Ok so first off - I'M SO SORRY!! I know I sound like a broken record - but seriously - things have been crazzzy. Some I can discuss, some I'd rather not - maybe they'll come up at a later date in time - but for now - I'm gonna keep 'em to myself! That's what I'm best at - bottle it up and then you'll all get the brunt of it when it boils on over! Anywho sooo instead of a long dramatic post, I figured I'd list out some of the situations I've encountered in the past week/week & a half.
1. Last Thursday I passed a man on the street in full out jeans overalls. He was not a small man. He was pacing up and down the sidewalk on his cell phone. He was SCREAMING obscenities (including, but not limited to, "I will kill you", "I hate your f'ing guts", "I will come to your apartment, grab you by the neck, and knock all your teeth in"). Oh btw - it was 8 am. Good morning NYC!
2. I've been going to a new place to get my salads at lunch time. The first encounter with said place went something like this:
Salad Lady: Do you want it chopped?
Me: No thank you - just break up the avocado & goat cheese.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
Me: Wait (she stops)- no just the avocado & goat cheese.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
Other Salad Lady that works there: No - she doesn't want it chopped.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
This went on for about 3 more times - I was basically in tears - finally she just threw it in my bowl and wanna know the 2 things that were not "chopped" when I got to my desk - in the WHOLE salad - the GD avocado & goat cheese! I took one bite at it was solely goat cheese.
Salad Lady: Do you want it chopped?
Me: No thank you - just break up the avocado & goat cheese.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
Me: Wait (she stops)- no just the avocado & goat cheese.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
Other Salad Lady that works there: No - she doesn't want it chopped.
Salad Lady: Ok. (proceeds to chop the whole thing)
This went on for about 3 more times - I was basically in tears - finally she just threw it in my bowl and wanna know the 2 things that were not "chopped" when I got to my desk - in the WHOLE salad - the GD avocado & goat cheese! I took one bite at it was solely goat cheese.
3. My cousin wanted to set me up with her tennis pro. So I went out to their NJ house for a night and she arranged for a Saturday lesson. Let me break this down, I knew what she was doing but this dude DID NOT. Oh and also - it was a semi-private lesson - so it was her and & I with this kid. Let's just say that he barely talks and was so beyond shy. I was trying to be nice, but all he did was tell me I was doing everything wrong and praising my cousin. OH and did I mention that I haven't played in 3 years, so the fact that I even HIT the ball was amazing to me! Let's just say there is no Wimbledon vacay in our future.
4. I bought this Pilates package on Rue La La. I tried to sign up for my first session the other day and the woman informed me that since I had never done the machines before, it'd prob be best to do a private 1 hour lesson first. So that's fine, I made my arrangements and she even gave me a discount. Well I had my private session the other day. It was with the owner of the studio. Oh and let me back track, I'd never been here before, but I knew it was going to be fabulous when I saw the décor and this gem in the changing room:
So obviously I knew I was in good hands. I went upstairs to the "studio area" to wait for my instructor. Then he approached me…this is a brief description:
-He's about 70
-He has a huge belly - skinny - but just with a huge belly
-Skin of leather
-A few long finger nails
-Spoke in the thickest NY accent I have ever heard
Oh and I should mention that his name was "Sal". He opened his mouth and I could barely understand half of what he said to me the entire time. There was a lot of "looking into his eyes", which obvs made me giggle/was uncomfortable. He told me that everything I was doing in terms of other exercise was wrong and I needed to learn my body's "movement". He also made me watch him doing some sort of kick and I was trying to divert my eyes from where he wanted me to watch - lets just say Sal's sweatpants were a little tight! I mean we hugged it out at the end, I have no clue what happened during that hour, but I do know that I have 10 more sessions and I'm going back today. So there's that.
-He's about 70
-He has a huge belly - skinny - but just with a huge belly
-Skin of leather
-A few long finger nails
-Spoke in the thickest NY accent I have ever heard
Oh and I should mention that his name was "Sal". He opened his mouth and I could barely understand half of what he said to me the entire time. There was a lot of "looking into his eyes", which obvs made me giggle/was uncomfortable. He told me that everything I was doing in terms of other exercise was wrong and I needed to learn my body's "movement". He also made me watch him doing some sort of kick and I was trying to divert my eyes from where he wanted me to watch - lets just say Sal's sweatpants were a little tight! I mean we hugged it out at the end, I have no clue what happened during that hour, but I do know that I have 10 more sessions and I'm going back today. So there's that.
5. I got a massage on Saturday - I'm still sore. It was an Extreme Sports Deep Tissue Massage - again - I'm still sore today. But she used this like heat solution that went on my back with a paintbrush. I felt like I was on fire and I prob have 3rd degree burns on my back (because clearly I can't see back there), but I was basically in tears when it was over because it just "hurt so good".
6. I saw "Friends with Kids" over the weekend - highly recommend it - it's pretty funny.
7. I watched a few episodes of "I Just Want My Pants Back" on MTV. It's actually pretty funny. But I keep thinking of this one line where a girl describes her arms as "a baby's thigh" and I can't handle it. ALL day I looked down and thought just that.
8. I'll leave you with this…I woke up singing "Chantilly Lace" this morning and I can't get it out of my head. Why you may ask - I have NO CLUE!!
Ok - so this week - prom prom I'll be better - I have a few things I'd like to discuss, so we're off to a good start!! XOXO
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