the pleasure of encountering Ruby's ex-boyfriend; we'll call him Spencer.  Now let me paint you a picture of Spencer, he has this most tightly curled blondish/brownish hair, he's skinny (like you can see his rib cage skinny), I'm not sure if he owns a shirt because I've never seen him wear one, and my fav part, he wears these "spectacles" (as Sydney coined) that are tiny round "Lennon-esque" glasses.  Amazeballs.  We decided to stay at this bar for a while, wound up closing it down and then decided it was time to head home - I mean it was like 2 am.  We were all quite tipsy and in rare form.  We got back to the condo and immediately started making/baking food - pizza bites among other things.  Quickly threw on our PJs and were ready for a relaxing post-bar recap!  Ruby had to take her dog out and Sydney followed her for some "air".  I was in the kitchen by myself, when I realized I was by myself, so I figured I'd just go join the girls.  I walked out the front door, greeted them, all omg so glad you joined us, etc.  So the 3 of us and the dog were in the parking lot of the condo complex loving each other and life.  After about 5 minutes of this we decided we should head back in - it was getting chilly and our bare feet/boxers & t-shirts weren't doing the trick!  We go to get back into the condo and there is just one problem - the door is LOCKED!  No one informed me (I mean why would you say this though) that when you went out of the front door it locks automatically!  Whomp whomp.

We all begin to immediately panic - it's now almost 3 am, we have food in the oven, we're in our PJs, no shoes, no cell phones, no nothing!  Ruby thought there was a spare key - no dice.  So we run around to the back of the condo, which by the way we're in the middle of the woods.  No lights, no cars, nothing but darkness…and a lake.  And none of her neighbors were around because it was after Labor Day (in early September).  There are rocks everywhere - our feet are all bleeding.  I'm in a complete panic because obvi I did this!  We go around back and again try to find a spare key - Ruby is crawling under her back patio to see if there is a key - cobwebs/bugs everywhere.  After a lot of "trying", we all just accepted the fact that we'd have to spend the night out there and wait until the morning to walk to the closest pay phone (like a mile away) and call her parents/locksmith.  So basically I'm in tears, I know Ruby is pissed at me.  We were all arguing/fighting.  We basically went to separate corners of the yard and just stayed away from each other.

Next thing I know I hear this rumbling coming from the front of the condo complex.  I'm now getting nervous thinking we're all going to be raped and murdered, Ruby's dog is too little to scare anyone away, and no one would be the wiser.  Awesome.  Then I look up and I see this figure hauling ass down to the backyard - it was Sydney with a huge garbage can.  WTF did she think we were gonna do with that?!  She had the brilliant idea that we were gonna use this somehow to get back inside.  So we all put our brains together and concocted this idea.  We gathered up all the lawn furniture from the other condos and stacked it on top of this garbage can, which btw was on wheels.  We figured that if we could reach the deck of the condo, then we may be able to get up there and get through the door on the deck that goes inside - obvi and then unlock the other door.  So we start stacking and now we're all giggles and happy and loving each other.  Question - who is going to be the pour schmuck that has to do the climbing?!  Well Sydney is too short and Ruby and I are both tall, Ruby is scared of heights - enter ME!  Let me also have you know that this deck is about 15 feet off the ground (that's just to the bottom/floor of the deck), we have no cell phones, I'm climbing up a "makeshift" ladder, that is not stable, and if I fall/die, I'm done for because we couldn’t even call 9-1-1.  So, sweet.  And before I go any further, let me give you a few visuals of the condo complex and just how high we're talking…

I say a prayer and "trust my sisters" (we were all sorority sisters and that is what they kept chanting to me).  Ruby & Sydney are planted firmly on the ground arms as tight as possible trying to hold our "ladder".  I climb up onto the garbage can - it's not to sturdy.  Then Ruby is trying to grasp tightly onto the patio chair that we have on top of that.  I climb up - again wobbling - I'm getting pretty scared.  I reach up hoping that I'd be able to reach the rungs of the deck so I can hoist myself up and over the railing.  No dice.  I need another chair.  Sydney grabs one and we stack that on top of the other chair (on top of the garbage can with wheels), I'm panicking at this point.  Still can't reach.  I look down at the girls and tell them I love them.  I'm gonna try to jump so if I fall to try their best to catch me.  I leap up grab the rungs and with some super human strength, I pull my body up the rungs, lodge my foot in between, stand, and hoist my body over the deck.  I get up - walk over to the door - and thank GOD we neglected to lock it before we left for the bar.  I opened it up, ran to the front, let my friends in.  We all stood in a huddle crying, laughing, and cheering for a good 5 minutes.  We then shut the oven off, took out our charred pizza bites and called it a night.  None of us spoke and we all went to bed. 

That night, words were said, tears were cried, friendships were tested.  However, the bonds of "sisterhood" triumphed and I went from the worst person ever to the Hero of DCL! 

P.S.  Ruby obvi told her parents about this situation and her father promptly fixed that lock and a new "spare" key has been re-instated in a secret location that only Ruby's parents, Ruby, myself, and Sydney are privy to.