NUT CAP SHELL

So Spring has Sprung…apparently.  According to my allergies at least.  According to actual temperatures…not so much.  I'm hoping for a lil warm up soon!  A little update on my life…some positive, some not so much.  BUT I know I've been a lil MIA, so this should cover the past few weeks.  It's a lil "Pro Con Pro"…sorority style flashback.

+ I went to Chicago & Houston to see some very fabulous friends.
                

·       In Chicago we did a lil shopping, caught up with old friends, ate/drank (are you seeing a theme here?!), went to RPM (which we ordered just about everything on the menu and it was all amazing - despite not seeing G&B - it was a fabulous time), and we went out and pretended to be young again.  All in all - a fantastic trip.  Chicago is one of my fave cities - the people are great the food is great - so much good going on there!
·       In Houston I went to a rodeo, ate some amazing food, drank some amazing margs and   beers outside and yup - went to a Crawfish Boil.  It was pretty much one of the best weekends ever - further fueling my "maybe I SHOULD move to Texas and just succumb to the fact that I might belong there" theory. 

- I had to sit in a doctor's office waiting for an appointment and this was what I dealt with:

·       A guy bringing his dog in a little bag and pretending like no one is seeing it.  Did I mention this was a doctor's office?!  And the dog would bark and the guy would just like look around like nothing was going on - still pretending he wasn't trying to stealthily sneak a dog into his appointment.

·       The obnoxious woman next to me told the receptionist that she didn't have time to wait (like the rest of us are all just free birds with nothing else to do but wait for the doctor).  Then she was filling out a form for her and her husband and she looked at him and goes "what is your birthday".  Ummm what?!  This is your husband.  He was like - "you don't know?!".  To which she replied "I can't remember everything."  If that relationship isn't rock solid I don’t know what is.  Annnnd then she proceeded to call someone they were discussing a "whore monger"…she was a real peach.

·       Another woman decided that it was in the best interest of the whole waiting room to hear her play whatever ridiculously loud game she was playing on her phone.  Awesome.

+ My co-workers and I decided to organize a House Crawl this past weekend.  It was pretty much amazing.  We went to 3 different apartments, had shirts made, drank too much and just kinda fratted out a bit.  It was a really good bonding experience. 

+ My sister and I met Mindy Kaling.  Yup - that's right - got a picture and all.  We went to an event at Bliss that she was at and next thing we kenw we were lined up waiting to see her…and then all of a sudden we were in a photo booth with her.  My sister sat on her lap, we had 4 "poses"…one of which my sister gave her a noogie.  Sooo that happened.  She was as awesome and fun as you would think she'd be!

+ I did a massive Spring Cleaning - got rid of 4 bags of clothes (donated them of course) and just really cleaned things up!!

- I had to go through stuff I hadn't seen in years...including things I prob wish I never saw again.  I.e. cards from old boyfriends, things I thought I threw out, cards/notes from people I don't even know who they are…aka "Can't wait to see you when you get back.  Have fun with your family.  Love you!! John". Ummmmm I don’t or remember one person named John.  I have zero idea who it is and who sent me such love notes.  

+ Saw a few good plays, movies, TV shows…

·       Bullets Over Broadway with Zach Braff - really good!  It's a new show on Broadway and I definitely recommend it!

·       The Other Woman - my sister and I saw this the other night.  I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did - honestly I laughed out loud in more m parts than not.  It wasn't like "best movie ever" - but it was exactly what I needed - a nice light rom-com.

·       If you aren't already watching these shows/watched these shows - you need to get on board stat - Southern Charm & Chrisley Knows Best.  Honestly - they are both so amazing.  I literally died over Christly Knows Best - I can't even handle that family. 

+ There's a new hot guy in my apartment building - on my floor - like 3 doors down from me. 

- I stood at the elevator with said gentleman the other day and iddn't know what to do - so we just stood there awkwardly in silence waiting.  Then we got in…I wiped the drool from my mouth …and I was so distracted I forgot to push the button to go to the bottom floor….so up we went to the top!  Then I casually/awkwardly/Lizzie-esque had this convo:
                       Me:  Soooo did you just move in?
                       Him:  Nope been here for about 6 months. How long have you been here?
                       Me:  Four years. (this is going swimmingly)
                       Him:  How do you like it?
                       Me:  It's good - nice and quiet. 
ANNNNND scene!  Not only was that one of the lamest things for me to say - we reached the ground floor and out he went…haven't seen him since.

There you have it people - a (I swear to God this is what I just said in my head as I was typing and went back to type this because it needs explanation) NUT CAP SHELL (I believe I was trying to say both "nut shell" and "recap").  Yup - I'm loosing my marbles!!  Be back soon…just gonna go try to find those quickly!

Images from:  #whatshouldwecallme.tumblr.com

Wacky Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!!!  We're almost through the week kids!  

Last night I went with a friend to Carnegie Hall to see Lena Dunham & David Sedaris.  It was entitled "Along Together At Last".  My friend had an extra ticket, I thought it might be funny, but I didn't really know too much about David Sedaris before going in.  Pretty sure it was phenomenal!  I Had such a good time and the 2 of them were beyond hilarious.

They both did readings from their books that are coming/just came out.  David Sedaris also read an article that he had just written for the New Yorker.  This article was fantastic.  He has the weird side of dark humor completely captured.  I think hearing him read his work is also such an amazing experience, there are certain ways he says things that allows you to just know it's "ok" to laugh at something.    He has a number of books out too, one in particular is next on my list for this time of year - it's called SantalandDiaries in which he talks about his time as an elf at Macy's, green tights and all! 

Lena Dunham was equally as hilarious and amazing.  She has a new book, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, coming out and I seriously can't wait to ready it.  She read a few excerpts and I literally was crying.  She's just so real and seemingly "normal".  Even her stage presence was hilarious - she got on and was like listen I'm probably going to mispronounce words, fumble, etc., but just go with it.  Nothing pretentious or "important" about her!

As a totally different note/discussion…these 3 things happened to me this morning …

1.  On the bus this woman basically runs on with her son (mind you there are not that many people on, so it's not crowded).  Instead of telling the son to just sit down at a normal seat, she lets him run wild and all the way to the back of the bus.  The bus starts going and he basically flies across the aisle into some woman's lap and she, while trying to get to him, slams about 3 people (myself included) with his scooter.  Let's just say thank God the kid still had his helmut on from his epic scooter ride, which I'm sure consisted of 1 block.  Needless to say all of this and the 2 of them went literally 1 stop.  1 stop.  People are insane.

2.  On this same bus ride there was an angry woman who was older.  Every time the bus stopped she thought it was her stop.  Meanwhile - the bus driver does announce stops and he stopped at every avenue (we were going across town).  Oh also - she was getting off at 6^th Avenue (my stop) and this started at 1^st Ave.  Finally it was her shining moment and the bus was at a light, however she knew her stop was approaching, thought the stopped bus (due to said red light) meant she could just get off (not at the actual stop).  She began pushing on the door and yelling "BACK DOOR - I'M TRYING TO GET OFF!!!  BACK DOOR!!!"  Finally I politely said "we're not at the stop yet" and then she gave me a dirty look, the bus got to the stop and she scooted off.

3.  I get to work, get situated and settled.  Just starting my day and I hear this from one of the secretaries that sits outside my office door:  "This God damn list keeps changing like someone's bad underwear!!"

So I'll leave you with that lil gem.  I'm off to my old stomping grounds tomorrow…D to the C-izzle (does that work…no?!  Sorry I embarrassed myself).  I hope you all have fabulous weekends!!

Some Housekeeping Items

Ok so a few quick things that need to be discussed…

1.  I saw  "Pitch Perfect" and I'm completely obsessed.  Here are some takeaways:

- I want to marry the lead actor/character - his name is Skylar Astin.  

I've never really seen him before this, apparently he had a cameo on "Girls" (HBO).  Umm it's not normal how obsessed I am with him - I'm like a love struck teen.  And it's not even like he's the hottest thing around - his personality in this movie is just perfect.

- I love Rebel Wilson.  

She is a comedic genius and is really going places.  I think she's completely hilar and I want to be her friend.

- I awkwardly admitted afterwards that I wanted to watch it again and write down all the songs they performed so I can go buy the ones I don’t have.  It was like a blast from the past that I thoroughly enjoyed.

- I can't wait to see this again.  I need to watch a second time to capture things that I missed while I was laughing.

- Why are you still reading this and not running to your theatre to see it?!

2.  Is it weird that I didn't watch the debates last night (expect 10 minutes) and instead thought that "Giuliana & Bill" would be more important?!  I’m kinda over all this political stuff - I just want November to be here so I don’t have to deal anymore!  I mean you all know I'm overly obsessed with America - but all this back and forth and lying/not lying craziness is driving me nuts!

3.  My sister is getting married next weekend!!  AHHHHH!!! I can't believe it's almost here!!  I have a backless dress (I know major scandy) and I'm thinking of wearing my hair like so…how do we feel about it??

4.  I had another annoying "people don’t understand special issues" the other day.  I was on the bus and there were open seats everywhere.  I sat down on the end seat, so there were 2 seats to my right.  This woman gets on and sits directly next to me.  And then puts her bag on the seat next to her.  

Umm really?!  Why are you on top of me?!?!  I was like heavy breathing mad.

5.  The Real Housewives reunions were hella nuts!  NJ and NY are two of my faves and both just wrapped this past week.  I don’t even know where to go!  All I can say is - omg Joe Gorga was a stripper - dying.  Teresa needs to check herself.  Ramona is still Ramona.  I love Heather.  Jacqueline needs to stay awake.  I wish Kathy didn't get a nose job - she didn't need it!  Caroline - preach is sista.  Andy - you are a saint. 

Ok so that's all for now.  One more thing - I'm back on the exercise circuit.  Don’t worry the desk person at the gym gave me a "judgy" look when I checked in yesterday.  You don’t know my life - stand back!

2 Quick Things!

Hello world!  Today is gorgeous out - I only wish I was able to enjoy it and not be in this stupid office all day!  Wahhh!  Ok enough about that.  So 2 things today.  1.  I'd be remiss if I didn't give my input on last night's finale of RHOBH and 2.  Have I discussed my new favorite blog(besides mine)?!

1.  RHOBH
Ok I had mixed feelings about this.  I thought the finale was going to be dramz and angsting and tears galore, but it was really pretty subdued.  They didn't address a lot of issues that I thought they would and 3 of the "main" women were hardly/not even shown. 

Did anyone else think it was odd that Brandi, Kim & Taylor were basically left out of the whole episode?!  Because I sure did!  I know technically Brandi is still "new" and doesn't have that much status yet, but she was a main focus of a lot of what went down this season.  I just thought that was weird.  And where the heck was Kim the whole time?!  Taylor I get - I think the wedding was around the same time as Russell's death, so totally understand.  But Kim didn't go into rehab until like December, right?!  I'm so confused! 

Anyways…Pandora looked gorg and just so happy - so did her new husband.  

I actually got a little teary when Ken gave his speech.  I thought the whole event was breathtaking - just amazing.  I'm just a lil upset that my invite got lost in the mail.  Side note - what is going on with Lisa's son??  They discussed him last season, but not so much this season.  I'd like a status update on him and what he's doing with his life.  Thanks. 

All in all I thought it was a good season.  As much drama and craziness that happens - they still do appear (operative word here is "appear") to be pretty close.  Also last season I really was not a Camille fan - but this season she really made a comeback!  I enjoyed her and I thought she was so nice and dramz free - totally turned around my opinion!

2.  Suri's Burn Book
This is one of the main reasons that I'm so sad that I can no longer look at blogs at work.  However, this is also one of the only ones that I still keep up on - at home!  Whoever writes this is pure genius and I want to meet them/be their friends.  Basically it's a blog written through the eyes of Suri Cruise and it talks all about the other children of Hollywood.  Although I hate her disdain for some of these kids (i.e. Garner-Afflecks, Alba-Warrens, Stefani-Rossdales, etc.), it makes Suri sound like such a lil biznatch - kind of like I'd imagine her to be.  She also takes major offense to ANYTHING the Jolie-Pitt children do.  And the best part is that she also makes fun of her parents - which is hilar.  It's the most ridiculous read I've read in awhile!  Here's one of the latest excerpts:

Jon Voight, grandfather to the Jolie-Pitt brood, told E! News he sees a future for his grandkids in the entertainment industry.
“I don’t want to say, but I have a feeling that they will,” he admitted. “I have no doubt.”First of all, “I don’t want to say” is different from, ahem, saying things. Just like “having a feeling” is different from “having no doubt.” I’m five and I can construct a proper sentence, Mr. Voight.“Hollywood should be afraid of them. These guys are really something.”Oh, I’m afraid of them, all right. But not for the reasons their grandfather suspects. These kids are just so unpredictable and off the rails — you never know what they’re going to do, and that frightens me. As for their talent? Highly doubtful. Unless there’s some market for professional public pajama-wearing that I’m not aware of.

I mean - I die!  Get after reading it NOW!!!

So that's all for today!  Until next time sukkkkahs!  XOXO