Party Bus In The House Tonight

Guys this past weekend = Sydney's Birthday Bonanza = Success!!

I went down to DC on Friday morning to attend this blissful event - thankfully it was an uneventful train ride.  I couldn't wait to get there!!  We were extremely mature on Friday night and we just went for a very casual dinner with Hillary, home watching programs by 10 pm.  Saturday was not so much in the maturity department. 

Amy rolled into town at the delightful hour of 9 am.  She caught a grossly early flight out of Boston to come to Sydney's bday!  We decided it was in our best interest to get a nice big breakfast, so off to IHOP we went.  Our server's name was Saba and Sydney kept referring to her as "Saba the Hut", so you can imagine that our day was off and running. 

Hillary, Ruby and others started arriving at Sydney's around 11 am and that's when it allllll began.  Bottles popped and drinks flowed.  And then the best part…our party bus rolled on up!!  Yes folks, that's right, we rented a party bus to take us to Annapolis for the day for a lil pub crawl.  Why you ask…simple…we're just that mature!  Is it not normal for a group of 30+ year old women to roll onto a bus filled with alcohol and drive about?! 

Sampson was our driver and he was great.  He obliged our pictures, loud music and overall raucous behavior like a champ!  One of Sydney's co-workers made up this whole spy themed scavenger hunt and it was amaze!  She did such a great job - we even got goody bags!! 

We finally rolled into Annapolis like we owned the joint.

First stop...Pussers.  Yup there's an actual bar called Pussers.  Prob one of the most disgusting names of a place I could think of, but you know, it was great.  We sat outside on the water, drank these things called Pain Killers (hard to swallow at first, then they went down pretty easy!), it was great.  And luckily it was a gorg day - such a tease - but that's another story!  After that we went to 2 other bars, grabbed more drinks and some amaze seafood.  We just really had the best time.  I had so much fun with the girls, there were 10 of us total and it was just perfect.  Everyone was soooo fun and the ride back was more eventful!

We eventually got on the bus, it seemed like we were only there for like an hour, but it was really 4!  That's when things began to go south.  And by south I mean everyone was pretty drunk.  Did I mention there was a stripper pole on the bus??  Because there was.  Did I also mention we brought a bunch of snacks…because somehow most of them managed to be spilled on the floor and became a mushy, gross, disgusting situation.  One of the girls tried to go on the pole, fell to her knees and was covered in goldfish sludge.  Which, side note, she couldn't figure out afterwards why it was like that, like she had bright orange goo on her jeans and she was just like - welp that happened and went out for the night.  

Amazing.  I literally almost wet my pants I was laughing so hard.  

The best part of the whole day, to me at least, I think really sums up our whole experience.  Sydney and I were getting off the bus (at the end when we got back to her apartment) and she looks back at me and this was our exchange:

Sydney:  Ummmm Lizzie where's my purse??  I can't find my bag.  Should I be concerned??
Me:  I mean I'm sure it's around here somewhere - you had it when we got on, right??
Sydney:  I think so.  I mean who knows - I guess it's not a big deal.
Me:  Let's look around (look around to a disgusting mess, bag no where in sight).
Sydney:  Ohhh here it is!  (Reaches into the trash can - yup the trash can - and pulls out her Kate Spade as if it was totally normal)
Me:  Nodding (agreeing that it seemed totally normal)...

We then proceed to go out to dinner and stay out until midnight, at least that's when Amy and I called it a night, Ruby & Sydney rolled in around 3 am.  How - no clue?!  Sunday we all felt amazing - Sydney Uber'd Amy & I a car because she was pretty sure  she'd get a DUI if she tried to drive us anywhere. 

It was just such a delightful weekend.  I love seeing my girlfriends and missed the ones that couldn't make it.  I'm a lucky girl…I have the best most fun most amazing friends a girl could ask for!  Ok - sorry that started to get a lil mushy - I've been all sentimental about these fools lately!!  I'll stop now.  

Racey AC

Soooooo let's break this lil night down. AC was a blast - it was Sydney's bday so things got a lil cray. Before I get into that though, I just wanted to discuss my Friday night situation. I wound up going to a comedy show last minute at Caroline's. And can we talk about how I basically peed my pants. I haven't laughed that hard in quite some time. There were three comedians…2 openers and then one guy headlined. They were all fantastic and so different and I loved them all. If you ever get a chance to see/hear any of these guys - Josh Rabinowitz & John Mulaney in particular - I highly recommend you do it. Absolutely hilarious.


Ok so onto the next one. I took the train to CCK and then we got to make the drive down to AC together. Great catching up time and so nice to have company on the journey!! We got to Revel. Ummm can we talk about this. It's amazing. Soooo clean (we all know how I feel about that), no smoking, very open/spacious, good restaurants, I could go on. The rooms were also fantastic, beds were comfy and the showers were phenom. We met up with the other girls, had a great lunch at Village Whiskey and started the celebrating! After lunch we got the lay of the land and then CCK and Bessie went home for the night. That's when things started to unravel. Me, Sydney, Hilary & Kit were left to our own devises! We shopped around a little bit and then we grabbed a drink at the bar (one of many). Eventually we made our way back to our room to get ready for the night. Don’t worry I tested the shower & the shower caps - both worked fabulously. After we all got fresh to death we headed to dinner.

Dinner was at Buddakan. It's basically Asian Fusion and it was absolutely amazing. We got a bunch of different things and shared it all. I was so content and pleased. We had a great time at dinner and just had a nice relaxing meal. I know there are a few throughout the country, so I highly recommend it if you have a chance. Then the fun started…our cab ride back was insane. The guy drove like 9000 miles an hour and "Mo Money Mo Problems" came on the radio…we asked to turn it up a lil bit…next thing it's blaring as we're careening down the street. We roll up to our hotel with it blasting and of course stares all around.

Our first stop for the night was a bit aggressive - Ivan Kane’s Royal Jelly Burlesque Nightclub. Now we thought there'd be tables/seats for us. We hadn't even fully digested - I was only on my first round of Tums. HOWEVER, once we got in, we were enamored and the music was just so good. So to paint a picture it's this darkish room and in the center/on the ceiling are basically runways for girls to walk around/dance/be weird/wear nude colored unitards.

It was nuts. There was also a guy who pretended he was Snoop Dogg (or should I say Snoop Lion) and I honestly think he really believed he was. The people watching was just beyond. After awhile, we were all having trouble standing due to feet/heels to high/issues. Right before we were getting ready to go a girl who was totally out of control came crashing down on my foot (with her heels) and then proceeded to spill her beer down my jeans…so that was basically final straw and a sign for us to leave (ps - my foot is basically purple from my toes to my ankle...I wasn't even trying to be dramatic!). With that Sydney literally threw her whole drink (glass and all) in the garbage and the signature move came out…her yelling "Lizzie" while swinging her arm in the air in a circular motion…round 'em up style if you will.

So we ran back to the room to all change into our flats. God we're so old. But you know what - best decision we made all day. Proper foot wear is always a must…as Sydney's mother so often tells me. Then we were off again and headed to the next bar, Social. This was our jam. There was a band playing, Garden State Radio Band - ummmm they were amazing. Like I want to see them daily kind of amazing. They were such a phenom cover band. They played everything from oldies to top hits and were soooo good. If you can see them - I'd do it. So basically I was in my glory dancing up a storm with Kit. I look over and this guy is just awkwardly sidling up to me and kinda dancing around me/with me/not really/I had no idea what was going on. Kit literally burst out laughing and says "I think your friend wants to talk to you". So after a few more awkward encounters I finally started the conversation and I kid you not this was how it went…

Me: Hi, I'm Lizzie.
Him: Oh right yah I'm Tom.
Awkward silence
Him: So do you come here often?
Me: Um not really, first time here, having fun, it's a great place (rambling to fill the silence).
Him: Sooo how old are you?
Me: I'm 32.
Him: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (Mouth open widely, eyes like popping out of his head). NOOOOOOO WAAAAYYYYY. You DO NOT LOOK 32…I'd say 25 tops - and I'm not even trying to flatter you.

Me: (feeling ever so comfortable with my age) Ummm well that's quite the reaction, how old are you?

Him: I’m 23. Where do you live?
Me: NYC, you?
Him: In Little Ferry with my parents, but it's only like 20 minutes from the city.
Me: Yup, I know the town.
Him: Soooo I mean yah, sooooo like ummmm, like ummmm, what are you looking for?

Me: Excuse me?

Him: Like what are you looking for? I mean do you wannna….

Me: Well lets just stop right there. (thinking - am I being like propositioned?? Like am I a hooker?!) I think I'm gonna just go with my friends (and I grabbed Kit and walked away).

Like why is this the only guy that spoke to me the whole trip?! Sydney and I even made a pact that we were supposed to find brothers that we could marry and this was the fool that I attracted?? Anywho….we continued to dance and drink and sing and just have a fabulous time. After awhile we went out to the casino and gambled a bit. I threw down $20 on roulette and lost in about 2.2 seconds. The only game that I thought was profitable were the slots - Sydney and I played "Grease" and basically won big. We were sitting there and all of a sudden both our machines started going off, flashing, loud noises. We didn't even know what was going on. But I won $60 and she won $100 - amazing! We finally decided to call it a night, grabbed some food and went to bed. Don't worry - it was 4 am. The old hags made it till 4 am!!

The next day we slowly got ourselves together. I had to catch the bus. It was heinous. It's not so much the bus/the ride it's who sits next to you. Literally this guy getting on, I saw him in line and he looked like the biggest creeper ever. like ever. he walks onto the bus, takes a look around and of course decides to sit next to me. He then proceeds to basically come into my seat and grossly sleep - ewww I'm sceeved out just thinking about it. I hate the flashbacks.

Soooo there you have it. And then I got home…ordered food…watched the Oscars and became increasingly more depressed that it was Sunday night…my trip was over…and I had to work the next day!!

Happy Monday…I Mean Tuesday

Happy day back from a long weekend!! So gross!! First off - I need to wish a very special someone a happiest of birthdays!! Sydney's bday is today and I hope it's just fabulous!!


 We'll be celebrating this coming weekend in Atlantic City - so more on that to follow!!

I wound up having a great weekend! I had a last minute wedding invitation for Saturday - it was a co-worker, so no offense was taken that I got the invite on Monday! Basically another co-worker was getting married and there were 5 of us that went to the wedding - so much fun. I even got to see my little CCK in between the ceremony & the reception. Don’t worry we rolled in style - NBD we took a limo from NY to NJ. We had bevies in the car and it was just a really fun night. Some dancing, some drinking, some eating, a lil this a lil a that. This was my attire…and I got myself a blowout - which was fab.

Eliza J - sooo flattering - hard to see but there's rouching all along the sides that nicely hides what you don't want seen!

Bandolino - I needed a "pop" of color and these were comf and perfect



Aldo - this bag matched wierdly perfectly to my shoes...perfect tie in for the whole outfit



And some new makeup at Bobbi Brown - also fab!! I'm obsessed with these new things I got and I was obsessed with my makeup artist - there were no blemishes to be had on my face and she did such an unbelievable job. I told her to "make it look like I did it but better". Here are the new products I purchased:

Long-Wear Even Finish Compact Foundation - loving this style of foundation and it truly lasts all day

Lip Balm - it's amazing and leaves your lips soft and the best pink shade

Illuminating Bronzing Powder - it really highlights and brightens your face

After the reception we rolled on back to NYC and proceeded to go to another bar - because that was necessary. It's not like I was just singing Public Enemy in the limo home and making a fool out of myself - I def needed more drinks apparently. While in this bar I proceeded to walk up to a stranger …at a table…I repeat a stranger…with coworkers looking on and pull his hood over his head. I'm sorry what is wrong with me?! All I could think about was that part in Austin Powers where they're on Jerry Springer and Dr. Evil runs around the stage yelling "I got your hood. I got your hood.".  I thought I was simply hilarious. Thankfully his friends did too - no harm no foul?! What is my life??

Sunday was a total wash - I literally didn't get off the couch/leave my apartment. It was simply glorious. Sometimes you just really need days like that. I also was able to watch all things Beyonce and my love for her has grown even more than I thought it would. I saw her new documentary and her interview with Oprah. I mean - I just love her.

She's so real and awesome and beautiful and and and! I could go on. And don’t get me started on Blue Ivy - I mean could she be more precious/is a carbon copy of Jay-Z.

Yesterday was also a great day - I got to go see my bestie and her 2 little ones. They're so adorbz - I just love them to pieces! We had a great time playing and catching up!

And now I'm here - back at work - going to the gym after work - all things gross. Annnd people are driving me bananas. 

Buuuut silver lining - it's Tuesday, which means it's almost Wednesday, which means we're half way through!!

Oh Ron...Do Go ON!!

Hello friends!  Happy gross Tuesday!  It's raining and not pleasant here - so hopefully it's a lil nicer where you are.  How were all the weekends?  Mine was pretty solid!  I'll recap for you.

Well my bday was on Friday, so there's that.  I woke up, got out of bed and said - make this a good day!  I didn't feel like doing anything, but I was trying to pump myself up.  So I took extra time doing my hair & makeup, put on new outfit, and embraced the day.  I left my apartment and it was kinda misting out, but not too bad.  I literally didn't even make it up the block and the skies opened up - TORENTIAL down pour.  I was like a drowned rat. 

I had an umbrella but it didn't do a thing with the sideways rain that was going on.  I finally got to work and I was basically wearing no shirt because I had on a white button down.  So it was like I was just wearing a skirt and my bra.  One of the "head guys" at work who's about 78 years old was like "umm do you want a shirt, I have an extra in my closet".  Totally sweet, but I just stomped passed and mumbled "I'll be in my office wringing myself out - see you in an hour".  And then my secretary scurried in and gave me her desk fan which she set up for me so it would blow in my face and try to dry me off.  Oh and did I mention that my hari was a rats nest and I had makeup streaming down my face?!  Oh I didn't - well that happened!  And don’t worry I'm still using bronzer to pretend I'm still tan from the summer - so my face was basically half brown/half white and I had mascara dripping down.  So that's how the day started - awesome.  The rest of the actual day didn't improve by much.  And all my friends here weren't going to be here that night, so I planned on just going home and wallowing. 

So I left work, went and got a mani/pedi - trying to salvage the day.  After that a girl I work with (who was supposed to be going out of town) texted me and told me to meet them at this bar because she was going to stay in the city after all.  So I was back and forth and then forced myself out.  And I'm glad I did - it wound up being a great night!  Just a few work peeps and a lot of alcohol.  We went to a few different bars and things were getting a lil cray.  We randomly met these 2 men from Haiti who were amazing.  They were older and talking to us for awhile.  Oh this was after some other man spilled his glass of red wine down my leather bag (that I got in Barcelona) and I almost lost it/burst into tears.  Anywho…the one guy, Ron, was quite a character.  At one point I was standing with my work crush (oh don’t worry he was there all night buying me drinks and having fun) and this was our exchange with Ron:

Ron:  Are you 2 brohter and sister??

Us:  (giggling/shocked because we look nothing alike) umm no!

Ron:  Well good because you 2 need to date!

Us:  (laughing awkwardly, giggling, me looking at the floor/turning purple, etc.) 

So basically we're married now - at least according to Ron.  Soooo after that we wound up at this dive bar. Really fun - and this is when things start to get hazy.  I know I invited myself to a co-workers wedding (awesome) and I know I took myself home around 2 am.  I also know that I changed my shoes on the sidewalk. I also know that I woke up on my couch in a t-shirt and undies around 6 am with the TV & lights on with Whole Foods mashed potatoes in front of me.  So choose your own adventure as to how my night ended. 

Then Saturday morning came and I felt atrocious.  I was heading to West Chester, PA to see some of the girls.  I made a miraculous recovery though by the time I got there and it was all good.  I was able to power through and have another fab night!  We went to a great dinner, caught up, and went out to few fun bars.  All of us pretending we still "have it"!!

All in all it was a great weekend - despite it being my birthday!  Happy work week - we're almost there!! 

Who Said It's My Birthday?!

So in trying to keep up with my promise...here's today's post about me not wanting my birthday to arrive.  Tomorrow is my birthday - bleh. 

I'm going to be Double Sweet Sixteen.  I'm normally not the girl that gets totally hyped about birthdays - but generally I'll do a lil something.  But this year - nothing.  It's going to rain tomorrow and I'm already just not excited.  There's no one around to go grab drinks.  SO next week I'm going to do a lil joint thing, but as for tomorrow - maybe a lil mani/pedi action is in store.  Maybe some takeout and a movie - I don't know - sky's the limit I suppose.  I'll check in tomorrow and let you know my status.  AKA if I haven't left my house and I'm in my PJ's with my head in the freezer searching for ice-cream.  Not trying to be all Debbie Downer but to sum it up...



Go Ruby It's Your Birthday!

So we'll take a brief Europe hiatus to discuss this past weekends festivities!   Ruby's birthday extravaganza was a fabulous time and I have no voice and my eyes can't stay open as proof!

I had a flight down there Friday night - I met Charlotte at the airport - it was really pretty seamless.  My ride to the airport was a lil uncomfortable - there was an older man across from me on the subway and he WOULD NOT stop staring at me.  

It made me feel very creeped out, but I couldn't really do much about it, so I just decided to pretend I was sleeping.  Anyways…Charlotte and I grabbed dinner together then boarded the plane.  Basically you take off and land in like a hot second.  I'm reading Bossypants right now - if you haven't already done so - please do yourself a favor and read this book.  

I literally laughed out loud a few times, but thank God the guy next to me had already read the book, so he totally understood and didn't think I was a weirdo.  So we landed, went outside and waited for Hilary to pick us up.  We were also waiting for Amy & Coco to arrive, which worked out perfectly and they got there about 15 minutes after us!

After dropping bags off at Hilary's we headed to Ruby's.  It was a very low key night and we just caught up.  We are getting a lil old (aka Hags are here), so we try to keep Fridays low key.  Around 1 am we decided to head back to Hilary's to go to bed.  We had to split into 2 groups for cabs so Coco and I stayed behind for the next one.  As we were waiting, one pulled up and poured out this disastrous couple.  They were so bombed.  The girl literally fell out of the cab, stood to the side, spit on the ground, touched it, and then tried to stand back up.  The guy wasn't much better, but was trying to keep her in check.  It was hilarious.  Coco and I just watched in judgment. 

We got up Saturday morning, had bagels, did a crossword puzzle (again, Hags are here) and waited for Ruby.  When she finished her morning errands, we met her for lunch.  It was great - just relaxing and we all get to catch up some more.  We had to get ready so early, that after lunch, we pretty much needed to just head back to Hilary's to start getting ready.  Then our night began!

We started at Ruby's and all met up there.  A few other people joined us, including Kit!  Gang's all here!  Ruby's husband arranged for a limo to take us to dinner and the bar, so obvi we were riding in style!  The limo was so fun - we all had a great time.  We had dinner at Buddha Bar - amazing.  It was really good - I highly recommend it.  After a few pics with the Buddha, it was on to the bar!  

We headed to Napoleon - which is one of my fave bars in DC, so I was really excited.  On our way there, the limo driver stopped at a few monuments along the way.  My favorite was when he stopped at the Capitol building, we all piled out for a quick pic, next thing - pretty sure we broke out into a patriotic medley.  It was amahhhzing and prob the best part of the night!  So much fun! 

We got to the bar just as a bunch of my old co-workers were walking in.  I was more than ecstatic to see them!  It's been forever so I basically jumped them all upon walking into the bar.  We had to head to the downstairs area first, they were still serving dinner upstairs.  Downstairs is great - but its kind of like a frat house basement.  Music blasting and you sweat just by standing in one spot.  So you can imagine how this worked out for me.  Basically every 1/2 hour I went upstairs and stood outside.   BUT the music was so fun and everyone was just dancing and having a good time.  eventually we were able to head upstairs and have more "civilized" conversations.  It was just so fun to see everyone and catch up with old friends.  I hate that I don’t see their faces daily anymore and I just have so much fun with them, that it makes me wanna move back down.  But that's the fun of visiting, too, I get to see them, have a great time, and then it makes me appreciate DC that much more!

Sunday was not fun waking up at 8 am …worst!  BUT it was good to get home early and lay on the couch for the rest of the day. 

I wish you a fabulous Thanksgiving and I'll see you all back here next week!!  XOXO

Oh, Totally Normal

First things first - I apologize for the delay in posting this.  It has been, for lack of a better word, a hellish day.  Let's just say I've already burst into tears twice.  Happy Monday!!

On to happier things - my weekend recap!  This weekend was the birthday celebration of Amy!!  We had so much fun and obvi craziness ensued.  The hags just never seem to disappoint in that department! 

Friday night I told the lovely Amtrak on up to Beantown.  I was greeted by Amy and her husband.  Shortly after Coco arrived. The other girls got stuck in DC - apparently you need a captain to fly your plane - minor details - and they were lacking in that department.  So eventually Sydney, Ruby & Hilary rolled on it.  Amy's husband is studying to be a sommelier, so he was kind enough to do a "mock wine tasting" for us.  It was so much fun and very professional!  Just what I needed for a rainy Friday night!

Saturday we got up and had a great brunch and then headed over to see Bridesmaids.  It was during this car ride that my favorite quote of the whole weekend was said by Hilary.  We were having a random conversation about shaving.  This was the exchange:

Hilary:  The woman that used to sheer our sheep didn’t shave her armpits.
Everyone in the car:  Nothing - Silent
Me:  Ummm did no one just pick up on what Hilary just said.  I can't.  What?!  She just said - like this whole sentence is normal - " The woman that used to sheer our sheep didn’t shave her armpits."  Does anyone have any reactions to this?!
Everyone in the car:  BURST OUT LAUGHING

And that is why I love my friends.  Before we actually entered the theater - since we were early - we thought it would only make sense to just drink a 24 ounce beer - I mean because that's normal. 

Then on to the movies!  Do yourselves a favor - if you haven't seen this - GOOOOO!  It was beyond hilarious and I'm obsessed.  I loved it.  Totally classic!  And the best part is that some old lady in our theatre yelled out "that's awful" really loud when they showed one of the gowns.  Love the audience participation! 

We then quickly got changed and ready for the night.  We had dinner at Cafeteria.  Again - highly recommend.  It's a really fun atmosphere and the food is good.  The drinks are really fun, too.  At the end of dinner, after we'd consumed like everything on the menu, we had a little bday celebration treat.  It was beyond good - like 5 different ice cream flavors, fruit, brownie, hot fudge, could you just?!

The rest of the evening was a series of uncomfortability for me.  We went to this bar called the Liquor Store.  When we walked in - we were basically the oldest girls by like a lot.  Prob almost 10 years.  All the girls there were dressed as if there was a hooker casting call at the bar.  I have never in my life seen such sights.  These dresses barely even covered their butts (and some didn’t) - let alone other things!  I felt like a major hag - but seriously - who let them out of the house?! 

Then I looked over and there was bull that you could ride.  

Now throughout the course of the night - this got increasingly more entertaining.   I've put a few pics below of 2 of my favorites.  

This girl wore a sweater with snowflakes & khakis and glasses.   She just didn't care and was totally happy!

Now this girl thought Spanx were ok to be in public - notice the red part is actually her dress.

These did not include the girls that decided it would be a good idea to ride this thing in a dress.  I saw more butts that night than I care to remember!

The main reason that Amy wanted to go to this bar was the "entertainment" of the evening.  "Mini-Gaga" was performing. Picture below.  She also preformed with "Mini- Beyonce".  They were…interesting. 

Of course Ruby was determined to get a picture with them.  So after their performance we ran after and try to find them.  As we were running across the bar - all trying to stay together - it was grossly crowded - a disgusting thing happened to me.  Sydney was behind me and can attest to this whole situation.  I was walking and she was grabbed onto me and we were trying to just maneuver the crowds.  All of a sudden some man literally tickled my stomach.  WTF?!  

Literally he put his hand on my stomach - tickled - and said "tickle tickle".  Now this is the second "tickle incident" I've had in 2 weeks - what about me says "please tickle" - I HATE it!  I looked up at him - disgusted - and said "REALLY?! Why do you think that was ok?!"  He replied, "What - I just tickled".  I then yelled "WELL DON'T - THAT'S NOT OK!!"  All the while - Sydney is just about peeing her pants!  Why is this my life?!

We finally got to the performers and were able to take an amazing pic of them on the bull with us surrounding - don't worry - everyone was totally jealous.  It's really NBD. 

After that it was time to call it a night.  We headed home and settled in for the night!  Sunday - Sydney thought she was going to die.  Could have been that this was her drink line up for the evening:
Pomegranate Lemonade (2)
Dirty Martini
Bailey's
Red Bull Vodka
Beer

I took my first Acela trip home - kinda loved it.  Now I'm going to have a hard time going back to the "regular" train.  I then laid on my couch and enjoyed catching up on last weeks RHW episodes followed by my Sunday line up - Mob Wives, Audrina, Saddle Ranch & Khloe & Lamar!  And now I'm hating Monday - seems about right!

The Hags Take On The Wineries

First things first - I'd like to give a shout out to the Tufts Women's Lacrosse team.  I had the pleasure of watching them play and they made a valiant effort in their game today - you'll get them next time girls!!

Second off I'd like to holla at my girl Charlotte - Happy 30th and welcome to the club!! This past weekend I had the pleasure of celebrating Charlotte's birthday at the wineries in Long Island. Here's a little bit of how the weekend unfolded…

Since the other girls were coming in from out of town we decided to just meet in the city for dinner and wait for everyone to get there. Then we'd trek out to Long Island to stay at Charlotte's for the weekend. I left work at 5 and Hilary was already in town. Coco & Sydney were en route and would be in shortly..I arrived at the place we were all meeting up, we put our name in for a table and then headed downstairs to put away our bags and grab a drink. Hilary & I hadn't exchanged too many words at this point, as we were just rushing around. So when we get to the bar I ordered a beer and Hilary asked for water - thought it was a little strange, but whatever. We then go to sit down and it becomes clear to me why the water was a necessity. It seemed that Hilary took herself out with her sister and had been drinking since 2pm. Pretty sure she was drunk and words were a little difficult. We eventually got to our table and Coco arrived. She sits down, Hilary says a sentence, and Coco looks at me and says "what the hell just happened…were those words or what is going on?!" With that Hilary spills her water on the table - not once but 3 times and then gets lost on her way back from the bathroom. In all fairness - it was a big bar and very confusing - so totally understandable. But the best part was is that she asked the girl at the coat check (which was nowhere near our table) where her friends were. So needless to say the coat check girl was no help and after about 20 minutes, Hilary found us! Shortly after, Sydney rolled in and by that point we all agreed that Hilary had drank enough water and so we all had a few beers! When we wrapped that up, we realized that we only had about 10 minutes to sprint to Penn Station to make our train out to Long Island - womp womp! So we all started running and as we got into Penn, I realized that Duane Reade had cans of beer like right by the entrance - so with just 4 minutes to spare, I raced in, grabbed 4, and we literally ran onto the train. Which brings us to the next thing, there were about zero seats. Awesome. So we wound up having to squeeze into a 6 seater (3 on one side facing 3 seats on the other) with 2 older people and Hilary sat across the aisle. Basically we were sitting with our grandparents and things got awkward when we started cracking open our beers. Finally we reached Charlotte and were taken hope immediately. We were very responsible once we got there, only had a few more drinks, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. We did, after all, have to get up at 8am to get ready for the festivities!

Saturday morning came and we were all up and raring to go! While getting dressed and trying to figure out our ensembles, Sydney boldly stated, "I mean it doesn't really matter what the rest of you look like, I clearly look the best. Soooo I mean deal with that." Redic. The party bus was coming at 9am, so we made sure to carbo load so we could make it through the day. There were about 40 people all together going on this little journey, so the bus was ginorm. The best part, however, is that they sent us the wrong bus. We get on and there is leopard print everywhere, leather seats, a stripper pole in the middle of the bus, oh and a huge leak in the back and water was pouring in. So we needed a new bus for that purpose mainly, but it was a little awk with the stripper pole, I mean her parents were coming with us! And as the day wore I on I had visions of Sydney swinging herself around it. So we had to make a quick detour, get a new bus and then we were off!

The four of us,(me, Sydney, Hilary & Coco), snagged a table in the front of the bus - amazing location! We then got the party started! Mimosas were flowing and things were in high gear. We got the first winery and did our first tasting. It was so fun. We then decided that it would be in our best interest to buy 1 bottle of wine from each vineyard and split that among the 4 of us. That would be in addition to the tastings, of course, oh and the beer/wine/champagne on the bus. Why is this my life and why do I think these things are normal?! As we were sitting there enjoying our wine, this is what began to happen. It seems that there was "live music", so next thing we know this man, actually his name was "Don", gets up and starts belting things out - it was so awkward and strange. You can see/hear the audio portion on my Facebook Fan Page ( OR click on the Facebook link on the right side of my page).  Here's a visual:

The next vineyard was only like a second away and we did our same "routine". By now we were starting to feel pretty good. We had fun there and then had to pile back on the bus to head to the last place. Now this was by far my fav, maybe because I was pretty tipsy by this point, maybe it's because Sydney insisted on buying a "cupcake plate", I don’t know. But whatever the reason, we had so much fun. They also had "live music" and this guy was off the chain. He had himself and a guitar and sang crazy songs. At one point he belted out (slash rapped) Eminem & Dido's "Stan" - I mean unreal - and he was alone singing 2 parts. Cray cray! We finished up there and headed home. We were all pretty bombed at this point, but we had so much fun on the bus home. At one point this was an actual conversation:

Hillary: I really love the camaraderie on buses!
Coco: It's true, I've really had some good times on buses!

So that just about sums it up. We got back to Charlotte's, had dinner and some birthday cake. Most of the group had cleared out, but we were still in full effect! We decided that it only made sense to play college drinking games and a rousing game of "A**hole" ensued! Eventually we got tired and called it a night around 2 am. That was a serious day for us!

The next day we have all never been crankier and once again, we were acting like old hags. There was a little yelling, some nasty comments, things of that nature, followed by laughing about how ridiculous we all sounded. We all made it back to NYC unscathed.

Another successful weekend with the girls - miss the insanity already! And one of my fav lines from Saturday night - as we rolled up back to Charlotte's house as total messes, Sydney claimed, "You know what's weird? I look just as good as when I left the house!"

"Hags Are Here!" (Yelled In A "Pauly D" Accent)

AC baby! The hags took over this past weekend and we had a blast! It was a successful birthday bash!! Of course it didn’t come without any fun lil stories/situations!

Sydney and I swung through the AC Airport Saturday morning to fetch Amy & Coco. We then proceeded to the hotel to get situated. As we’re walking through the hotel casino we began to see some sights! While waiting for Sydney at the elevator, some woman comes flying at me asking if I was “going up”, to which I replied, “no, just waiting for a friend”. Then she told me how she didn’t want to go in the elevator alone and kinda insinuating that I should go with her – umm what?! And so it begins! I just stared at her and then luckily Sydney came up and we were on our way. For lunch we decided that the Rainforest Café would be the best option. We began our lunch with our first drinks of the day – and in souvenir cups, too! There was also a person in a frog costume that was walking round to each table and obviously we had to get our pic with him! We had a great lunch (well kinda) followed by a VOLCANO – amazing!

They came out yelling “VOLCANO” and singing happy birthday to Sydney – she was embarrassed and hated us, but I feel like it was totally worth it! And I mean the Volcano was delish!

After lunch we headed back to the casino for a lil gambling. We situated ourselves at our very own Roulette table. It was so fun – we were having drinks and putting “it all on red”! After Sydney & Amy had lost enough money and Coco & I were up $20 a piece, we decided to head down to the bar to wait for the rest of the group. Shortly after we sat down, the rest of the hags rolled on in! Ruby, Cas, Charlotte, Hilary, & Kit – gangs all here! We had a few more drinks then headed up to get dressed for the night. I should also note that some of the people in this place were so whack-attack! Coco and I were walking past a restaurant in the hotel and saw this young boy with a “clown face” painted on him. He had a big red nose on and white make-up to look like a clown. Let me explain something to you – I freaking HATE clowns. They creep me out and I find no need in this WORLD for clowns – I absolutely hate them! So you can imagine that after a I’d already had a few drinks, seeing this “Clown Boy” really threw me through a loop!

We had dinner at Continental, which was pretty much amazing. Sooo much food, I couldn’t shovel it in fast enough! So delish – highly recommend it! We finished dinner and despite Sydney claiming she was ready for bed, I knew better, so off we went to Toga Lounge! Now first of all this is like a clerb located right within a casino – totally random. So we walk up, actually I was hobbling because my shoes were AWFUL (my friends called me Ariel because it looked like I was walking for the first time), and they tried to charge us a cover charge to get in. We all said no that wouldn’t work, so next thing we know – they waived the charge and in we all went!

It was seriously the weirdest place ever – totally bizarre. There were girls dancing on the bar – but like “professional girls” - that was their job. They weren’t strippers – but basically had nothing on and just danced – awkward. So we found a lil spot and the and of course our luck a large group of “grenades”, if you will, sat like right on top of us. I’m talking like a minefield! We finally were able to get another spot and got ourselves away from that unfortunate situation. Here are just a few things that occurred while we were in this location:

1. Some guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go out to the boardwalk with him and smoke pot. I replied “seriously?!?!” to which he said “yah, seriously” and then I said, “Oh, I mean if you’re serious – then……NO – get away!”. Like really?!!

2. This little foreign man would not leave Sydney alone. He was like a smitten kitten. It came to a halt when he tried to take her picture with him on his camera phone so that his co-workers would see that he talked to a girl. She yelled, “Oh, God no! I don’t do that!” And then he kinda just sulked away.

3. Ruby and I did a fantastic rendition of “Single Ladies”.  Coco & Amy thought it was just hilarious to pretend like they were taking pictures, when really they were filming the whole thing.  Def not something I need to have "surface"!

4. We all eventually got our “energy” back after dinner and busted a move to some awesome “tunes”.  It was a great "set"!

5. One of the “dancers” fell off her “box”/stage and then pretended that it was her heel of her boot that broke – but it totally didn’t she was just too focused on her “sexy dancing” to realize that she had overstepped her boundaries and down she went!

6. We saw a few very interesting characters – I mean only in AC would you see such sights!

7. A girl got kicked out because she was so bombed – and then proceed to fall as she was being escorted out – oh and she was wearing flats and there were no steps/it wasn’t dark - how she even managed to fall is beyond me!

Finally around 2:30 am we decided we needed a change of scenery, so Dusk nightclub seemed like the best idea. When we first got in the clerb the music was great, total old school rap and college throwbacks! Amazing! There were fog machines going, people dancing like lunatics and I swear the way some of those girls were grinding – someone left pregnant. I know that is the hag coming out in me – but we were all a lil shocked at the outfits and antics of these young ladies! I actually turned to Coco and one point and exclaimed, “where are their mothers?!”. Anyways – we to stay there for a lil while and Sydney was in her glory – so it was totally worth it!

By the time we got out of there it was about time for us to call it a night. It was after 4 am, my feet were basically bleeding – Ariel needed to go back “Under the Sea”. We basically just went to bed when we got home – a lil bit of recapping, but we were all exhausted from our shenanigans!

The next morning was a lil rough – I mean we can’t do it like we used to! Me, Sydney, Coco, & Amy had breakfast together. We were all al lil cranky and imagined that this would be our life as old women in our Florida old folks community! I then had to get on a Greyhound bus back to NYC, and thank God, Sydney, Coco & Amy stayed with me at the station. It was the seediest place EVER! Finally I got on and there were a slew of lunatics that were going to be with me for the next 2.5 hours. I was a lil nervous at first – there were a lot of random phone convos going on and carings on – but shortly after we started our trek, everyone went to sleep.  Amy & Coco had to sit in the AC airport all day because the only flight back was at 6pm! WORST! And poor Kit was so sick – she was such a trooper all night, but she actually was like legit sick and was just in miserable shape to have to drive all the way back to DC!!

So basically the hags infiltrated AC and conquered! I had a blast and I think Sydney left with a huge headache – which equals a good night. Obvi my memory might not have captured all our antics – so anyone that was there, please feel free to add on!

Ode to Sydney

My dear old friend Sydney has recently turned the big 3-0.  And I can say "dear old friend" because I'm already old and 30.  Therefore, I thought that there would be no better way to welcome her into her 3^rd decade, than to share a few fun moments we’ve/she has had.  To celebrate this milestone, 10 of us are headed down to Atlantic City for a night of festivities – so I’ll be sure to rehash all our shenanigans on Monday’s post!

A few “Sydney-isms” (words/phrases that she has coined):

-         The morning after a friend’s party:

Friend:  I think we’re going to be heading out soon

Sydney:  And so are all of we

-          I walked into her room to crawl into bed with her after a rough night and she barely lifted her head off the pillow and squeaked out:

“I don’t want to die like this.  I have so much more I want to accomplish.“

-       “Sweet Sweet” – this refers to our favorite hung over diner in DC – The Tasty Diner.

-       “Sad Spice” – or basically any other adjectives in front of “Spice”.

-       “You’re driving like a vagina at the town hall” – she likes to yell this at other drivers – in particular on Rt. 95 and the Beltway.

-         She always has the BEST one liners – like “what are we on a duck tour” (in response to the way one of my ex-bf’s walked) and “follow me to fun” and one of my all time favs “18 to party, 21 to DRINK”.  I mean the list really goes on and on!

-         She refers to her mother as a variety of nicknames, including, but not limited to, “Twisted Sister”, “B-Diddy”, “Narnia”, “Red Headed Slut”, and “Sister Sledge”.

A few short stories:

-         Sydney used to shade out and run away after we’d have a night out.  She would apparently want to go home, but instead of telling one of us – she’s just bolt out the door and start her jog home – totally normal.  So for her 21^st birthday, we decided that it made sense to buy her a leash.  It was a pink leash that we made her wear so she’d stay in our sight at all times.  From time to time we still have to break it out – although she has gotten a lil better about not running!

-         After one of our sorority formals, we had all had just a tad too much.  Sydney decided her night was done and took off.  All she remembers is being on all fours in the back lot of this restaurant (that was not at all close to her dorm) with a bag of Doritos (that she has no clue where she found them) and her knees were bleeding.  Needless to say she woke up the next morning with ripped stockings, blood crusted knees, and hugging her bag of Doritos. 

-         While we lived together in DC, Sydney and I came down with an AWFUL case of food poisoning – at the same time!  And we had ONE bathroom.  WORST!!!  So we had to take turns (mind you we both should have been in the hospital).  We wound up having to call each other from our rooms and make sure the other wasn’t in the bathroom before we made the “trek” there – that’s how sick we both were!  Not a fun time!

-         I’ll leave you with this last story – I could go on for days – but I just don’t have time – I need to pack!  We were in AC for our friend CCK’s bach party.  We decided that we’d both put in money to a “house account” and play a lil roulette to try to make us some money!  We lost most of it instantly, but still had a lil left.  I came down with a migraine (womp womp) and had to go back to the hotel early.  So you can imagine my excitement when I got woken up at 5:30 am to Sydney crawling into my bed yelling, “we’re rich, we’re freaking rich – I made us sooo much money you don’t even know”.  So I got so excited and we were discussing what we were gonna spend it on and how great it was and then we both went to sleep.  So we woke up at like 9 am and she was a disaster, so hung over, and if I remember correctly, had a sprained wrist.  I shot up out of bed and was immediately yelling about our winnings.  She got really excited and ran to her bag to get it out.  She then discovered that her “big win” was a whoping 3 cents!  Yes that’s right – she only had 3 cents in her bag!  3 pennies!  Our dreams of Porches and Louboutins went out the window – quicker than you’ll ever know!

Basically these stories/thoughts are just a drop in the bucket.  I’ve clocked a lot of hours with Sydney and we’ve shared a lot of good times and bad times, happy and sad.  And after all that time, she still manages to crack me up until I wet my pants.  I’m looking forward to a night in AC and a few more good stories/one liners from this weekend…and many more to come!  And for those of you that know & love Sydney and would like to share your own stories, feel free to comment!

Happy Dirty 30, Sydney!!