Party Bus In The House Tonight

Guys this past weekend = Sydney's Birthday Bonanza = Success!!

I went down to DC on Friday morning to attend this blissful event - thankfully it was an uneventful train ride.  I couldn't wait to get there!!  We were extremely mature on Friday night and we just went for a very casual dinner with Hillary, home watching programs by 10 pm.  Saturday was not so much in the maturity department. 

Amy rolled into town at the delightful hour of 9 am.  She caught a grossly early flight out of Boston to come to Sydney's bday!  We decided it was in our best interest to get a nice big breakfast, so off to IHOP we went.  Our server's name was Saba and Sydney kept referring to her as "Saba the Hut", so you can imagine that our day was off and running. 

Hillary, Ruby and others started arriving at Sydney's around 11 am and that's when it allllll began.  Bottles popped and drinks flowed.  And then the best part…our party bus rolled on up!!  Yes folks, that's right, we rented a party bus to take us to Annapolis for the day for a lil pub crawl.  Why you ask…simple…we're just that mature!  Is it not normal for a group of 30+ year old women to roll onto a bus filled with alcohol and drive about?! 

Sampson was our driver and he was great.  He obliged our pictures, loud music and overall raucous behavior like a champ!  One of Sydney's co-workers made up this whole spy themed scavenger hunt and it was amaze!  She did such a great job - we even got goody bags!! 

We finally rolled into Annapolis like we owned the joint.

First stop...Pussers.  Yup there's an actual bar called Pussers.  Prob one of the most disgusting names of a place I could think of, but you know, it was great.  We sat outside on the water, drank these things called Pain Killers (hard to swallow at first, then they went down pretty easy!), it was great.  And luckily it was a gorg day - such a tease - but that's another story!  After that we went to 2 other bars, grabbed more drinks and some amaze seafood.  We just really had the best time.  I had so much fun with the girls, there were 10 of us total and it was just perfect.  Everyone was soooo fun and the ride back was more eventful!

We eventually got on the bus, it seemed like we were only there for like an hour, but it was really 4!  That's when things began to go south.  And by south I mean everyone was pretty drunk.  Did I mention there was a stripper pole on the bus??  Because there was.  Did I also mention we brought a bunch of snacks…because somehow most of them managed to be spilled on the floor and became a mushy, gross, disgusting situation.  One of the girls tried to go on the pole, fell to her knees and was covered in goldfish sludge.  Which, side note, she couldn't figure out afterwards why it was like that, like she had bright orange goo on her jeans and she was just like - welp that happened and went out for the night.  

Amazing.  I literally almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard.  

The best part of the whole day, to me at least, I think really sums up our whole experience.  Sydney and I were getting off the bus (at the end when we got back to her apartment) and she looks back at me and this was our exchange:

Sydney:  Ummmm Lizzie where's my purse??  I can't find my bag.  Should I be concerned??
Me:  I mean I'm sure it's around here somewhere - you had it when we got on, right??
Sydney:  I think so.  I mean who knows - I guess it's not a big deal.
Me:  Let's look around (look around to a disgusting mess, bag no where in sight).
Sydney:  Ohhh here it is!  (Reaches into the trash can - yup the trash can - and pulls out her Kate Spade as if it was totally normal)
Me:  Nodding (agreeing that it seemed totally normal)...

We then proceed to go out to dinner and stay out until midnight, at least that's when Amy and I called it a night, Ruby & Sydney rolled in around 3 am.  How - no clue?!  Sunday we all felt amazing - Sydney Uber'd Amy & I a car because she was pretty sure  she'd get a DUI if she tried to drive us anywhere. 

It was just such a delightful weekend.  I love seeing my girlfriends and missed the ones that couldn't make it.  I'm a lucky girl…I have the best most fun most amazing friends a girl could ask for!  Ok - sorry that started to get a lil mushy - I've been all sentimental about these fools lately!!  I'll stop now.  

Happiest of V-Days!!

Happy Valentine's Day Betches!!  Haha - not sure why I said that - sounded better in my head.  Anywho…hope all your little hearts are filled with love!  I've gotten 5 valentine's today already …who's jealy?!  1 from my dad, one from each of my 3 nephews and 1 from CCK's lil girl!  I mean I don't really think it gets much better than that!  ANNND my day's not even over…so valentine's day = winning. 

In the last 24 hours, however, not all things have been "winning".  I've had a few mishaps along the way and a few things happen that I'd rather not and/or never thought would happen.  Let's discuss…

1.  We got more snow.  Now I know this isn't going to turn into a weather rant, but seriously - Pax you are a biotch.  Along with each of these lovely days, I've developed a routine of how I need to prepare for the elements.  Huge/puffy/long North Face coat (hood up of course), huge scarf, boots (preferably that come to my knee), mittens and earmuffs (that my cousin made for me from an animal of some sort that he hunted…Merry Christmas).  You can picture in your head how attractive and sex-pot-ish I look.   Line forms to the left boys!

2.  With said elements comes this gross disgusting slush.  It's a mixture of garbage, dirt, snow, sleet, rain and ice…beautiful.  And it's cold as a mo-fo…so if you step off that curb into it…usually you're about calf deep and people - it's miserable!  Yesterday, while waiting for the bus, some idiot thought it was fun to drive like a maniac and spray said sludge/water/grossness all over me…knee down…never been more angry.  

And then while walking to work this morning some guy kicked it and it got all over me…it actually hit the 3 inches of my legs that are not covered by some sort of winter gear…tights out lights out for me (did that make sense…again…sounded good in my head).

3.  I got a LinkedIn request from my former landlord in DC.  I immediately texted Sydney who was dying.  Like why me?  Why now?  Just why?!  We used to live in this garden style building, so there were only about 6 units.  He was a lunatic…spoke with an accent thought he was like this Latin lover.  His maintenance guy, Ricky, and him used to fight ALL THE TIME.  And Sydney and I would put the TV on mute and just listen…best arguments ever.  And my favorite one ended like this…screams screams screams (all in another language) then…landlord to Ricky "I luh you".  

What?!  If you all could have seen the looks on our faces...I can't even imagine.  This was amazing and the best thing I ever heard.  Lesson learned...as much as they fought they always had love for each other.  So yah people…we're now LinkedIn - I'm sure he's going to bring me a lot of professional growth.

4.  Is it weird that I kinda heart the trifecta that all go medals in last night's Men's Slopestyle?!  I mean I feel like their combined age might add up to someone I could legally date, but I'm kinda smitten.  They're just arorbs.  And they're pretty bad-ass…those jumps were no joke.  I literally was clenching my blanket  hoping no one would die.

Well I'm off to Boston for the weekend to visit my newbie nephew…couldn't be more excited!  I hope you all have a fabulous Valentine's Day filled with love, laughs & wine (obvi)!!  XOXO

Obsession Thursday...Is This A Thing?!

So I have a new-ish obsession.  Actually I have a few…so maybe I'll just grace you all with them!!  It's been a lil while, and my apologies, BUT…you know what…I won't even give you an excuse.  There are none.  Just the usual suspects - so I'll spare you.  Onto "Obsession Thursday" - yep - just made that one up - if you guys like it - I'll stick with it!!

1.  World of Jenks.  Ok so this isn't really "new" per se, but it was new to me this season. 

The season just ended and I'm already in withdrawal.  It's MTV at its finest.  Sydney and I are beyond enamored.  Basically this guy, Andrew Jenks (who I may or may not want to marry) follows 3 different people around for a year and documents their lives/struggles.  I also may or may not have tweeted @AndrewJenks and I'm desprerately waiting for a reply...nbd.  It's soooo good and I highly recommend you all getting involved! 

2.  Face Stuff.  So my sister actually turned me on to this product line.  It's Aveda, which I normally don’t use, but I'm actually really liking it.  It's thier "Outer Peace" line. 

I wound up getting the whole set, because it just made more sense economically, but it is slightly $$.  I think it's worth it thought - so give it a try if you're looking for something new/makes you feel really clean.

3.  Kiehl's.  Again - nothing really "new", but I have 2 new products that I'm totally hearting.  Ultra Facial Moisturizer with 30 SPF and Amino Acid Shampoo. 

The moisturizer is especially good with the summer coming up!  I can't stress enough how important sunscreen is!!  I'm not trying to go all "mom" on you, but PLEASE slather some on before you go outside.  This makes it soooo easy, all you have to do is moisturize (which you should do every morning anyway)!  And the shampoo smells delightful and leaves my hair shiny, bouncy & all together amazing.

4.  Iced Coffee.  That time of year again!!  Loving a big 'ole iced coffee with milk! 

I more recently (over the past year) forced myself off of adding any extra "sugar" or chemical to my coffee.  If you can stomach it - I highly recommend it!! 

5.  Kale & Spinach.  At first they taste like paper shreddings (especially the kale), BUT I've actually grown to like them.  And there's a salad place around here that has kale & cabbage as the "base" and might I add that it's delightful, especially with everything added in.  I made myself (I've apparently been doing a lot of that lately) try it instead of my usually romaine and I've been able to stick to it!  And actually - I've been liking it!  Who knew?!

 

 

Ok - so that's it for now!  I hope all my OK readers and doing alright - my thoughts and prayers are with you all.  Just reminds you how precious life really is - take time EVERY day to tell people you love them and show them how much they mean to you.  XOXO



Racey AC

Soooooo let's break this lil night down. AC was a blast - it was Sydney's bday so things got a lil cray. Before I get into that though, I just wanted to discuss my Friday night situation. I wound up going to a comedy show last minute at Caroline's. And can we talk about how I basically peed my pants. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. There were three comedians…2 openers and then one guy headlined. They were all fantastic and so different and I loved them all. If you ever get a chance to see/hear any of these guys - Josh Rabinowitz & John Mulaney in particular - I highly recommend you do it. Absolutely hilarious.


Ok so onto the next one. I took the train to CCK and then we got to make the drive down to AC together. Great catching up time and so nice to have company on the journey!! We got to Revel. Ummm can we talk about this. It's amazing. Soooo clean (we all know how I feel about that), no smoking, very open/spacious, good restaurants, I could go on. The rooms were also fantastic, beds were comfy and the showers were phenom. We met up with the other girls, had a great lunch at Village Whiskey and started the celebrating! After lunch we got the lay of the land and then CCK and Bessie went home for the night. That's when things started to unravel. Me, Sydney, Hilary & Kit were left to our own devises! We shopped around a little bit and then we grabbed a drink at the bar (one of many). Eventually we made our way back to our room to get ready for the night. Don’t worry I tested the shower & the shower caps - both worked fabulously. After we all got fresh to death we headed to dinner.

Dinner was at Buddakan. It's basically Asian Fusion and it was absolutely amazing. We got a bunch of different things and shared it all. I was so content and pleased. We had a great time at dinner and just had a nice relaxing meal. I know there are a few throughout the country, so I highly recommend it if you have a chance. Then the fun started…our cab ride back was insane. The guy drove like 9000 miles an hour and "Mo Money Mo Problems" came on the radio…we asked to turn it up a lil bit…next thing it's blaring as we're careening down the street. We roll up to our hotel with it blasting and of course stares all around.

Our first stop for the night was a bit aggressive - Ivan Kane’s Royal Jelly Burlesque Nightclub. Now we thought there'd be tables/seats for us. We hadn't even fully digested - I was only on my first round of Tums. HOWEVER, once we got in, we were enamored and the music was just so good. So to paint a picture it's this darkish room and in the center/on the ceiling are basically runways for girls to walk around/dance/be weird/wear nude colored unitards.

It was nuts. There was also a guy who pretended he was Snoop Dogg (or should I say Snoop Lion) and I honestly think he really believed he was. The people watching was just beyond. After awhile, we were all having trouble standing due to feet/heels to high/issues. Right before we were getting ready to go a girl who was totally out of control came crashing down on my foot (with her heels) and then proceeded to spill her beer down my jeans…so that was basically final straw and a sign for us to leave (ps - my foot is basically purple from my toes to my ankle...I wasn't even trying to be dramatic!). With that Sydney literally threw her whole drink (glass and all) in the garbage and the signature move came out…her yelling "Lizzie" while swinging her arm in the air in a circular motion…round 'em up style if you will.

So we ran back to the room to all change into our flats. God we're so old. But you know what - best decision we made all day. Proper foot wear is always a must…as Sydney's mother so often tells me. Then we were off again and headed to the next bar, Social. This was our jam. There was a band playing, Garden State Radio Band - ummmm they were amazing. Like I want to see them daily kind of amazing. They were such a phenom cover band. They played everything from oldies to top hits and were soooo good. If you can see them - I'd do it. So basically I was in my glory dancing up a storm with Kit. I look over and this guy is just awkwardly sidling up to me and kinda dancing around me/with me/not really/I had no idea what was going on. Kit literally burst out laughing and says "I think your friend wants to talk to you". So after a few more awkward encounters I finally started the conversation and I kid you not this was how it went…

Me: Hi, I'm Lizzie.
Him: Oh right yah I'm Tom.
Awkward silence
Him: So do you come here often?
Me: Um not really, first time here, having fun, it's a great place (rambling to fill the silence).
Him: Sooo how old are you?
Me: I'm 32.
Him: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (Mouth open widely, eyes like popping out of his head). NOOOOOOO WAAAAYYYYY. You DO NOT LOOK 32…I'd say 25 tops - and I'm not even trying to flatter you.

Me: (feeling ever so comfortable with my age) Ummm well that's quite the reaction, how old are you?

Him: I’m 23. Where do you live?
Me: NYC, you?
Him: In Little Ferry with my parents, but it's only like 20 minutes from the city.
Me: Yup, I know the town.
Him: Soooo I mean yah, sooooo like ummmm, like ummmm, what are you looking for?

Me: Excuse me?

Him: Like what are you looking for? I mean do you wannna….

Me: Well lets just stop right there. (thinking - am I being like propositioned?? Like am I a hooker?!) I think I'm gonna just go with my friends (and I grabbed Kit and walked away).

Like why is this the only guy that spoke to me the whole trip?! Sydney and I even made a pact that we were supposed to find brothers that we could marry and this was the fool that I attracted?? Anywho….we continued to dance and drink and sing and just have a fabulous time. After awhile we went out to the casino and gambled a bit. I threw down $20 on roulette and lost in about 2.2 seconds. The only game that I thought was profitable were the slots - Sydney and I played "Grease" and basically won big. We were sitting there and all of a sudden both our machines started going off, flashing, loud noises. We didn't even know what was going on. But I won $60 and she won $100 - amazing! We finally decided to call it a night, grabbed some food and went to bed. Don't worry - it was 4 am. The old hags made it till 4 am!!

The next day we slowly got ourselves together. I had to catch the bus. It was heinous. It's not so much the bus/the ride it's who sits next to you. Literally this guy getting on, I saw him in line and he looked like the biggest creeper ever. like ever. he walks onto the bus, takes a look around and of course decides to sit next to me. He then proceeds to basically come into my seat and grossly sleep - ewww I'm sceeved out just thinking about it. I hate the flashbacks.

Soooo there you have it. And then I got home…ordered food…watched the Oscars and became increasingly more depressed that it was Sunday night…my trip was over…and I had to work the next day!!

To The Dance Floor

This is one of my all time favorite stories.  Every time I think of it, I can’t help but giggle.  It all began in beautiful Charlottesville, VA.

I had entered a half marathon in Charlottesville and my two friends, Ruby & Sydney, were kind enough to join me and cheer me on while I ran.  Since it was about 3 hours away from DC, we decided to make a weekend of it.  We drove down Friday after work, another epic road trip.  We got into town and went straight to check me into the race.  While checking in, this woman decides to go on and on about how ridiculously hard this course was and kept talking about this ginormous hill, called Old Garth Hill and how it’s just insane and she hoped I trained on hills.  I laughed awkwardly, while thinking to myself that maybe I should just skip the race and head back home.  I had trained and worked hard, but on FLAT LAND!  I didn’t really have many hills where I lived, so I did what I could.  I just hoped I’d make it.   We left there, grabbed dinner and headed to our luxurious hotel.  And by luxurious I mean not at all.

The next morning was the big race!  I had to be at the start line at 6 am.  Sydney & Ruby drove me there and insisted on “pumping me up” on the way over, therefore they blared “Crazy Bitch” with the windows down.  The got me set up and all ready, I even got interviewed by the local news!  Amazing – but pretty sure that got left on the cutting room floor.  So they stood on the sidelines and the gun went off – I was in it now!  I ran the race – that hill was absolutely awful and I came around the corner to the finish line and there were Ruby & Sydney waiting for me – cheering me on the rest of the way!  I crossed and was so relieved that I made it – and I even beat my time!  I found the girls and they told me about their morning, they left the race after I had started, went to McDonalds and then ordered a few things from QVC.  After about 2 hours, they came back just in time!

We decided to head to brunch after, which was delish.  After brunch Ruby decided that she needed a haircut/eyebrow waxing.  She went to this random salon and came back, luckily WITH eyebrows, but her hair was all jacked up.  Thank God she had ordered her Wen hair care products on QVC that morning! 

So after we all took our naps, we thought heading to a winery was in order!  We needed to go out and celebrate!  The place was great, we had a tasting and then just sat outside with a bottle of wine and a wheel of cheese – I couldn’t have been happier!  After we were done with that, we had an interesting cab ride to dinner.  Our cab driver was quite entertaining.  He informed us all about (and we had to hear the story 5 times), how in high school he almost made the pros – but he missed the last shot of his school basketball tournament.  But you have to understand that this man was about 40, so he was really hanging on to this incident. 

We went to dinner and had a great time then decided to go to a local bar.  There we decided to that it only made sense to start getting pitchers of Blue Moon – totally normal.  So that was that.  When we had enough there, we were ready for some dancing!  We had seen the local college “dance club” the night before, so we figured it made sense to go – I mean we’d totally be able to fit in.  So we headed over.  We walked in and immediately got ourselves a few beers.  While we were standing by the bar, trying to get the lay of the land, we hear one of our throw back songs come on.  Oh I should mention that it was 80s night and we were prob the only people in there that could actually say they lived in the 80s.  All of sudden we hear “The Right Stuff” come booming over the speakers, Ruby got so excited turned around, looked at us and yelled, “TO THE DANCE FLOOR” – Sydney and I were closely behind when all of a sudden Ruby trips (she didn’t realize there was a step up to the “dance floor”) and flies across the floor!  All these college kids are just staring at her and Sydney and I go rushing over.  She’s lying there, can’t move, but don’t worry, she didn’t lose ONE DROP of her beer!  We pick her up and try to see if she’s ok.  We bring her into the bathroom and realize that she can’t really move her wrist.  So we danced to a few songs and then called it a night.  Of course on the way back to the hotel we needed to stop for pizza.

The next morning Ruby could barely move her arm.  I actually had to dress her, good thing we’re such good friends!  She eventually had to go to the doctor, but luckily it was just a bad sprain.  I figured out of all of us, I’d be the one coming home injured, but that’s just how we roll in our group – you just never know! 

Moral of the story – be careful when you hear a “classic song” – make sure you know where the dance floor is before you go full speed ahead!  And now…TO THE DANCE FLOOR!

Ode to Sydney

My dear old friend Sydney has recently turned the big 3-0.  And I can say "dear old friend" because I'm already old and 30.  Therefore, I thought that there would be no better way to welcome her into her 3^rd decade, than to share a few fun moments we’ve/she has had.  To celebrate this milestone, 10 of us are headed down to Atlantic City for a night of festivities – so I’ll be sure to rehash all our shenanigans on Monday’s post!

A few “Sydney-isms” (words/phrases that she has coined):

-         The morning after a friend’s party:

Friend:  I think we’re going to be heading out soon

Sydney:  And so are all of we

-          I walked into her room to crawl into bed with her after a rough night and she barely lifted her head off the pillow and squeaked out:

“I don’t want to die like this.  I have so much more I want to accomplish.“

-       “Sweet Sweet” – this refers to our favorite hung over diner in DC – The Tasty Diner.

-       “Sad Spice” – or basically any other adjectives in front of “Spice”.

-       “You’re driving like a vagina at the town hall” – she likes to yell this at other drivers – in particular on Rt. 95 and the Beltway.

-         She always has the BEST one liners – like “what are we on a duck tour” (in response to the way one of my ex-bf’s walked) and “follow me to fun” and one of my all time favs “18 to party, 21 to DRINK”.  I mean the list really goes on and on!

-         She refers to her mother as a variety of nicknames, including, but not limited to, “Twisted Sister”, “B-Diddy”, “Narnia”, “Red Headed Slut”, and “Sister Sledge”.

A few short stories:

-         Sydney used to shade out and run away after we’d have a night out.  She would apparently want to go home, but instead of telling one of us – she’s just bolt out the door and start her jog home – totally normal.  So for her 21^st birthday, we decided that it made sense to buy her a leash.  It was a pink leash that we made her wear so she’d stay in our sight at all times.  From time to time we still have to break it out – although she has gotten a lil better about not running!

-         After one of our sorority formals, we had all had just a tad too much.  Sydney decided her night was done and took off.  All she remembers is being on all fours in the back lot of this restaurant (that was not at all close to her dorm) with a bag of Doritos (that she has no clue where she found them) and her knees were bleeding.  Needless to say she woke up the next morning with ripped stockings, blood crusted knees, and hugging her bag of Doritos. 

-         While we lived together in DC, Sydney and I came down with an AWFUL case of food poisoning – at the same time!  And we had ONE bathroom.  WORST!!!  So we had to take turns (mind you we both should have been in the hospital).  We wound up having to call each other from our rooms and make sure the other wasn’t in the bathroom before we made the “trek” there – that’s how sick we both were!  Not a fun time!

-         I’ll leave you with this last story – I could go on for days – but I just don’t have time – I need to pack!  We were in AC for our friend CCK’s bach party.  We decided that we’d both put in money to a “house account” and play a lil roulette to try to make us some money!  We lost most of it instantly, but still had a lil left.  I came down with a migraine (womp womp) and had to go back to the hotel early.  So you can imagine my excitement when I got woken up at 5:30 am to Sydney crawling into my bed yelling, “we’re rich, we’re freaking rich – I made us sooo much money you don’t even know”.  So I got so excited and we were discussing what we were gonna spend it on and how great it was and then we both went to sleep.  So we woke up at like 9 am and she was a disaster, so hung over, and if I remember correctly, had a sprained wrist.  I shot up out of bed and was immediately yelling about our winnings.  She got really excited and ran to her bag to get it out.  She then discovered that her “big win” was a whoping 3 cents!  Yes that’s right – she only had 3 cents in her bag!  3 pennies!  Our dreams of Porches and Louboutins went out the window – quicker than you’ll ever know!

Basically these stories/thoughts are just a drop in the bucket.  I’ve clocked a lot of hours with Sydney and we’ve shared a lot of good times and bad times, happy and sad.  And after all that time, she still manages to crack me up until I wet my pants.  I’m looking forward to a night in AC and a few more good stories/one liners from this weekend…and many more to come!  And for those of you that know & love Sydney and would like to share your own stories, feel free to comment!

Happy Dirty 30, Sydney!!