Does anyone ever look at their Spam mail?? Every now and then it catches my eye - normally it's about "Single Christians" or "Single & Jewish" - it really doesn't discriminate race, religion, ethnicity - it just some how knows that I need help in that department. Sometimes it's about medications and drugs - sometimes Viagra - again - doesn't' discriminate. So today I thought I'd let you all take a lil look at my morning Spam Inbox. Come along on this journey of dysfunctionalness with me.
Today this is what I was graced with...
Let's start with the Omaha Steaks - have I ordered them as gifts - yes. Do I want to order them for my singleness - no. Would I eat them if you sent them to me - obviously.
Now moving on to the "Belly Fat Blast!" - which will come in handy after my Omaha Steaks endeavor. This is slightly misleading. The subject states: "4 foods that KILL fat and 7 food chemicals that CAUSE it", however when you actually open the email, it says: "Now I'm not talking about specific foods…" UMMM well then what kinds of foods were you talking about when you said "4 foods that KILL"?! Just wondering.
Ok so "Find a Dentist" - pretty benign/typical spam. But what got me was the subject: "78 Million Americans Lose All Their Teeth". If that doesn't scare the b-Jesus out of you - I don’t know what will! Where do they get these statistics?!
FTD Flowers - why don't you just rub it in that I'm single?! That's why the "singles" ones and this are normally together. Along with the Omaha Steak - I'm depressed because I'm alone, I eat because I'm depressed, and then I go on a singles website?! I see what you are doing here Spam - I've got your number!
You can see the obvious connection to me and "X-Ray Technician" - so I won't even go into detail there. And lastly 1Ink, perfect now I can get all my toner needs from them - because I have many of them!
Soooo according to my spam box - I'm single, depressed from not receiving Valentine's Day flowers, I'm a future x-ray technician, I'll prob die because of all the Omaha Steak I ate and I failed to "blast the belly fat" and will most likely not have any teeth. BUT at least I'll have toner!!! So there you have it folks! Lizzie ….this is your life!!
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