NUT CAP SHELL

So Spring has Sprung…apparently.  According to my allergies at least.  According to actual temperatures…not so much.  I'm hoping for a lil warm up soon!  A little update on my life…some positive, some not so much.  BUT I know I've been a lil MIA, so this should cover the past few weeks.  It's a lil "Pro Con Pro"…sorority style flashback.

+ I went to Chicago & Houston to see some very fabulous friends.
                

·       In Chicago we did a lil shopping, caught up with old friends, ate/drank (are you seeing a theme here?!), went to RPM (which we ordered just about everything on the menu and it was all amazing - despite not seeing G&B - it was a fabulous time), and we went out and pretended to be young again.  All in all - a fantastic trip.  Chicago is one of my fave cities - the people are great the food is great - so much good going on there!
·       In Houston I went to a rodeo, ate some amazing food, drank some amazing margs and   beers outside and yup - went to a Crawfish Boil.  It was pretty much one of the best weekends ever - further fueling my "maybe I SHOULD move to Texas and just succumb to the fact that I might belong there" theory. 

- I had to sit in a doctor's office waiting for an appointment and this was what I dealt with:

·       A guy bringing his dog in a little bag and pretending like no one is seeing it.  Did I mention this was a doctor's office?!  And the dog would bark and the guy would just like look around like nothing was going on - still pretending he wasn't trying to stealthily sneak a dog into his appointment.

·       The obnoxious woman next to me told the receptionist that she didn't have time to wait (like the rest of us are all just free birds with nothing else to do but wait for the doctor).  Then she was filling out a form for her and her husband and she looked at him and goes "what is your birthday".  Ummm what?!  This is your husband.  He was like - "you don't know?!".  To which she replied "I can't remember everything."  If that relationship isn't rock solid I don’t know what is.  Annnnd then she proceeded to call someone they were discussing a "whore monger"…she was a real peach.

·       Another woman decided that it was in the best interest of the whole waiting room to hear her play whatever ridiculously loud game she was playing on her phone.  Awesome.

+ My co-workers and I decided to organize a House Crawl this past weekend.  It was pretty much amazing.  We went to 3 different apartments, had shirts made, drank too much and just kinda fratted out a bit.  It was a really good bonding experience. 

+ My sister and I met Mindy Kaling.  Yup - that's right - got a picture and all.  We went to an event at Bliss that she was at and next thing we kenw we were lined up waiting to see her…and then all of a sudden we were in a photo booth with her.  My sister sat on her lap, we had 4 "poses"…one of which my sister gave her a noogie.  Sooo that happened.  She was as awesome and fun as you would think she'd be!

+ I did a massive Spring Cleaning - got rid of 4 bags of clothes (donated them of course) and just really cleaned things up!!

- I had to go through stuff I hadn't seen in years...including things I prob wish I never saw again.  I.e. cards from old boyfriends, things I thought I threw out, cards/notes from people I don't even know who they are…aka "Can't wait to see you when you get back.  Have fun with your family.  Love you!! John". Ummmmm I don’t or remember one person named John.  I have zero idea who it is and who sent me such love notes.  

+ Saw a few good plays, movies, TV shows…

·       Bullets Over Broadway with Zach Braff - really good!  It's a new show on Broadway and I definitely recommend it!

·       The Other Woman - my sister and I saw this the other night.  I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did - honestly I laughed out loud in more m parts than not.  It wasn't like "best movie ever" - but it was exactly what I needed - a nice light rom-com.

·       If you aren't already watching these shows/watched these shows - you need to get on board stat - Southern Charm & Chrisley Knows Best.  Honestly - they are both so amazing.  I literally died over Christly Knows Best - I can't even handle that family. 

+ There's a new hot guy in my apartment building - on my floor - like 3 doors down from me. 

- I stood at the elevator with said gentleman the other day and iddn't know what to do - so we just stood there awkwardly in silence waiting.  Then we got in…I wiped the drool from my mouth …and I was so distracted I forgot to push the button to go to the bottom floor….so up we went to the top!  Then I casually/awkwardly/Lizzie-esque had this convo:
                       Me:  Soooo did you just move in?
                       Him:  Nope been here for about 6 months. How long have you been here?
                       Me:  Four years. (this is going swimmingly)
                       Him:  How do you like it?
                       Me:  It's good - nice and quiet. 
ANNNNND scene!  Not only was that one of the lamest things for me to say - we reached the ground floor and out he went…haven't seen him since.

There you have it people - a (I swear to God this is what I just said in my head as I was typing and went back to type this because it needs explanation) NUT CAP SHELL (I believe I was trying to say both "nut shell" and "recap").  Yup - I'm loosing my marbles!!  Be back soon…just gonna go try to find those quickly!

Images from:  #whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

Oscar Night's Outrageous Outfits

Happy Monday all you little chickadees!  Once again, NYC has snow, awesome, so over it.  Sorry that's the end of that.  I hope you all had fabulous weekends, I sure did!  I'll get to that later this week....because last night...WAS OSCAR NIGHT!!!  It's a night I've been waiting for and love - and it did not disappoint!  

First - before I get to all my fashion faves/misses - Ellen did great!   I thought there were a few "lulls" that could have been taken out (aka would have made it a lil shorter so I could go to bed), but over all I thought it was great.  Loved when she made fun of J Law and Jonah Hill.  The pizza was a hit and Brad Pitt handing  out paper plates as if he was a room mom in my 1st grade class, just was amazing.  The stars seemed relaxed for the most part and all of the jokes were in good fun - which I love!  I thought the winners were well deserved, although it was a very tough year.  I think Leo was a lil short handed, BUT my boy Matthew is flawless.  I really think it was a really hard year to pick just one, I know I had a few in each category that I really thought were outstanding.  

And now...on to the fashion.  I saw a lot of neutrals and lace this year.  A lot of sparkle, too.  Honestly, I didn't have that many that I didn't think looked great.  And even those - most weren't horrible - they just fell flat.  Soooo here are my hits & misses!

Favorite Singles:

Killing IT!!!  Love this color on her and the necklace is perfect.  Amazing

The hair.  The color.  The cut.  All perfection.

Stunning.  The beading on this dress is insane.  Simple hair & makeup made the look stellar.

This color is gorg.  I'm not sold on the headband, but it's so beautiful.

Classic.  So simple and sophisticated.

Slayed it.  That top and the silhouette is just unreal.

The bow tie.  The hair.  The eyes.  I die.

One of my absolute faves of the night.  This color on her and that body of hers.  It's not fair.

Looking good Mr. Cooper!

I'm sorry but could she be any more gorg as a very pregnant woman?!  That color is perfect on her.

The only way this could be more perfect is if Ben was hanging on her arm.

Most of you know about my girl crush on Kate, so this just added to it.  This dress on her was so beyond.

That necklace is so gorg.  She really just nailed it with the all white and red lip.

Obsessed with this color.  And the jewelry is just so on point.

Am I a cougar or is Zefron just getting really hot?!  What is happening?!  

Favorite Doubles:

Flawless.  Angie is a bit more "buttoned up" than usual, but she looks great and Brad - classic!

Can you even?!  That dress is beyond and he's so handsome it's not normal.  LOVE.

These 2 just really don't disappoint.  Flawless.

Once again - they just slayed the carpet.  Couldn't be more adorable and gorg.

I'm sorry...she's pregnant with twins guys!  How amazing do these 2 look - and that color is just gorg.

Not So Much:

I adore her - but I just didn't like that middle section.  The flowers did nothing.

So boring.  The top looks like something from 1994 and the shape does zero for her.

Love him - but it's the Oscars.  Put some pants on.  And her - I can't.

Just way too much black and that dress does zero for her.

Not awful - but something just doesn't seem right.

This made me just feel really blue.

The shape is fine, but I just really did not like the top and the way her hair was - didn't work for me.

Just no.  Everything is just wrong.

Pics from perezhilton.com

It's Going Down...I'm Yelling TINDER!

First off - try to not sing that Ke$ha song for the rest of the day.  

Guys….the other night…I had a DATE!  No no don't get scared - hell is still as hot as ever and hasn't frozen over.  My friend Anna strongly urged/made me join Tinder.  Ugh - yes - Tinder. HOWEVER I've heard from numerous others that they've dated/been on dates with some really great guys, so I figured - what the hell?!  Welp - I had my first "Tindate" the other night…I can't really put into words how I feel about it, so you all can just be the judge.

Back story…he's 39 years old, in finance, decent looking (I mean who am I to judge?!), seemed  a lil funny.  He messaged me right away after we "matched" and we started chatting.  Normal stuff - nothing crazy.  Eventually he asked me to grab drinks and I obliged.  I should also mention that he seemed interested/conscientious - he checked in on me over the long weekend, asked how my trip to Boston was with my fam, etc.  I was really hopeful for this one.  We/I picked a spot and had a plan to meet there at 8 pm.  Now I was really trying to make an effort - I went home after work, re-did  makeup, put on a cute outfit, did my hair - really trying here.  

It was 7:50 pm, so I was literally just walking out the door when I got a message from him:  "Hey,still in the office. I should be there by latest 8:30.  Looking fwd to it." Basically he pretty much knew he was going to be late considering he lives downtown and the bar was uptown and would take him about 20 minutes to get there via subway.  Sooo already I'm annoyed, but I'm really trying here.  Like really trying.  Eventually I left my apt for the bar and we wound up getting there at the same time and had our awkward first encounter.  Phew - that's out of the way!  We sat down and he got me a beer…so I'm still kinda hopeful…so far so good.  Then he opened his mouth…. Annnnnd we're off!  I think the best way for me to recap this is to transcribe (to my best ability) our conversations/date/meeting/torture…

Me:  So you just started a new job, what type of work do you do in finance?
Him:  Do you even know anything about finance?? (condescendingly)
Me:  Well I mean basic, I was a business major, so I know some.
Him:  I work on the zippity zorp of the FGB along side the WPV and the schempes schlemps. …blah blah blah (he pretty much just used only acronyms and phrases that you would know if you worked at his job/at his desk/you were him…clearly things I didn't know)

Me:  (Smile & nod)….
Him:  (No questions about my job)
Me:  So Astoria - what made you move there?  I've heard great things about it, but haven't really been.
Him:  I was living with my ex-girlfriend - NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! And I had to move out and clearly I was going to buy something because I  could, so I looked everywhere and this was the best move.   I mean it's already appreciated in value in the like 3 months I've lived there.  But I had to buy like everything new - like everything.  I mean I had to buy utensils.
Me:  (giggling a bit because that's just that ridiculous) Utensils - huh?  I mean that's kinda called being a grown up.
Him:  Really - like utensils - I had to buy all new ones because I had nothing.
Me:  (changing the subject - or trying to)

**I should also take the time to mention that he was yawning the entire time.  like not little polite, I'm trying to hide how tired I am yawns, like big huge obnoxious yawns.**

Him:  Sorry - I'm just really tired - it's not you.  I have to get into work like super early.  You probably don't even understand how early.  Like I have to get there at like 7:45 am.
Me:  Oh yah I get it, I'm at work around 8:30 am everyday. 
Him:  That's like late compared to 7:45 am.
Me:  (thinking in my head…yah a whole 45 minutes really means a WORLD of difference)
Him:  Oh and I normally drink more.  Right now I'm just kind of off it because of my new job and I'm trying to stay focused.
Me:  Totally understand - I don't really drink much during the weeks and certainly not as much as I used to! (trying to convey that even if he didn't drink at all it really didn't matter to me)
Him:  NO - No I mean I get f*cked up on the weekends.  Like I'm a weekend warrior (yes folks he referred to himself as a "weekend warrior").  I get f*cked up on Friday, get up Saturday, run 5 miles, brunch it up and then get f*cked up again.  (did I mention he's almost 40?!)
Me:  Oh that's fun.

**Then we had a few other stupid conversations mainly about how great he is, etc.  Still yawning the whole time.**

Me:  I mean we can totally go if you're tired, want to head home.  (mind you I haven't even finished my beer).
Him:  Yah sounds good, let's go.

Game over.  Record time of 45 minutes.

Walk home…texting Anna and calling Hazel in Texas to just debrief.  I got home to this message from him:  "I'm sorry I was so lame. I'm usually not like that. I'mentally and physically fatigued, drained."  I just responded (which I shouldn't have even responded looking back) "no worries". 

Cut to me in DC.  Discussing this situation with Hillary & Sydney.  We kinda decided, maybe give him benefit of the doubt if he contacts me again.  I mean he's an ass, but maybe he was just off - who knows.  Saturday morning comes along…8 am…get a message from him.  Sydney and I were screeching a bit - she was like omg I bet he's just checking on you - kinda nice - let's open it.  I open it to find this gem…

"Hey, wanted to ask, did I look like my photos when u met me? Do I need to switch it up? Just curious…"

Soooo many emotions flew - Sydney and I were screaming and yelling and ranting and raving.  Who has the balls and audacity to send me that?!?!?!  I mean really?!  Did you really think that was a good idea??  Don't you have friends you can ask?!  What a D-BAG!!  Or as Anna calls him a "tinderk".

Over it!  

Done and done…on to the next…BTW I'm singing that Jay Z song in my head right now…

I’m on to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

Hold up, freeze

Somebody bring me back some money please…

**Photos from #Whatshouldwecallme and RealityTVGifs**

How To Survive Winter

Is anyone else totally over this weather?!  I'm usually not one to complain when it comes to snow/winter - but enough is enough!!  We've had too much and now we're getting more and someone is angry (aka me).  There's not much motivating me these next few weeks or some amazing beach vacay at the end of this gloomy, freezing cold tunnel.  Wahhhhhh.  I do however have a few fun weekend jaunts coming up, DC for Sydney's bday, Chicago in April and I just booked a lil trippy to Houston in March.  BUT I feel like I need more to keep me going!!  And work and the gym are simply not cutting it!!  The only thing slightly keeping me afloat is the amazing reality TV that has been gracing us lately.  Here are a few things that I'm currently obsessed with and my rationale…trust me you'll need to get involved.

Vanderpump Rules - Now if you haven't already gotten on board…you really need to.  The season is over, but the reunion specials are on now.  This sums it up...

Do yourself a favor and binge watch it during this next snow storm.   It's ahhhmazing.  And these kids are no joke cray to the zay.  I won't totally spoil things now…I'll give you till the next reunion show (you have 1 week).  And if you think for one second that I wasn't at an event with Jax Taylor last week...YOU'RE WRONG!!

Couple's Therapy - Ok so I'm slightly embarrassed by this on…a lil WT, HOWEVER it's beyond.  I mean in one house you have Taylor from RHOBH, FARRAH from Teen Mom & Ghostface Killah…I'm sorry…WHAT?!?!?!  The amount of times that Farrah "cries"/can't speak/whispers is beyond.  And she's there alone…I repeat…she is at couple's therapy alone.  Oh and Taylor cries over green towels.  It's just too much and I can't handle it …oh and did I mention John Gosslin is also on there??

The Bachelor  - Now I haven't tuned into this since Trista & Ryan.  It's seriously been that long.  We used to watch it in college with wine and friends and it was great - but it lost it's "charm" when I was watching sober…alone.  BUT I stumbled upon it a few weeks ago and I must say I'm aboard this runaway train.  It's a disaster.  These girls - I can't.  get a hold of yourselves!!  If one more 20 something talks about "settling down" and "ticking clocks" and needing to get married - I'm gonna scream.  I think these reviews really nailed it!  However, it's worth it every week to tune into the meltdown that ensues - because don't worry - there's one every week.  This is my fave...oh Victoria! 

Rich Kids of Beverly Hills - I still can't tell if I hate this or love this.  I feel like parts of it are so beyond ridiculous that I just can't help but sit there laughing.  And it's better when they acknowledge how ridiculous it really is.  The one girl who I think is hilar is Morgan - I kinda wanna be her friend. 

Obviously this list is non-exclusive of my original faves…every RH (meaning every city).  Kardashians…I just can't quit you!  Shah's of Sunset…finale tonight!! 

Soooo I hope you all have snow days this week!  I'm positive I won't…because don't worry I was at work when New York was declared a "State of Emergency"…so that's normal.  You know just had to climb over a few snow mounds, but I made it!  Smiling allll the way….

Global Recap

Hi everyone!!  I'm back!!  I figured what would be a better way to slither back into your hearts than a good old fashion - fashion recap!!  I hope you all enjoyed the holidays and New Years and everything in between.  I had a fabulous time...even acquired a new nephew!  Now it's back to reality and back to the gym and back to pretending winter is the best time ever!  I actually don't mind the cold and I'm kinda weirdly invigorated by this New Year, but last week was more than anyone could handle.  Glad to say so long to the Polar Vortex - so glad that's behind us.    

So last night was the Golden Globes.  I loved it!  Most award shows bore me and I don't pay much attention after the initial opening acts, but last night - so good!  I think I also LOVED most of the movies they were discussing (I haven't seen a few...but RUN don't walk to Wolf of Wall Street & American Hustle).  Tina & Amy were phenom - they really nailed it and had a few really good/funny jokes along the way!  I was dying!  Of course there were a few awkward moments (aka Diddy & Bono's hug, Jacqueline Bisset's acceptance speech, etc.), but that's what made it an even better show!  Of course my fave part of any awards show is the fashion and what everyone was wearing.  I've put my faves below (some of them really knocked it out of the park), my not so faves, and best couples!  Enjoy and I promise I'll be better about my updates...New Year's resolutions and all!

Best Dressed:

Cate Blanchett - that lace...amaze!

Bradley Cooper - let's be honest can he really be not hot?!

Amber Heard - not loving the hair, but that dresh - fabs!

Julia Louis-Dreyfus - seriously - that body/dress - fits like a glove!

Jared Leto - looking good, Jordan!

Julianna Margulies - loving the gold accents and it has pockets!

Reese Witherspoon - my gurrrrl - that color on her - nailed it!

Sofia Vergara - love how she went outside the box for this one and that necklace is beyond!

Alison Williams - this was getting bad reviews, but I really liked it - and girl can work a column dress!

Rashida Jones - I was a little on the fence, but she looks adorbs!

Leonardo DiCaprio - boy looks good in a suit!!  

Leslie Mann - loving her peplum!

Margot Robbie - one of my faves of the night - absolutely flawless!

Helen Mirren - love the color - style is perfect for her!

Lupita Nyong'o - she looked stunning!

Kerry Washington - gorg all the way around - knows how to dress that bump!

Olivia Wilde - love the color - love the bump - does pregnant women proud!

Best Dressed Couples:

Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan-Tatum - perfect together - he is just so hoooot!

Matt Damon & Luciana Barroso - her dress is gorg and he can really do no wrong by me!

Chris Hemsworth & Elsa Pataky - flawless & rumor is she's prego - looking good!

Matthew McConaughey & Camila Alves - that green velvet blazer - I die!

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler - not technically a "couple" - but they looked smashing together!

"A" For Effort:

Amy Adams - I think the color combo didn't work for me - the fit is perfect - but something was off.

Julie Bowen - again - the colors were off and the sleeves didn't do anything for her.

Drew Barrymore - just really didn't like this - did zero for flattery.

Emma Stone - it's allll off.

Hayden Panettiere - didn't like the hair and the cut made her look like a line backer. 

Jennifer Lawrence - love her and wanted to like this, but it just did nothing for me.

Julia Roberts - love from the armpits down...that top?!

Lena Dunham - color is fab, but that just really did nothing for her.

Sandra Bullock - just didn't work for me - and for some reason she looked sad all night, so that didn't help.

Taylor Swift - didn't hate...but certainly didn't love.  

Emma Watson - just can't get behind this.

Zoe Saldana - love the fashion risk....didn't like the outcome.

Zooey Deschanel - all sorts of wrong - in every direction.