NUT CAP SHELL

So Spring has Sprung…apparently.  According to my allergies at least.  According to actual temperatures…not so much.  I'm hoping for a lil warm up soon!  A little update on my life…some positive, some not so much.  BUT I know I've been a lil MIA, so this should cover the past few weeks.  It's a lil "Pro Con Pro"…sorority style flashback.

+ I went to Chicago & Houston to see some very fabulous friends.
                

·       In Chicago we did a lil shopping, caught up with old friends, ate/drank (are you seeing a theme here?!), went to RPM (which we ordered just about everything on the menu and it was all amazing - despite not seeing G&B - it was a fabulous time), and we went out and pretended to be young again.  All in all - a fantastic trip.  Chicago is one of my fave cities - the people are great the food is great - so much good going on there!
·       In Houston I went to a rodeo, ate some amazing food, drank some amazing margs and   beers outside and yup - went to a Crawfish Boil.  It was pretty much one of the best weekends ever - further fueling my "maybe I SHOULD move to Texas and just succumb to the fact that I might belong there" theory. 

- I had to sit in a doctor's office waiting for an appointment and this was what I dealt with:

·       A guy bringing his dog in a little bag and pretending like no one is seeing it.  Did I mention this was a doctor's office?!  And the dog would bark and the guy would just like look around like nothing was going on - still pretending he wasn't trying to stealthily sneak a dog into his appointment.

·       The obnoxious woman next to me told the receptionist that she didn't have time to wait (like the rest of us are all just free birds with nothing else to do but wait for the doctor).  Then she was filling out a form for her and her husband and she looked at him and goes "what is your birthday".  Ummm what?!  This is your husband.  He was like - "you don't know?!".  To which she replied "I can't remember everything."  If that relationship isn't rock solid I don’t know what is.  Annnnd then she proceeded to call someone they were discussing a "whore monger"…she was a real peach.

·       Another woman decided that it was in the best interest of the whole waiting room to hear her play whatever ridiculously loud game she was playing on her phone.  Awesome.

+ My co-workers and I decided to organize a House Crawl this past weekend.  It was pretty much amazing.  We went to 3 different apartments, had shirts made, drank too much and just kinda fratted out a bit.  It was a really good bonding experience. 

+ My sister and I met Mindy Kaling.  Yup - that's right - got a picture and all.  We went to an event at Bliss that she was at and next thing we kenw we were lined up waiting to see her…and then all of a sudden we were in a photo booth with her.  My sister sat on her lap, we had 4 "poses"…one of which my sister gave her a noogie.  Sooo that happened.  She was as awesome and fun as you would think she'd be!

+ I did a massive Spring Cleaning - got rid of 4 bags of clothes (donated them of course) and just really cleaned things up!!

- I had to go through stuff I hadn't seen in years...including things I prob wish I never saw again.  I.e. cards from old boyfriends, things I thought I threw out, cards/notes from people I don't even know who they are…aka "Can't wait to see you when you get back.  Have fun with your family.  Love you!! John". Ummmmm I don’t or remember one person named John.  I have zero idea who it is and who sent me such love notes.  

+ Saw a few good plays, movies, TV shows…

·       Bullets Over Broadway with Zach Braff - really good!  It's a new show on Broadway and I definitely recommend it!

·       The Other Woman - my sister and I saw this the other night.  I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did - honestly I laughed out loud in more m parts than not.  It wasn't like "best movie ever" - but it was exactly what I needed - a nice light rom-com.

·       If you aren't already watching these shows/watched these shows - you need to get on board stat - Southern Charm & Chrisley Knows Best.  Honestly - they are both so amazing.  I literally died over Christly Knows Best - I can't even handle that family. 

+ There's a new hot guy in my apartment building - on my floor - like 3 doors down from me. 

- I stood at the elevator with said gentleman the other day and iddn't know what to do - so we just stood there awkwardly in silence waiting.  Then we got in…I wiped the drool from my mouth …and I was so distracted I forgot to push the button to go to the bottom floor….so up we went to the top!  Then I casually/awkwardly/Lizzie-esque had this convo:
                       Me:  Soooo did you just move in?
                       Him:  Nope been here for about 6 months. How long have you been here?
                       Me:  Four years. (this is going swimmingly)
                       Him:  How do you like it?
                       Me:  It's good - nice and quiet. 
ANNNNND scene!  Not only was that one of the lamest things for me to say - we reached the ground floor and out he went…haven't seen him since.

There you have it people - a (I swear to God this is what I just said in my head as I was typing and went back to type this because it needs explanation) NUT CAP SHELL (I believe I was trying to say both "nut shell" and "recap").  Yup - I'm loosing my marbles!!  Be back soon…just gonna go try to find those quickly!

Images from:  #whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

It's Going Down...I'm Yelling TINDER!

First off - try to not sing that Ke$ha song for the rest of the day.  

Guys….the other night…I had a DATE!  No no don't get scared - hell is still as hot as ever and hasn't frozen over.  My friend Anna strongly urged/made me join Tinder.  Ugh - yes - Tinder. HOWEVER I've heard from numerous others that they've dated/been on dates with some really great guys, so I figured - what the hell?!  Welp - I had my first "Tindate" the other night…I can't really put into words how I feel about it, so you all can just be the judge.

Back story…he's 39 years old, in finance, decent looking (I mean who am I to judge?!), seemed  a lil funny.  He messaged me right away after we "matched" and we started chatting.  Normal stuff - nothing crazy.  Eventually he asked me to grab drinks and I obliged.  I should also mention that he seemed interested/conscientious - he checked in on me over the long weekend, asked how my trip to Boston was with my fam, etc.  I was really hopeful for this one.  We/I picked a spot and had a plan to meet there at 8 pm.  Now I was really trying to make an effort - I went home after work, re-did  makeup, put on a cute outfit, did my hair - really trying here.  

It was 7:50 pm, so I was literally just walking out the door when I got a message from him:  "Hey,still in the office. I should be there by latest 8:30.  Looking fwd to it." Basically he pretty much knew he was going to be late considering he lives downtown and the bar was uptown and would take him about 20 minutes to get there via subway.  Sooo already I'm annoyed, but I'm really trying here.  Like really trying.  Eventually I left my apt for the bar and we wound up getting there at the same time and had our awkward first encounter.  Phew - that's out of the way!  We sat down and he got me a beer…so I'm still kinda hopeful…so far so good.  Then he opened his mouth…. Annnnnd we're off!  I think the best way for me to recap this is to transcribe (to my best ability) our conversations/date/meeting/torture…

Me:  So you just started a new job, what type of work do you do in finance?
Him:  Do you even know anything about finance?? (condescendingly)
Me:  Well I mean basic, I was a business major, so I know some.
Him:  I work on the zippity zorp of the FGB along side the WPV and the schempes schlemps. …blah blah blah (he pretty much just used only acronyms and phrases that you would know if you worked at his job/at his desk/you were him…clearly things I didn't know)

Me:  (Smile & nod)….
Him:  (No questions about my job)
Me:  So Astoria - what made you move there?  I've heard great things about it, but haven't really been.
Him:  I was living with my ex-girlfriend - NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! And I had to move out and clearly I was going to buy something because I  could, so I looked everywhere and this was the best move.   I mean it's already appreciated in value in the like 3 months I've lived there.  But I had to buy like everything new - like everything.  I mean I had to buy utensils.
Me:  (giggling a bit because that's just that ridiculous) Utensils - huh?  I mean that's kinda called being a grown up.
Him:  Really - like utensils - I had to buy all new ones because I had nothing.
Me:  (changing the subject - or trying to)

**I should also take the time to mention that he was yawning the entire time.  like not little polite, I'm trying to hide how tired I am yawns, like big huge obnoxious yawns.**

Him:  Sorry - I'm just really tired - it's not you.  I have to get into work like super early.  You probably don't even understand how early.  Like I have to get there at like 7:45 am.
Me:  Oh yah I get it, I'm at work around 8:30 am everyday. 
Him:  That's like late compared to 7:45 am.
Me:  (thinking in my head…yah a whole 45 minutes really means a WORLD of difference)
Him:  Oh and I normally drink more.  Right now I'm just kind of off it because of my new job and I'm trying to stay focused.
Me:  Totally understand - I don't really drink much during the weeks and certainly not as much as I used to! (trying to convey that even if he didn't drink at all it really didn't matter to me)
Him:  NO - No I mean I get f*cked up on the weekends.  Like I'm a weekend warrior (yes folks he referred to himself as a "weekend warrior").  I get f*cked up on Friday, get up Saturday, run 5 miles, brunch it up and then get f*cked up again.  (did I mention he's almost 40?!)
Me:  Oh that's fun.

**Then we had a few other stupid conversations mainly about how great he is, etc.  Still yawning the whole time.**

Me:  I mean we can totally go if you're tired, want to head home.  (mind you I haven't even finished my beer).
Him:  Yah sounds good, let's go.

Game over.  Record time of 45 minutes.

Walk home…texting Anna and calling Hazel in Texas to just debrief.  I got home to this message from him:  "I'm sorry I was so lame. I'm usually not like that. I'mentally and physically fatigued, drained."  I just responded (which I shouldn't have even responded looking back) "no worries". 

Cut to me in DC.  Discussing this situation with Hillary & Sydney.  We kinda decided, maybe give him benefit of the doubt if he contacts me again.  I mean he's an ass, but maybe he was just off - who knows.  Saturday morning comes along…8 am…get a message from him.  Sydney and I were screeching a bit - she was like omg I bet he's just checking on you - kinda nice - let's open it.  I open it to find this gem…

"Hey, wanted to ask, did I look like my photos when u met me? Do I need to switch it up? Just curious…"

Soooo many emotions flew - Sydney and I were screaming and yelling and ranting and raving.  Who has the balls and audacity to send me that?!?!?!  I mean really?!  Did you really think that was a good idea??  Don't you have friends you can ask?!  What a D-BAG!!  Or as Anna calls him a "tinderk".

Over it!  

Done and done…on to the next…BTW I'm singing that Jay Z song in my head right now…

I’m on to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

Hold up, freeze

Somebody bring me back some money please…

**Photos from #Whatshouldwecallme and RealityTVGifs**

Wacky Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!!!  We're almost through the week kids!  

Last night I went with a friend to Carnegie Hall to see Lena Dunham & David Sedaris.  It was entitled "Along Together At Last".  My friend had an extra ticket, I thought it might be funny, but I didn't really know too much about David Sedaris before going in.  Pretty sure it was phenomenal!  I Had such a good time and the 2 of them were beyond hilarious.

They both did readings from their books that are coming/just came out.  David Sedaris also read an article that he had just written for the New Yorker.  This article was fantastic.  He has the weird side of dark humor completely captured.  I think hearing him read his work is also such an amazing experience, there are certain ways he says things that allows you to just know it's "ok" to laugh at something.    He has a number of books out too, one in particular is next on my list for this time of year - it's called SantalandDiaries in which he talks about his time as an elf at Macy's, green tights and all! 

Lena Dunham was equally as hilarious and amazing.  She has a new book, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, coming out and I seriously can't wait to ready it.  She read a few excerpts and I literally was crying.  She's just so real and seemingly "normal".  Even her stage presence was hilarious - she got on and was like listen I'm probably going to mispronounce words, fumble, etc., but just go with it.  Nothing pretentious or "important" about her!

As a totally different note/discussion…these 3 things happened to me this morning …

1.  On the bus this woman basically runs on with her son (mind you there are not that many people on, so it's not crowded).  Instead of telling the son to just sit down at a normal seat, she lets him run wild and all the way to the back of the bus.  The bus starts going and he basically flies across the aisle into some woman's lap and she, while trying to get to him, slams about 3 people (myself included) with his scooter.  Let's just say thank God the kid still had his helmut on from his epic scooter ride, which I'm sure consisted of 1 block.  Needless to say all of this and the 2 of them went literally 1 stop.  1 stop.  People are insane.

2.  On this same bus ride there was an angry woman who was older.  Every time the bus stopped she thought it was her stop.  Meanwhile - the bus driver does announce stops and he stopped at every avenue (we were going across town).  Oh also - she was getting off at 6^th Avenue (my stop) and this started at 1^st Ave.  Finally it was her shining moment and the bus was at a light, however she knew her stop was approaching, thought the stopped bus (due to said red light) meant she could just get off (not at the actual stop).  She began pushing on the door and yelling "BACK DOOR - I'M TRYING TO GET OFF!!!  BACK DOOR!!!"  Finally I politely said "we're not at the stop yet" and then she gave me a dirty look, the bus got to the stop and she scooted off.

3.  I get to work, get situated and settled.  Just starting my day and I hear this from one of the secretaries that sits outside my office door:  "This God damn list keeps changing like someone's bad underwear!!"

So I'll leave you with that lil gem.  I'm off to my old stomping grounds tomorrow…D to the C-izzle (does that work…no?!  Sorry I embarrassed myself).  I hope you all have fabulous weekends!!

Apparently I'm The Most Unorganized Organized Person

Ummm since when does it snow in mid-November and then go up to 60 degrees like 3 days later?!  What is going on lately?!?!?!?  Seriously - I can't handle it.  Everyone is getting sick, my migraines have been out of control, can we please just pick a temperature and somewhat stick to it?? 

Which brings me to my dilemma this morning.  I've been really trying to go to the gym before I go  into work, which, yes, is totally gross.  But my nights have been so nuts lately and that's always the first thing to go.  So I've been trying to get into a routine of 6:30 am wake up, on some sort of equipment by 7 am, showering by 8 am and work by 8:45 am at the latest.  It gives me time to do what I need to do and then on the weekends I can enjoy a spin class or Pilates.  I digress…this morning I walked out in cropped pants, sneakers, tank top, thankfully I put on a long sleeved shirt over my tank top and then my coat.  I walk out of my building and literally it's like monsooning out.  The wind is insane, it's raining and it's about 1 degree.  I was completely unprepared for the elements.  Which led me to thinking that since I've been doing this whole morning routine I have been unprepared in more ways then one.  My intentions of being all good and healthy and doing this in the morning are good, the outcome...not so much.  Every morning I look into my bag with this same expression:

I have either forgotten or brought the wrong thing…examples:

- No undies (had to go to the Gap when they opened to purchase a new pair)
- No bra (had to wear my gross sports bra until I could go to the Gap to buy a new one)
- A sweater that matched my outfit…only to find a huge hole in the armpit
- A skirt that totally fit last year…not so much this year
- Stockings…with a run
- Tights I thought were opaque tights but were really just sheer stockings (not a good look when you need tights)
- No moisturizer for my face (which sounds stupid, but I'm using things now that make my face basically feel like cracked clay without it)
- No commuting flats (so I had to rock the tights & sneakers look)
- No brush - which is just awesome
- A dress that is blatantly too short (shrunk in the wash and wasn't that short last time)

I know there is probably more, but this is all I can talk about at this point.  I've come to work more times than I'd like to think about dressed like a complete maniac.  Good thing no one really talks to me.  Womp womp.  Or maybe they just don’t talk to me because I either look like a crazy person or the office slore…either way...I need to get more thoroughly organized in this routine!!!

 

Hallo...WHAT is she wearing?!?!

Well hello my little pumpkins!!  Or actually Halloween is over (kinda glad), so I guess you'd be my lil cornucopias!   

So not much has happened since I last checked in.  My summer and fall kinda got away from  me between work, personal & family stuff it's been a bit nuts.  But now things are settling down, so I feel a lot better about everything!

So this past weekend was Halloween in NYC.  Which is kinda like one of the worst situations of life if you ask me.  I've never been a huge Halloween person, it kinda stresses me out.  I liken it to New Year's Eve - a lot of hype and then I'm normally let down.  So I decide to just become a hermit/90 year old woman on both of these holidays.  BUT Halloween in NYC is just a spectacle to behold.  Many girls takes this opportunity to dress like a complete slores, while I take the opportunity to dress in the biggest/most comfortable thing I can find (aka a pumpkin, bunch of grapes, bumble bee, etc.).  This past weekend I had to witness, among other things, this group of girls in their "80s gear" - soooo leotards, tights & leg warmers and they pretended that the 80s was basically equated to 1947.  I just sat there thinking  - I lived that - you didn't - you're little twits (hence the 90 year old woman coming out).  But they were flouncing (I'm going to pretend that's a word) in their no bras and tights and exposed backs and everything like it was normal and they were the hottest things in the bar.  Soooo I decided to enlighten you all with a few jems from this past Halloween of what actual people dressed up as (in addition to the usual suspects…sexy nurse, sexy police woman, sexy princess, etc)…this is not a drill…girls went out in public like this thinking it was fine because it was Halloween….and the actual names of these costumes are listed below…I repeat the ACTUAL names of these costumes…

Blast Off!  Astronaut

Candy Corn Cutie

Cherry Pie

Princess in Prison

Sexy Corn

Sexy Halloween

Yo Mummy

Bascially this is me watching all these youngins…

On another note…I also watched the marathon this weekend - congrats to all those runners!!  It's a tremendous amount of work, effort, sweat, tears, time, but it's one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life.  Well done!! 

So I'll be on my way now.  I promise I'll be a bit better now that things have calmed down around me.  Until next time…Happy Monday!!

It's Your Lucky Day!!

Just a quick lil story for your entertainment - or maybe pity - I'm not quite sure which. 

I've become involved in Tarte cosmetics (thanks to Ruby!).  The first tinted moisturizer I got is great, but just slightly darker than my normal skin color (but great for when I have a glowing tan - which happens so often).  SOOO I decided to go into Henri Bendels yesterday to just get a lil bit lighter one.  I was short on time, so I literally slow jogged right up to the counter, I was like "hi I have 12 and I think I need 10, sooooo can you just grab that I can pay and be on my way?!"  The sales woman was annoying (had her once before) - insisted on testing things and finally wound up with the one that I told her I wanted from the beginning.  So she goes to grab it, this is after she tried to push another type on me, but I stuck to my guns and then she convinced me that I was making the right choice.  This is how the rest of the experience went…

Woman:  Ohhh ummm yikes….soooo ummm…looks like we're out of 10, but are you sure you don’t want the other one??

Me:  Yah - I mean I think this kind just suits me best, so I guess I'll just have to get it somewhere else.
Woman:  WELLLLLL we just got a shipment in this morning, so let me run downstairs really quick and see - I'm positive there will be some more in those boxes.
Me:  Oh that's great- thanks.
**Cut to 10 minutes later**
Woman:  (as she running at me through the store with 3 huge boxes) IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!!!
Me:  Oh such great news!
**She then proceeds to take out this brush & powder concoction and goes to try it on me. **

Me:  Umm I'm sorry I don’t really have time for this, can I just have the tinted moisturizer and I'll be on my way.
Woman:  OHHH yah so about that - we didn't have it.  BUT I totally think the other one is the best way to go anyway.
Me:  (getting slightly more annoyed as the time passes and now questioning why I'm even here) OK YOUR WERE YELLING HOW IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY SO I FIGURED THAT YOU HAD IT.  FINE JUST GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE.  (oh and I've also been there for 0ver 20 minutes, so I'm getting hella angry now).
Woman: (scurries over to the drawer searching…searching…searching…) Oh shoot (in this pathetic meeke voice)…we're out of that one too.

Me:  (say no words…look of death…storm out).

 

Happy almost Friday everyone!!  I'm heading to Deep Creek Lake with some of my girlies!!  Enjoy the weekends!!  XOXO

 

A Few Lil Snipets

So lets discuss a few things.

1. I woke up to one of the alarms (not sure if it's fire or carbon monoxide) beeping because the batteries were dying. Soooo not necessary. I was so mad. How is that an appropriate way to enter into a day?! And the beeping is piercing, loud & incessant - it doesn't stop until you change the batteries.

So I muddled through it and I'm gonna have to change those suckers tonight. Sorry to all my neighbors that stay home all day - whoops!

2. I get to work, obviously sweating, you know because it was 24 degrees this morning. I have a love/hate with my North Face coat - the damn thing keeps me so stinking warm - but then after my walk into work I'm dying. Like who sweats in a temperature that your sweat could actually freeze?! How is that even possible?? I prob should have paid more attention in science class.

3. Upon getting into work I put my wedges on and go to walk for coffee…omg embarrassing moment….loudest squeaking…EVER!!! Like people were staring because it was so quiet in my office and those really set things off. So insane. Then I tried to slink back to my desk and quickly Googled "squeaky shoe fix" - yup - that happened and I was told to put hand cream inside my shoe. We all know that I'm always up for a challenge and to try new things, so hesitantly I smeared cream all inside my shoe. Low and behold…I let it dry and the stupid trick worked!!

So if you are ever in that sitch just slather on some good 'ol hand cream and you'll be back to business in no time!

4. I bought 3 lbs. weights last night. I read on Goop about this new Tracey Anderson workout you can do in 15 minutes.

I know a lot of people swear by her, so I thought I'd give it a try! I mean other than me looking like a fool, there really isn't anything to lose.

5. I feel the need to put in a lil plug for this show I saw. It's a live thing, so don't go looking on TV for it! But it's called Mortified and it's beyond hilarious. It plays in various cities, so I highly recommend you looking into seeing it. Basically it's regular people that get up on stage and read from their angsty teen diaries or past school projects or journals. It's ridiculous. I literally was in tears listening. And then it got me thinking that I'm sure I have a few gems of my own - I should prob dig those out. maybe I'll just transcribe them on here for all to enjoy.

So that's that for now. Happy Wednesday you lil punks!!

An Angry Lil Day

Soooo I'm an cranky lil duck today!! This has just not been my day - actually started with last night when I got home. Let me break this down for you:


Last evening: Got home from my acupuncture appointment, totally excited I had my mom's homemade soup to eat for dinner. Oh I also had a migraine so I wasn't feeling myself. Heated it up ate/licked the bowl so delish. Angry because I wanted more. Starving. Nothing in my house to eat because I haven't had time to go to the grocery store. So mad. Didn't really sleep that well.

7:30 am: Wake up/just get up since I've been awake for awhile. Groggily go to the bathroom turn on the shower. Confused. Nothing is coming out. Turn on faucet. Confused. Nothing is coming out. Go to the bathroom - realize I can't flush the toilet. Umm I have no water - AT ALL!!! Angry. I throw on clothes to go down to talk to the doorman to see what is going on. Elevator opens - there's a sign in the elevator that reads in the handwriting of a small child: NO WATER. WATER TANK EMERGENCY. FIXING ASAP.

So that's that. Go back - don't shower. Oh and did I mention I got my period this morning?! TMI - sorry - I'm cranky! So I'm not feeling good on all fronts! Throw on clothes and I'm off to work.

8:30 am: Get to work - my secretary tells me I have a run in my stocking. IMMEDIATE anger. I paid so much money for these I'm embarrassed. But I got them on Friends & Family at Bloomies and they're the Commando brand - obsessed. But they're like $30/pair (less with F&F). SOOO this is the first time I've worn them and now they're done. Soooo much anger.

9:00 am: This guy I'm supposed to get set up for a video conference with another office is late - causing a situation. Putting out fires. He finally arrives at 9:15 am. Awesome.

11:15 am: Called a spa for a gift for my sister in law (they claim to be having 15% off all gift certificates). Get this woman on the phone who informs me that it's such an amazing deal and you only have to spend $200. I was like ummm what?! There is no mention of this ever anywhere and I'm not spending $200. This is blasphemous!! Angry.

11:35 am: Called Proactiv to cancel my subscription/membership since they took it upon themselves to charge my credit card $40 just because they felt like it and I didn't give them permission. Get this loon on the phone that tells me ok great they'll cancel after about 5 minutes of trying to persuade me, blah blah blah. Then informs me that my card will only be charged an additional $100 because I'm in this "3 month installment".

SO MUCH RAGE/ANGER. I never signed up for this and now I'm being charged all this money?! Blood pressure rising even just typing this!! There may or may not have been some yelling. I cancelled my life with them and now have to send this stupid thing back (at my own expense) to get them to stop charging my card!! INSANE!!

11:50 am: Just trying to take deep breathes and settle myself down.

12:45 pm: In H&M trying to pick up a cute lil number for an upcoming weekend jaunt. Don’t' have my size in practically anything I wanted - however I was able to find a few thigns worth bringing trying on and most likely returning. Get on line. There are about 15 people "working" and only one poor guy running the register. The others are just hanging out. The line is insane waited for awhile and then just went to another floor.

1:07 pm: Go to grab a wrap - excited because I haven't had one in awhile. Don’t worry they don't have avocado wahhhhhhhh!

1:12 pm: Go to get my Powerball ticket - the guy gives me the wrong thing and I literally almost burst into tears.

This. Day. And now I have to go to a doctor's appointment that is always like 3 hours behind schedule. The only thing getting me through is that I know I'm seeing CCK for dinner tonight!! A fun last minute surprise and I couldn't be more excited!!

PSA - Very Important Info

So here's my PSA for today - actually I have 3. Two are semi-connected and one is not.

First PSA…VOTE! Get out there people! I voted this mronign - it was a mad house and I get that lines and waiting are annoying. BUT it's also really important - no matter who you support - just get out there.

I also got in trouble by a woman who was ummm about 90 years old because I wasn't voting fast enough. Oh I'm sorry - didn't realize how quickly you move so I'll be sure to hurry up! And BTW she worked there and was just trying to hurry people along - not ok!! I will take as long as I damn well please to decide and cast my vote…stand back lady!

As we approach the colder weather the second & third PSAs are slightly similar in nature. However each is equally as important as the other to keep in mind.
Second PSA…leggings are not pants. I repeat leggings are not pants. Period. End of statement.

I don’t care what you look like, how skinny you are, leggings are not to be worn as pants. The only time its slightly ok is at the gym. I get so annoyed when I see women prancing around in leggings and short tops. That's not how they are meant to be worn!

Please be a dear and cover your rear! PS - I just made that up - but I should copyright it as my legging slogan.

Third PSA…tights are not leggings. Especially when they are not opaque. You'd be shocked to find the amount of women walking around and you can see right through their pants/leggings/tights.

See how the two go together - because it's even worse when people wear their tights as leggings as pants. Stop the madness!!!

Ok - that's my 2 cents for the day. Please heed these warnings and think next time before you step out of the house.

Sir Mix A Lot

My apologies...this was supposed to have been posted last week!!

Hello party people!  Things are getting rull cray to the cray over here!!  My sister gets married in T-4 days - ahhhhhh!!!  So this will be my last post until next week and of course I'll fill you in on all the deets. 

So as you know - I've been roped into joining Match again - which I'll say is gross (have I mentioned that yet?!).  last night they had one of their "mixer" events and I decided to go balls out and just do it.  I mean what is the worst that could happen - I have a drink and walk right back out.  I was so nervous - like sick to my stomach nervous.  I most likely should have had a strong beverage before I went.  Oh and btw I was going alone - I repeat I was going ALONE.  So I got myself looking good and off I went.  It was at this bar - nothing too special.  I got there a half hour late hoping that I wouldn't be the first/biggest dork there.  Oh and as I was approaching the bar there was a chalkboard sign on the sidewalk with this in ginormous letters "MATCH.COM" WITH AN ARROW!!  

I mean mortifying - I literally covered my face, walked in and hoped that no one saw me.  

When I got inside I, of course, made a beeline for the bar.  I wiggled my way up, there was a good number of people there, but I hadn't really scoped it all out yet.  The girl standing next to me and I started chatting.  Turned out she was in the same boat as me, came alone and was hating her life.  We of course became fast and furious friends.   So we found a spot and started to check out the scene.  EPIC FAIL. And by that I mean that there were 3 times the number of women there over men.  The men there were either creepy or about 5'5".  Have I mentioned that I'm 5'8"?!  So there's that.  We basically just chatted with each other and then finally I started talking to this guy.  I had made a rule in my head going in that I had to talk to at least one guy.  CHECK.  He was kind of a tool, but could at least carry on a conversation.  We talked for like 20 minutes and then he was like, "umm ok so I'm gonna go back and hang with my buddies".  Cool - so glad I just wasted 20 minutes of my life on you.  have fun with them. Just annoying - I mean I really wasn't feeling him, but he could have at least asked one of us for email/number/something.  It was just really awkward. 

The whole thing was just awkward.  Not pleasant.   But I mean I had a glass of wine out of it and that girl and I exchanged numbers - haha I love how those are the "digits" I came away with.  We both decided that we'd try one more event, maybe something a little more structured, and at least we'd be together next time so it won't be as daunting!

So we left and I was walking away realizing I was in major shoe pain, so I stopped to change into flats. This guy approaches me and he's like "oh did you just come from there" - points to the bar.  I mean did I have a sign on me that read "loser who belongs to match.com"?!  I was like "yah I did - enjoy!".  I had no interest.  Again with the shortness and then I was kinda creeped out because he kept asking to go to coffee with me and I didn't know what to do, so I did the obvious and said "oh sorry I'm on my way home I have a bunch of work calls I have to make".  What - that clearly does not even make any bit of sense!  Why do I do things like this?!  He then asks for my number so I bargained with him and gave him my match name.  actually I accidentally gave him the wrong one - but don’t worry he found me! 

So basically out of this evening I gave my info to 2 people - one female and one total stalker creep.  All in all I'd say it was a successful hour and a half. 

Some Housekeeping Items

Ok so a few quick things that need to be discussed…

1.  I saw  "Pitch Perfect" and I'm completely obsessed.  Here are some takeaways:

- I want to marry the lead actor/character - his name is Skylar Astin.  

I've never really seen him before this, apparently he had a cameo on "Girls" (HBO).  Umm it's not normal how obsessed I am with him - I'm like a love struck teen.  And it's not even like he's the hottest thing around - his personality in this movie is just perfect.

- I love Rebel Wilson.  

She is a comedic genius and is really going places.  I think she's completely hilar and I want to be her friend.

- I awkwardly admitted afterwards that I wanted to watch it again and write down all the songs they performed so I can go buy the ones I don’t have.  It was like a blast from the past that I thoroughly enjoyed.

- I can't wait to see this again.  I need to watch a second time to capture things that I missed while I was laughing.

- Why are you still reading this and not running to your theatre to see it?!

2.  Is it weird that I didn't watch the debates last night (expect 10 minutes) and instead thought that "Giuliana & Bill" would be more important?!  I’m kinda over all this political stuff - I just want November to be here so I don’t have to deal anymore!  I mean you all know I'm overly obsessed with America - but all this back and forth and lying/not lying craziness is driving me nuts!

3.  My sister is getting married next weekend!!  AHHHHH!!! I can't believe it's almost here!!  I have a backless dress (I know major scandy) and I'm thinking of wearing my hair like so…how do we feel about it??

4.  I had another annoying "people don’t understand special issues" the other day.  I was on the bus and there were open seats everywhere.  I sat down on the end seat, so there were 2 seats to my right.  This woman gets on and sits directly next to me.  And then puts her bag on the seat next to her.  

Umm really?!  Why are you on top of me?!?!  I was like heavy breathing mad.

5.  The Real Housewives reunions were hella nuts!  NJ and NY are two of my faves and both just wrapped this past week.  I don’t even know where to go!  All I can say is - omg Joe Gorga was a stripper - dying.  Teresa needs to check herself.  Ramona is still Ramona.  I love Heather.  Jacqueline needs to stay awake.  I wish Kathy didn't get a nose job - she didn't need it!  Caroline - preach is sista.  Andy - you are a saint. 

Ok so that's all for now.  One more thing - I'm back on the exercise circuit.  Don’t worry the desk person at the gym gave me a "judgy" look when I checked in yesterday.  You don’t know my life - stand back!