It's Going Down...I'm Yelling TINDER!

First off - try to not sing that Ke$ha song for the rest of the day.  

Guys….the other night…I had a DATE!  No no don't get scared - hell is still as hot as ever and hasn't frozen over.  My friend Anna strongly urged/made me join Tinder.  Ugh - yes - Tinder. HOWEVER I've heard from numerous others that they've dated/been on dates with some really great guys, so I figured - what the hell?!  Welp - I had my first "Tindate" the other night…I can't really put into words how I feel about it, so you all can just be the judge.

Back story…he's 39 years old, in finance, decent looking (I mean who am I to judge?!), seemed  a lil funny.  He messaged me right away after we "matched" and we started chatting.  Normal stuff - nothing crazy.  Eventually he asked me to grab drinks and I obliged.  I should also mention that he seemed interested/conscientious - he checked in on me over the long weekend, asked how my trip to Boston was with my fam, etc.  I was really hopeful for this one.  We/I picked a spot and had a plan to meet there at 8 pm.  Now I was really trying to make an effort - I went home after work, re-did  makeup, put on a cute outfit, did my hair - really trying here.  

It was 7:50 pm, so I was literally just walking out the door when I got a message from him:  "Hey,still in the office. I should be there by latest 8:30.  Looking fwd to it." Basically he pretty much knew he was going to be late considering he lives downtown and the bar was uptown and would take him about 20 minutes to get there via subway.  Sooo already I'm annoyed, but I'm really trying here.  Like really trying.  Eventually I left my apt for the bar and we wound up getting there at the same time and had our awkward first encounter.  Phew - that's out of the way!  We sat down and he got me a beer…so I'm still kinda hopeful…so far so good.  Then he opened his mouth…. Annnnnd we're off!  I think the best way for me to recap this is to transcribe (to my best ability) our conversations/date/meeting/torture…

Me:  So you just started a new job, what type of work do you do in finance?
Him:  Do you even know anything about finance?? (condescendingly)
Me:  Well I mean basic, I was a business major, so I know some.
Him:  I work on the zippity zorp of the FGB along side the WPV and the schempes schlemps. …blah blah blah (he pretty much just used only acronyms and phrases that you would know if you worked at his job/at his desk/you were him…clearly things I didn't know)

Me:  (Smile & nod)….
Him:  (No questions about my job)
Me:  So Astoria - what made you move there?  I've heard great things about it, but haven't really been.
Him:  I was living with my ex-girlfriend - NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! And I had to move out and clearly I was going to buy something because I  could, so I looked everywhere and this was the best move.   I mean it's already appreciated in value in the like 3 months I've lived there.  But I had to buy like everything new - like everything.  I mean I had to buy utensils.
Me:  (giggling a bit because that's just that ridiculous) Utensils - huh?  I mean that's kinda called being a grown up.
Him:  Really - like utensils - I had to buy all new ones because I had nothing.
Me:  (changing the subject - or trying to)

**I should also take the time to mention that he was yawning the entire time.  like not little polite, I'm trying to hide how tired I am yawns, like big huge obnoxious yawns.**

Him:  Sorry - I'm just really tired - it's not you.  I have to get into work like super early.  You probably don't even understand how early.  Like I have to get there at like 7:45 am.
Me:  Oh yah I get it, I'm at work around 8:30 am everyday. 
Him:  That's like late compared to 7:45 am.
Me:  (thinking in my head…yah a whole 45 minutes really means a WORLD of difference)
Him:  Oh and I normally drink more.  Right now I'm just kind of off it because of my new job and I'm trying to stay focused.
Me:  Totally understand - I don't really drink much during the weeks and certainly not as much as I used to! (trying to convey that even if he didn't drink at all it really didn't matter to me)
Him:  NO - No I mean I get f*cked up on the weekends.  Like I'm a weekend warrior (yes folks he referred to himself as a "weekend warrior").  I get f*cked up on Friday, get up Saturday, run 5 miles, brunch it up and then get f*cked up again.  (did I mention he's almost 40?!)
Me:  Oh that's fun.

**Then we had a few other stupid conversations mainly about how great he is, etc.  Still yawning the whole time.**

Me:  I mean we can totally go if you're tired, want to head home.  (mind you I haven't even finished my beer).
Him:  Yah sounds good, let's go.

Game over.  Record time of 45 minutes.

Walk home…texting Anna and calling Hazel in Texas to just debrief.  I got home to this message from him:  "I'm sorry I was so lame. I'm usually not like that. I'mentally and physically fatigued, drained."  I just responded (which I shouldn't have even responded looking back) "no worries". 

Cut to me in DC.  Discussing this situation with Hillary & Sydney.  We kinda decided, maybe give him benefit of the doubt if he contacts me again.  I mean he's an ass, but maybe he was just off - who knows.  Saturday morning comes along…8 am…get a message from him.  Sydney and I were screeching a bit - she was like omg I bet he's just checking on you - kinda nice - let's open it.  I open it to find this gem…

"Hey, wanted to ask, did I look like my photos when u met me? Do I need to switch it up? Just curious…"

Soooo many emotions flew - Sydney and I were screaming and yelling and ranting and raving.  Who has the balls and audacity to send me that?!?!?!  I mean really?!  Did you really think that was a good idea??  Don't you have friends you can ask?!  What a D-BAG!!  Or as Anna calls him a "tinderk".

Over it!  

Done and done…on to the next…BTW I'm singing that Jay Z song in my head right now…

I’m on to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

On to the next one

Hold up, freeze

Somebody bring me back some money please…

**Photos from #Whatshouldwecallme and RealityTVGifs**

Bus Wars

Basically if you don’t take public transportation…mainly the bus…you may not sympathize with my situation.  The situation that is the full on bus etiquette war I'm in with another woman at my bus stop. 

So every form of public transportation has it's "rules" and things that people just know about and obey.  You get away with not knowing things maybe your first/second time around.  After that - no chance underpants.  Such things may include (but are not limited to):

• No speakers (ie cell phones, boom boxes, video games, etc.)
• Not sitting directly on top of another person (if and only if there are no other seats available)
• Elderly, disabled, pregnant people allll get first dibs on seats 
• When going on the escalator down to your train, you stand to the right and run to the left (might change depending on the city)

Now those are just a few…however my BIGGEST rule is how you get onto said transportation.  Now in NYC, at a bus stop, there is typically some sort of line.  The first person stands wherever and then everyone else that arrives stands behind them.  Now of course there are times where it's more of a "cluster", in these situations, you normally have an idea of who came when and everyone files in accordingly. 

There is this woman at my stop every morning and seriously - we're in a huge fight.  First let me explain her.  She looks like she has no idea where she is and doesn't know anything, but don't let that fool you - she knows exactly what she's doing!  She always is wearing a longer trench coat.  And my favorite part is her head gear.  I can't even describe.  She has one hat that kinda looks like this (yes it has fur, too):

However, most of the time she wears a scarf around her head, ties it under her chin, and puts a Yankees bucket hat on top.  What?!  Not necessary.  It doesn't even add warmth!!

Now the fights…every day she comes sweeping in on the corner and pretends to not see the 10 other people standing in line.  She cuts to the front EVER SINGLE TIME!!  So the first few times I let her get away with it, now my friend it's on.  Every day we're in a war/battle.  

I now can track the bus on my phone, so when it starts getting close, I position myself to be in front (not cut necessarily, just be in front to box her out).  This morning I shoved myself in front of her, however there was an older woman to my side with a cane, so I obvi let her go ahead of me, she was livid!  Mainly because I almost pushed her over.  

Another time I just pretended I didn't see her "merging" into the line, and I just stayed really close to the guy in front of me not letting her in, she was soooo pissed off.  My blood literally boils when I see her. 

She's not going to get me - not if I can help it!  I don’t even want her seat, I go to the back of the bus (she sits in the front), but it's just the principle of the thing! 

It's officially on biotch…it's on…game over for you and your stupid hat!

Happiest of V-Days!!

Happy Valentine's Day Betches!!  Haha - not sure why I said that - sounded better in my head.  Anywho…hope all your little hearts are filled with love!  I've gotten 5 valentine's today already …who's jealy?!  1 from my dad, one from each of my 3 nephews and 1 from CCK's lil girl!  I mean I don't really think it gets much better than that!  ANNND my day's not even over…so valentine's day = winning. 

In the last 24 hours, however, not all things have been "winning".  I've had a few mishaps along the way and a few things happen that I'd rather not and/or never thought would happen.  Let's discuss…

1.  We got more snow.  Now I know this isn't going to turn into a weather rant, but seriously - Pax you are a biotch.  Along with each of these lovely days, I've developed a routine of how I need to prepare for the elements.  Huge/puffy/long North Face coat (hood up of course), huge scarf, boots (preferably that come to my knee), mittens and earmuffs (that my cousin made for me from an animal of some sort that he hunted…Merry Christmas).  You can picture in your head how attractive and sex-pot-ish I look.   Line forms to the left boys!

2.  With said elements comes this gross disgusting slush.  It's a mixture of garbage, dirt, snow, sleet, rain and ice…beautiful.  And it's cold as a mo-fo…so if you step off that curb into it…usually you're about calf deep and people - it's miserable!  Yesterday, while waiting for the bus, some idiot thought it was fun to drive like a maniac and spray said sludge/water/grossness all over me…knee down…never been more angry.  

And then while walking to work this morning some guy kicked it and it got all over me…it actually hit the 3 inches of my legs that are not covered by some sort of winter gear…tights out lights out for me (did that make sense…again…sounded good in my head).

3.  I got a LinkedIn request from my former landlord in DC.  I immediately texted Sydney who was dying.  Like why me?  Why now?  Just why?!  We used to live in this garden style building, so there were only about 6 units.  He was a lunatic…spoke with an accent thought he was like this Latin lover.  His maintenance guy, Ricky, and him used to fight ALL THE TIME.  And Sydney and I would put the TV on mute and just listen…best arguments ever.  And my favorite one ended like this…screams screams screams (all in another language) then…landlord to Ricky "I luh you".  

What?!  If you all could have seen the looks on our faces...I can't even imagine.  This was amazing and the best thing I ever heard.  Lesson learned...as much as they fought they always had love for each other.  So yah people…we're now LinkedIn - I'm sure he's going to bring me a lot of professional growth.

4.  Is it weird that I kinda heart the trifecta that all go medals in last night's Men's Slopestyle?!  I mean I feel like their combined age might add up to someone I could legally date, but I'm kinda smitten.  They're just arorbs.  And they're pretty bad-ass…those jumps were no joke.  I literally was clenching my blanket  hoping no one would die.

Well I'm off to Boston for the weekend to visit my newbie nephew…couldn't be more excited!  I hope you all have a fabulous Valentine's Day filled with love, laughs & wine (obvi)!!  XOXO

Wacky Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!!!  We're almost through the week kids!  

Last night I went with a friend to Carnegie Hall to see Lena Dunham & David Sedaris.  It was entitled "Along Together At Last".  My friend had an extra ticket, I thought it might be funny, but I didn't really know too much about David Sedaris before going in.  Pretty sure it was phenomenal!  I Had such a good time and the 2 of them were beyond hilarious.

They both did readings from their books that are coming/just came out.  David Sedaris also read an article that he had just written for the New Yorker.  This article was fantastic.  He has the weird side of dark humor completely captured.  I think hearing him read his work is also such an amazing experience, there are certain ways he says things that allows you to just know it's "ok" to laugh at something.    He has a number of books out too, one in particular is next on my list for this time of year - it's called SantalandDiaries in which he talks about his time as an elf at Macy's, green tights and all! 

Lena Dunham was equally as hilarious and amazing.  She has a new book, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, coming out and I seriously can't wait to ready it.  She read a few excerpts and I literally was crying.  She's just so real and seemingly "normal".  Even her stage presence was hilarious - she got on and was like listen I'm probably going to mispronounce words, fumble, etc., but just go with it.  Nothing pretentious or "important" about her!

As a totally different note/discussion…these 3 things happened to me this morning …

1.  On the bus this woman basically runs on with her son (mind you there are not that many people on, so it's not crowded).  Instead of telling the son to just sit down at a normal seat, she lets him run wild and all the way to the back of the bus.  The bus starts going and he basically flies across the aisle into some woman's lap and she, while trying to get to him, slams about 3 people (myself included) with his scooter.  Let's just say thank God the kid still had his helmut on from his epic scooter ride, which I'm sure consisted of 1 block.  Needless to say all of this and the 2 of them went literally 1 stop.  1 stop.  People are insane.

2.  On this same bus ride there was an angry woman who was older.  Every time the bus stopped she thought it was her stop.  Meanwhile - the bus driver does announce stops and he stopped at every avenue (we were going across town).  Oh also - she was getting off at 6^th Avenue (my stop) and this started at 1^st Ave.  Finally it was her shining moment and the bus was at a light, however she knew her stop was approaching, thought the stopped bus (due to said red light) meant she could just get off (not at the actual stop).  She began pushing on the door and yelling "BACK DOOR - I'M TRYING TO GET OFF!!!  BACK DOOR!!!"  Finally I politely said "we're not at the stop yet" and then she gave me a dirty look, the bus got to the stop and she scooted off.

3.  I get to work, get situated and settled.  Just starting my day and I hear this from one of the secretaries that sits outside my office door:  "This God damn list keeps changing like someone's bad underwear!!"

So I'll leave you with that lil gem.  I'm off to my old stomping grounds tomorrow…D to the C-izzle (does that work…no?!  Sorry I embarrassed myself).  I hope you all have fabulous weekends!!

It's Your Lucky Day!!

Just a quick lil story for your entertainment - or maybe pity - I'm not quite sure which. 

I've become involved in Tarte cosmetics (thanks to Ruby!).  The first tinted moisturizer I got is great, but just slightly darker than my normal skin color (but great for when I have a glowing tan - which happens so often).  SOOO I decided to go into Henri Bendels yesterday to just get a lil bit lighter one.  I was short on time, so I literally slow jogged right up to the counter, I was like "hi I have 12 and I think I need 10, sooooo can you just grab that I can pay and be on my way?!"  The sales woman was annoying (had her once before) - insisted on testing things and finally wound up with the one that I told her I wanted from the beginning.  So she goes to grab it, this is after she tried to push another type on me, but I stuck to my guns and then she convinced me that I was making the right choice.  This is how the rest of the experience went…

Woman:  Ohhh ummm yikes….soooo ummm…looks like we're out of 10, but are you sure you don’t want the other one??

Me:  Yah - I mean I think this kind just suits me best, so I guess I'll just have to get it somewhere else.
Woman:  WELLLLLL we just got a shipment in this morning, so let me run downstairs really quick and see - I'm positive there will be some more in those boxes.
Me:  Oh that's great- thanks.
**Cut to 10 minutes later**
Woman:  (as she running at me through the store with 3 huge boxes) IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!!!
Me:  Oh such great news!
**She then proceeds to take out this brush & powder concoction and goes to try it on me. **

Me:  Umm I'm sorry I don’t really have time for this, can I just have the tinted moisturizer and I'll be on my way.
Woman:  OHHH yah so about that - we didn't have it.  BUT I totally think the other one is the best way to go anyway.
Me:  (getting slightly more annoyed as the time passes and now questioning why I'm even here) OK YOUR WERE YELLING HOW IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY SO I FIGURED THAT YOU HAD IT.  FINE JUST GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE.  (oh and I've also been there for 0ver 20 minutes, so I'm getting hella angry now).
Woman: (scurries over to the drawer searching…searching…searching…) Oh shoot (in this pathetic meeke voice)…we're out of that one too.

Me:  (say no words…look of death…storm out).

 

Happy almost Friday everyone!!  I'm heading to Deep Creek Lake with some of my girlies!!  Enjoy the weekends!!  XOXO

 

Racey AC

Soooooo let's break this lil night down. AC was a blast - it was Sydney's bday so things got a lil cray. Before I get into that though, I just wanted to discuss my Friday night situation. I wound up going to a comedy show last minute at Caroline's. And can we talk about how I basically peed my pants. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. There were three comedians…2 openers and then one guy headlined. They were all fantastic and so different and I loved them all. If you ever get a chance to see/hear any of these guys - Josh Rabinowitz & John Mulaney in particular - I highly recommend you do it. Absolutely hilarious.


Ok so onto the next one. I took the train to CCK and then we got to make the drive down to AC together. Great catching up time and so nice to have company on the journey!! We got to Revel. Ummm can we talk about this. It's amazing. Soooo clean (we all know how I feel about that), no smoking, very open/spacious, good restaurants, I could go on. The rooms were also fantastic, beds were comfy and the showers were phenom. We met up with the other girls, had a great lunch at Village Whiskey and started the celebrating! After lunch we got the lay of the land and then CCK and Bessie went home for the night. That's when things started to unravel. Me, Sydney, Hilary & Kit were left to our own devises! We shopped around a little bit and then we grabbed a drink at the bar (one of many). Eventually we made our way back to our room to get ready for the night. Don’t worry I tested the shower & the shower caps - both worked fabulously. After we all got fresh to death we headed to dinner.

Dinner was at Buddakan. It's basically Asian Fusion and it was absolutely amazing. We got a bunch of different things and shared it all. I was so content and pleased. We had a great time at dinner and just had a nice relaxing meal. I know there are a few throughout the country, so I highly recommend it if you have a chance. Then the fun started…our cab ride back was insane. The guy drove like 9000 miles an hour and "Mo Money Mo Problems" came on the radio…we asked to turn it up a lil bit…next thing it's blaring as we're careening down the street. We roll up to our hotel with it blasting and of course stares all around.

Our first stop for the night was a bit aggressive - Ivan Kane’s Royal Jelly Burlesque Nightclub. Now we thought there'd be tables/seats for us. We hadn't even fully digested - I was only on my first round of Tums. HOWEVER, once we got in, we were enamored and the music was just so good. So to paint a picture it's this darkish room and in the center/on the ceiling are basically runways for girls to walk around/dance/be weird/wear nude colored unitards.

It was nuts. There was also a guy who pretended he was Snoop Dogg (or should I say Snoop Lion) and I honestly think he really believed he was. The people watching was just beyond. After awhile, we were all having trouble standing due to feet/heels to high/issues. Right before we were getting ready to go a girl who was totally out of control came crashing down on my foot (with her heels) and then proceeded to spill her beer down my jeans…so that was basically final straw and a sign for us to leave (ps - my foot is basically purple from my toes to my ankle...I wasn't even trying to be dramatic!). With that Sydney literally threw her whole drink (glass and all) in the garbage and the signature move came out…her yelling "Lizzie" while swinging her arm in the air in a circular motion…round 'em up style if you will.

So we ran back to the room to all change into our flats. God we're so old. But you know what - best decision we made all day. Proper foot wear is always a must…as Sydney's mother so often tells me. Then we were off again and headed to the next bar, Social. This was our jam. There was a band playing, Garden State Radio Band - ummmm they were amazing. Like I want to see them daily kind of amazing. They were such a phenom cover band. They played everything from oldies to top hits and were soooo good. If you can see them - I'd do it. So basically I was in my glory dancing up a storm with Kit. I look over and this guy is just awkwardly sidling up to me and kinda dancing around me/with me/not really/I had no idea what was going on. Kit literally burst out laughing and says "I think your friend wants to talk to you". So after a few more awkward encounters I finally started the conversation and I kid you not this was how it went…

Me: Hi, I'm Lizzie.
Him: Oh right yah I'm Tom.
Awkward silence
Him: So do you come here often?
Me: Um not really, first time here, having fun, it's a great place (rambling to fill the silence).
Him: Sooo how old are you?
Me: I'm 32.
Him: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (Mouth open widely, eyes like popping out of his head). NOOOOOOO WAAAAYYYYY. You DO NOT LOOK 32…I'd say 25 tops - and I'm not even trying to flatter you.

Me: (feeling ever so comfortable with my age) Ummm well that's quite the reaction, how old are you?

Him: I’m 23. Where do you live?
Me: NYC, you?
Him: In Little Ferry with my parents, but it's only like 20 minutes from the city.
Me: Yup, I know the town.
Him: Soooo I mean yah, sooooo like ummmm, like ummmm, what are you looking for?

Me: Excuse me?

Him: Like what are you looking for? I mean do you wannna….

Me: Well lets just stop right there. (thinking - am I being like propositioned?? Like am I a hooker?!) I think I'm gonna just go with my friends (and I grabbed Kit and walked away).

Like why is this the only guy that spoke to me the whole trip?! Sydney and I even made a pact that we were supposed to find brothers that we could marry and this was the fool that I attracted?? Anywho….we continued to dance and drink and sing and just have a fabulous time. After awhile we went out to the casino and gambled a bit. I threw down $20 on roulette and lost in about 2.2 seconds. The only game that I thought was profitable were the slots - Sydney and I played "Grease" and basically won big. We were sitting there and all of a sudden both our machines started going off, flashing, loud noises. We didn't even know what was going on. But I won $60 and she won $100 - amazing! We finally decided to call it a night, grabbed some food and went to bed. Don't worry - it was 4 am. The old hags made it till 4 am!!

The next day we slowly got ourselves together. I had to catch the bus. It was heinous. It's not so much the bus/the ride it's who sits next to you. Literally this guy getting on, I saw him in line and he looked like the biggest creeper ever. like ever. he walks onto the bus, takes a look around and of course decides to sit next to me. He then proceeds to basically come into my seat and grossly sleep - ewww I'm sceeved out just thinking about it. I hate the flashbacks.

Soooo there you have it. And then I got home…ordered food…watched the Oscars and became increasingly more depressed that it was Sunday night…my trip was over…and I had to work the next day!!

An Angry Lil Day

Soooo I'm an cranky lil duck today!! This has just not been my day - actually started with last night when I got home. Let me break this down for you:


Last evening: Got home from my acupuncture appointment, totally excited I had my mom's homemade soup to eat for dinner. Oh I also had a migraine so I wasn't feeling myself. Heated it up ate/licked the bowl so delish. Angry because I wanted more. Starving. Nothing in my house to eat because I haven't had time to go to the grocery store. So mad. Didn't really sleep that well.

7:30 am: Wake up/just get up since I've been awake for awhile. Groggily go to the bathroom turn on the shower. Confused. Nothing is coming out. Turn on faucet. Confused. Nothing is coming out. Go to the bathroom - realize I can't flush the toilet. Umm I have no water - AT ALL!!! Angry. I throw on clothes to go down to talk to the doorman to see what is going on. Elevator opens - there's a sign in the elevator that reads in the handwriting of a small child: NO WATER. WATER TANK EMERGENCY. FIXING ASAP.

So that's that. Go back - don't shower. Oh and did I mention I got my period this morning?! TMI - sorry - I'm cranky! So I'm not feeling good on all fronts! Throw on clothes and I'm off to work.

8:30 am: Get to work - my secretary tells me I have a run in my stocking. IMMEDIATE anger. I paid so much money for these I'm embarrassed. But I got them on Friends & Family at Bloomies and they're the Commando brand - obsessed. But they're like $30/pair (less with F&F). SOOO this is the first time I've worn them and now they're done. Soooo much anger.

9:00 am: This guy I'm supposed to get set up for a video conference with another office is late - causing a situation. Putting out fires. He finally arrives at 9:15 am. Awesome.

11:15 am: Called a spa for a gift for my sister in law (they claim to be having 15% off all gift certificates). Get this woman on the phone who informs me that it's such an amazing deal and you only have to spend $200. I was like ummm what?! There is no mention of this ever anywhere and I'm not spending $200. This is blasphemous!! Angry.

11:35 am: Called Proactiv to cancel my subscription/membership since they took it upon themselves to charge my credit card $40 just because they felt like it and I didn't give them permission. Get this loon on the phone that tells me ok great they'll cancel after about 5 minutes of trying to persuade me, blah blah blah. Then informs me that my card will only be charged an additional $100 because I'm in this "3 month installment".

SO MUCH RAGE/ANGER. I never signed up for this and now I'm being charged all this money?! Blood pressure rising even just typing this!! There may or may not have been some yelling. I cancelled my life with them and now have to send this stupid thing back (at my own expense) to get them to stop charging my card!! INSANE!!

11:50 am: Just trying to take deep breathes and settle myself down.

12:45 pm: In H&M trying to pick up a cute lil number for an upcoming weekend jaunt. Don’t' have my size in practically anything I wanted - however I was able to find a few thigns worth bringing trying on and most likely returning. Get on line. There are about 15 people "working" and only one poor guy running the register. The others are just hanging out. The line is insane waited for awhile and then just went to another floor.

1:07 pm: Go to grab a wrap - excited because I haven't had one in awhile. Don’t worry they don't have avocado wahhhhhhhh!

1:12 pm: Go to get my Powerball ticket - the guy gives me the wrong thing and I literally almost burst into tears.

This. Day. And now I have to go to a doctor's appointment that is always like 3 hours behind schedule. The only thing getting me through is that I know I'm seeing CCK for dinner tonight!! A fun last minute surprise and I couldn't be more excited!!

Some Housekeeping Items

Ok so a few quick things that need to be discussed…

1.  I saw  "Pitch Perfect" and I'm completely obsessed.  Here are some takeaways:

- I want to marry the lead actor/character - his name is Skylar Astin.  

I've never really seen him before this, apparently he had a cameo on "Girls" (HBO).  Umm it's not normal how obsessed I am with him - I'm like a love struck teen.  And it's not even like he's the hottest thing around - his personality in this movie is just perfect.

- I love Rebel Wilson.  

She is a comedic genius and is really going places.  I think she's completely hilar and I want to be her friend.

- I awkwardly admitted afterwards that I wanted to watch it again and write down all the songs they performed so I can go buy the ones I don’t have.  It was like a blast from the past that I thoroughly enjoyed.

- I can't wait to see this again.  I need to watch a second time to capture things that I missed while I was laughing.

- Why are you still reading this and not running to your theatre to see it?!

2.  Is it weird that I didn't watch the debates last night (expect 10 minutes) and instead thought that "Giuliana & Bill" would be more important?!  I’m kinda over all this political stuff - I just want November to be here so I don’t have to deal anymore!  I mean you all know I'm overly obsessed with America - but all this back and forth and lying/not lying craziness is driving me nuts!

3.  My sister is getting married next weekend!!  AHHHHH!!! I can't believe it's almost here!!  I have a backless dress (I know major scandy) and I'm thinking of wearing my hair like so…how do we feel about it??

4.  I had another annoying "people don’t understand special issues" the other day.  I was on the bus and there were open seats everywhere.  I sat down on the end seat, so there were 2 seats to my right.  This woman gets on and sits directly next to me.  And then puts her bag on the seat next to her.  

Umm really?!  Why are you on top of me?!?!  I was like heavy breathing mad.

5.  The Real Housewives reunions were hella nuts!  NJ and NY are two of my faves and both just wrapped this past week.  I don’t even know where to go!  All I can say is - omg Joe Gorga was a stripper - dying.  Teresa needs to check herself.  Ramona is still Ramona.  I love Heather.  Jacqueline needs to stay awake.  I wish Kathy didn't get a nose job - she didn't need it!  Caroline - preach is sista.  Andy - you are a saint. 

Ok so that's all for now.  One more thing - I'm back on the exercise circuit.  Don’t worry the desk person at the gym gave me a "judgy" look when I checked in yesterday.  You don’t know my life - stand back!

Who Said It's My Birthday?!

So in trying to keep up with my promise...here's today's post about me not wanting my birthday to arrive.  Tomorrow is my birthday - bleh. 

I'm going to be Double Sweet Sixteen.  I'm normally not the girl that gets totally hyped about birthdays - but generally I'll do a lil something.  But this year - nothing.  It's going to rain tomorrow and I'm already just not excited.  There's no one around to go grab drinks.  SO next week I'm going to do a lil joint thing, but as for tomorrow - maybe a lil mani/pedi action is in store.  Maybe some takeout and a movie - I don't know - sky's the limit I suppose.  I'll check in tomorrow and let you know my status.  AKA if I haven't left my house and I'm in my PJ's with my head in the freezer searching for ice-cream.  Not trying to be all Debbie Downer but to sum it up...



Ummm...No Thank You

So let's discuss what happened to me today.  I went to this place called Dishes for my salad at lunch.  It's a great place if you live in NYC - salads are fab and the food is always fresh/good.  I got my salad, went to pay, asked for an iced tea.  They told me to pick it up on the other side of the counter.  It was jam packed.  So I walked over, was waiting and being awkward (shocking) as others tried to get around me. Finally it came I had to reach to get it and the guy behind me kindly helped a sister out.  I thought - well that was nice and proceeded to walk outside.  Next thing I know he's standing next to me at the cross walk and begins to ask me like 20 questions (what do you do, what are you eating for lunch, how do you like your job, etc.).  I was trying to be nice and friendly - but I really wasn't in the mood.  Eventually the light turned and we had to walk across the street together.  Again I was being nice and praying that we didn't have to continue this for the next like 4 blocks.  So I started going left and I could see he thought about following suit, but then was going right and yelled out "can I buy you a drink sometime" - I politely replied - "no thank you" head down and walked the other way. 

SOOOO here's the thing.  1. I'm incredibly awkward when it comes to situations like this.  2.  The whole way back to my office I thought - did I really do the right thing??  3.  Beggars can't be choosers HOWEVER I feel like I also thought it was pretty bizarre.  4.  I was reassured by 2 friends that I did in fact make the right decision considering he looked to be 40+ years old, had an accent I couldn't understand and I swear to GOD resembled Larry from the 3 Stooges.

So I'll leave you with that image.  Thank you and Good Night!  XOXO