Wacky Wednesday

Happy Wednesday!!!  We're almost through the week kids!  

Last night I went with a friend to Carnegie Hall to see Lena Dunham & David Sedaris.  It was entitled "Along Together At Last".  My friend had an extra ticket, I thought it might be funny, but I didn't really know too much about David Sedaris before going in.  Pretty sure it was phenomenal!  I Had such a good time and the 2 of them were beyond hilarious.

They both did readings from their books that are coming/just came out.  David Sedaris also read an article that he had just written for the New Yorker.  This article was fantastic.  He has the weird side of dark humor completely captured.  I think hearing him read his work is also such an amazing experience, there are certain ways he says things that allows you to just know it's "ok" to laugh at something.    He has a number of books out too, one in particular is next on my list for this time of year - it's called SantalandDiaries in which he talks about his time as an elf at Macy's, green tights and all! 

Lena Dunham was equally as hilarious and amazing.  She has a new book, Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned, coming out and I seriously can't wait to ready it.  She read a few excerpts and I literally was crying.  She's just so real and seemingly "normal".  Even her stage presence was hilarious - she got on and was like listen I'm probably going to mispronounce words, fumble, etc., but just go with it.  Nothing pretentious or "important" about her!

As a totally different note/discussion…these 3 things happened to me this morning …

1.  On the bus this woman basically runs on with her son (mind you there are not that many people on, so it's not crowded).  Instead of telling the son to just sit down at a normal seat, she lets him run wild and all the way to the back of the bus.  The bus starts going and he basically flies across the aisle into some woman's lap and she, while trying to get to him, slams about 3 people (myself included) with his scooter.  Let's just say thank God the kid still had his helmut on from his epic scooter ride, which I'm sure consisted of 1 block.  Needless to say all of this and the 2 of them went literally 1 stop.  1 stop.  People are insane.

2.  On this same bus ride there was an angry woman who was older.  Every time the bus stopped she thought it was her stop.  Meanwhile - the bus driver does announce stops and he stopped at every avenue (we were going across town).  Oh also - she was getting off at 6^th Avenue (my stop) and this started at 1^st Ave.  Finally it was her shining moment and the bus was at a light, however she knew her stop was approaching, thought the stopped bus (due to said red light) meant she could just get off (not at the actual stop).  She began pushing on the door and yelling "BACK DOOR - I'M TRYING TO GET OFF!!!  BACK DOOR!!!"  Finally I politely said "we're not at the stop yet" and then she gave me a dirty look, the bus got to the stop and she scooted off.

3.  I get to work, get situated and settled.  Just starting my day and I hear this from one of the secretaries that sits outside my office door:  "This God damn list keeps changing like someone's bad underwear!!"

So I'll leave you with that lil gem.  I'm off to my old stomping grounds tomorrow…D to the C-izzle (does that work…no?!  Sorry I embarrassed myself).  I hope you all have fabulous weekends!!

Obsession Thursday!

In attempting to keep up with a "weekly themed post"…I'm latching onto "Obsessions Thursday".  I have a few new things that I'm currently drooling over and if you're in the market for any of them - I'd highly recommend you follow this list!!

1.   Peter Thomas Roth Skin Care - So it's no shock that I have problem skin.  Let me rephrase that - I have the skin of a prepubescent, 13 year old boy.  It's really pretty.  In the hunt to find something/anything to tame this face of mine, I've tried everything under the sun (including the actual sun).  I've also tried tons of prescribed medications, too.  The only thing that has come remotely close to almost perfecting my skin has been this line.  It's seriously amazing.  I'd recommend this "starter kit" and also the moisturizer to go along with it (it can make things dry).  The kit isn't terribly expensive and it'll give you a taste as to if your skin is going to respond or not without investing too much $$.  The moisturizer is just plain awesome - it's light and non-greasy and does the trick!

2.  All things William Sonoma - I had a private work event last night at WS (I know I'm so fancy) and honestly - I'm in love with the store.  It's like a dream to walk in there.  Granted most things do not fit in my apartment, let alone my sorry excuse for a kitchen (gotta love NYC living), but a girl can dream.  I bought a ton of Christmas gifts and one thing for myself - this knife, which I'll give full credit to Ruby for introducing me to these.  They're amazing.  So here's that AND a few other things I would have loved to take home with me!!

Waring Popcorn Maker

Le Creuset Signature Round Dutch Oven

Nespresso Citiz Espresso Maker with Aeroccino Plus Automatic Milk Frother, Chrome

Waring Commercial Electric Wine Opener

Spiegelau Beer Glasses

Kilner Clip-Top Jars, Set of 4

3.  Street Vendor Pashminas - I needed a pashmina today (last minute) to go liven up a black dress.  I took to the streets and within 2 minutes, I had an amazing color hot pink one for $5.  

These things are fab - durable and for the price - you can't beat it!  I feel like I need more and in every trendy/amazing color they come in.  Next time you're in NYC you should def grab a few - totally worth it!  And the best part is that if you lose it or if you hate the color in a week, you haven't wasted that much $$.

Happy Thursday and Happy Shopping!!  XOXO

Apparently I'm The Most Unorganized Organized Person

Ummm since when does it snow in mid-November and then go up to 60 degrees like 3 days later?!  What is going on lately?!?!?!?  Seriously - I can't handle it.  Everyone is getting sick, my migraines have been out of control, can we please just pick a temperature and somewhat stick to it?? 

Which brings me to my dilemma this morning.  I've been really trying to go to the gym before I go  into work, which, yes, is totally gross.  But my nights have been so nuts lately and that's always the first thing to go.  So I've been trying to get into a routine of 6:30 am wake up, on some sort of equipment by 7 am, showering by 8 am and work by 8:45 am at the latest.  It gives me time to do what I need to do and then on the weekends I can enjoy a spin class or Pilates.  I digress…this morning I walked out in cropped pants, sneakers, tank top, thankfully I put on a long sleeved shirt over my tank top and then my coat.  I walk out of my building and literally it's like monsooning out.  The wind is insane, it's raining and it's about 1 degree.  I was completely unprepared for the elements.  Which led me to thinking that since I've been doing this whole morning routine I have been unprepared in more ways then one.  My intentions of being all good and healthy and doing this in the morning are good, the outcome...not so much.  Every morning I look into my bag with this same expression:

I have either forgotten or brought the wrong thing…examples:

- No undies (had to go to the Gap when they opened to purchase a new pair)
- No bra (had to wear my gross sports bra until I could go to the Gap to buy a new one)
- A sweater that matched my outfit…only to find a huge hole in the armpit
- A skirt that totally fit last year…not so much this year
- Stockings…with a run
- Tights I thought were opaque tights but were really just sheer stockings (not a good look when you need tights)
- No moisturizer for my face (which sounds stupid, but I'm using things now that make my face basically feel like cracked clay without it)
- No commuting flats (so I had to rock the tights & sneakers look)
- No brush - which is just awesome
- A dress that is blatantly too short (shrunk in the wash and wasn't that short last time)

I know there is probably more, but this is all I can talk about at this point.  I've come to work more times than I'd like to think about dressed like a complete maniac.  Good thing no one really talks to me.  Womp womp.  Or maybe they just don’t talk to me because I either look like a crazy person or the office slore…either way...I need to get more thoroughly organized in this routine!!!

 

Just Your Average MRI Blog Post

Sooo at the rightful hour of 7:15 am today I had to get an MRI.  Nothing to really be concerned about (I know all of you were just gasping).  I've just been getting so many migraines lately and this ridiculous eye twitch that just won't quit.  My doctors think everything is totes fine, but just want to be sure. 

Anywho...have any of you ever had an (I keep wanting to write "an", but I'm not sure if it's just "a" and it's making me uncomfortable) MRI??  I mean they're one of my very least favorite things to do in my life.  I've only had total maybe 5 in all of my years (not something you want to rack up).  The worst part about the brain ones is that they put your head in this little cage type thing and then wheel you into that tube.  I'm not an extremely claustrophobic person - but this -THIS - just really gets me.  So my lil technician was just pushing me into the tube and I could feel my heart start racing.  All I could see was her lil face (they attach a mirror type thing so you feel like you can see out/don’t have to be worried) getting smaller and smaller.  And then she just gave a little wave and off she went.  

I was left to my own head and devices.   I had about 6-7 different scans, each lasting anywhere from 30 seconds to 4 minutes.  In between she'd talk to me through the speakers, it's supposed to "help", but honestly stressed me out  more because she wouldn't tell me how many more I had to do!  I just kept my eyes closed, fully knowing that if I opened them I'd be in a full out panic at the disco.  Those 30 minutes feel like 8 hours.  My adrenalin is pumping and I was just sweating.  Even though I wanted to keep my eyes closed, I had this little voice inside like "go ahead, open up, see if it's cool" - quick answer - it's not cool.  BUT the absolute worst part is when she'd be like "ok stay completely still, don’t move a muscle".  

Well of course that's like saying to a child, "I'm going to just sit this candy bar right here, don't eat it, ok?!"  Well of course the first thing I need to do is move, it took every ounce of my being to just stay still and not start like MRI twerking - I heard it's the latest thing - kinda like planking on the table, but twerking - no?!  PS - over twerking - never really was on board - now - can it please just disappear?!  Finally it was over and the little woman wheeled me on out - I gave a sigh of relief and off I went to work.  Best way to start your morning!

BTW - anyone catch RHOBH last night?!  And the new Vanderpump Rules?!  RHOBH:  Brandi - she was killing me last night!  And Kyle - I think she needs to move past all this stuff with Lisa & Yolanda.  And Kim is looking good - you go girl!!  The new people are kinda weird, I'm hoping they get better next week!  Vanderpump Rules:  wellll it's kinda like a train wreck that I just can't stop watching.  I think Pandora's husband said it best as they were leaving the party he said "let's go - we're better than this".  I  know I'm better than this, but it just sucks you in!  They're all bat shiz crazy!!  One worst than the next!!  The only one that was slightly normal last night, was Katie's BF Tom and he almost got into a fight with Sheena's BF who then starting bawling over said potential fight - like he was full out bawling.  WTF?!?!  These peeps are all nuts!!  And on that note...

Hallo...WHAT is she wearing?!?!

Well hello my little pumpkins!!  Or actually Halloween is over (kinda glad), so I guess you'd be my lil cornucopias!   

So not much has happened since I last checked in.  My summer and fall kinda got away from  me between work, personal & family stuff it's been a bit nuts.  But now things are settling down, so I feel a lot better about everything!

So this past weekend was Halloween in NYC.  Which is kinda like one of the worst situations of life if you ask me.  I've never been a huge Halloween person, it kinda stresses me out.  I liken it to New Year's Eve - a lot of hype and then I'm normally let down.  So I decide to just become a hermit/90 year old woman on both of these holidays.  BUT Halloween in NYC is just a spectacle to behold.  Many girls takes this opportunity to dress like a complete slores, while I take the opportunity to dress in the biggest/most comfortable thing I can find (aka a pumpkin, bunch of grapes, bumble bee, etc.).  This past weekend I had to witness, among other things, this group of girls in their "80s gear" - soooo leotards, tights & leg warmers and they pretended that the 80s was basically equated to 1947.  I just sat there thinking  - I lived that - you didn't - you're little twits (hence the 90 year old woman coming out).  But they were flouncing (I'm going to pretend that's a word) in their no bras and tights and exposed backs and everything like it was normal and they were the hottest things in the bar.  Soooo I decided to enlighten you all with a few jems from this past Halloween of what actual people dressed up as (in addition to the usual suspects…sexy nurse, sexy police woman, sexy princess, etc)…this is not a drill…girls went out in public like this thinking it was fine because it was Halloween….and the actual names of these costumes are listed below…I repeat the ACTUAL names of these costumes…

Blast Off!  Astronaut

Candy Corn Cutie

Cherry Pie

Princess in Prison

Sexy Corn

Sexy Halloween

Yo Mummy

Bascially this is me watching all these youngins…

On another note…I also watched the marathon this weekend - congrats to all those runners!!  It's a tremendous amount of work, effort, sweat, tears, time, but it's one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences you'll ever have in your life.  Well done!! 

So I'll be on my way now.  I promise I'll be a bit better now that things have calmed down around me.  Until next time…Happy Monday!!

It's Your Lucky Day!!

Just a quick lil story for your entertainment - or maybe pity - I'm not quite sure which. 

I've become involved in Tarte cosmetics (thanks to Ruby!).  The first tinted moisturizer I got is great, but just slightly darker than my normal skin color (but great for when I have a glowing tan - which happens so often).  SOOO I decided to go into Henri Bendels yesterday to just get a lil bit lighter one.  I was short on time, so I literally slow jogged right up to the counter, I was like "hi I have 12 and I think I need 10, sooooo can you just grab that I can pay and be on my way?!"  The sales woman was annoying (had her once before) - insisted on testing things and finally wound up with the one that I told her I wanted from the beginning.  So she goes to grab it, this is after she tried to push another type on me, but I stuck to my guns and then she convinced me that I was making the right choice.  This is how the rest of the experience went…

Woman:  Ohhh ummm yikes….soooo ummm…looks like we're out of 10, but are you sure you don’t want the other one??

Me:  Yah - I mean I think this kind just suits me best, so I guess I'll just have to get it somewhere else.
Woman:  WELLLLLL we just got a shipment in this morning, so let me run downstairs really quick and see - I'm positive there will be some more in those boxes.
Me:  Oh that's great- thanks.
**Cut to 10 minutes later**
Woman:  (as she running at me through the store with 3 huge boxes) IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY!!!
Me:  Oh such great news!
**She then proceeds to take out this brush & powder concoction and goes to try it on me. **

Me:  Umm I'm sorry I don’t really have time for this, can I just have the tinted moisturizer and I'll be on my way.
Woman:  OHHH yah so about that - we didn't have it.  BUT I totally think the other one is the best way to go anyway.
Me:  (getting slightly more annoyed as the time passes and now questioning why I'm even here) OK YOUR WERE YELLING HOW IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY SO I FIGURED THAT YOU HAD IT.  FINE JUST GIVE ME THE OTHER ONE.  (oh and I've also been there for 0ver 20 minutes, so I'm getting hella angry now).
Woman: (scurries over to the drawer searching…searching…searching…) Oh shoot (in this pathetic meeke voice)…we're out of that one too.

Me:  (say no words…look of death…storm out).

 

Happy almost Friday everyone!!  I'm heading to Deep Creek Lake with some of my girlies!!  Enjoy the weekends!!  XOXO

 

For Your Viewing Pleasure

So as everyone enters into their weekends - here are a few new summer programs that have been entertaining me.  Some I'm more embarrassed about than others.  And some are old favorites and some are brand new (at least for me)!

RHONJ & RHOOC - ok seriously I know these are old faves, but both of these seasons have been amaze!  I'm really loving them and I've been bored slightly in the past.  One of my fave moments was the ski slope fight on RHOOC - I mean who can really take anyone seriously in ski goggles?!  I was dying. 

 

 

And on NJ - shiz is getting rulll - rull quick.  Rosie is like front and center this season and a few of the others have taken a much needed back seat. 

America's Got Talent - there I said it.  I admit I kinda like it - it's grown on me.  I think the judges really interact well and the acts have been kinda incredible.  I think my favorite right now is Collins Key - he's such a cutie! 

 

And I do love  a few of the kids acts and the one comedian that is so dry and awkward you just can't help but laugh.

Below Deck - now this is actually a really bad show - but it's like a train wreck, I really can't help it!  Every week I need to find out what happens on the next episode!

Camp - this is another new one that is really kind of growing on me.  And it's not reality TV, so there's that.  But it's cute and mindless, so you need a few of those in the rotation.

The Vineyard - now I've only seen one episode of this, mainly because there's only been one, but it's terrible.  So basically that means it's right up my alley.  It's another reality one that takes place on Marth's Vineyard and all the people work at Black Dog.  It's very intellectual and deep.

Princesses of Long Island - I can't.  This show - ridic. 

 

 

It's so grating and their voices drive me bananas, but it's just that ridiculous that you can't not watch.  Some of the lines on it are priceless and so obscene - aka "only poor people mix cheeses" - like what does that even mean?! 

 

It's beyond not only offensive but doesn't make sense and just ridiculous.  And one of their boyfriends I'm pretty sure is gay, so they need to check on that. 

And of course the tried & trues like the Kardashians - loving Brody's involvement this season!  Giuliana & Bill - so glad these 2 are back!  I just can't help but love them!  And Duke - what a cutie - so happy!!  It just doesn't get old for me.  It's been a lil more "hokey"/staged this season than I like, but obvi still gonna watch it.  And Franklin & Bash which has just added on Heather Locklear - it's great as per usual.  Happy viewing!!  AND HAPPY FRIDAY!!