Sunday, January 23, 2011


It all started one fateful night when Syrah and I found ourselves the only girls in our group that were up for a night on the town. After a wonderful date at Matchbox where we tried our hardest to rally and not fall asleep in our sliders – we decided to meet a group of guys (mostly Syrah’s friends) at this bar downtown. An important note is that this was probably like one of the first times I had gone out after Chaz and I had broken up – so I was trying to put myself out there and all my friends were pushing me to get back in the game! So off I went!

Shortly after we got there and a few redheaded sluts later – I found myself in the arms of a very good looking guy – the older brother of one of Syrah’s friends. His name was Bumble. I just thought he was the cutest thing and was taking an interest in me – which is not very common! So I did what any 20 something would do – I went home with him and we hooked up in his awesome basement bedroom – so romantic. And I actually now that I’m remembering this – I tried to block a lot out – I believe none other than Michael Jackson was playing in the background. The next morning was the usual – me trying to figure out where the hell I was, an awkward hug, and a bad case of “walk of shame” as my friend drove me to the metro.

So being the girl that I am – the following week I was so excited when I found out that he was going to be at a bar I was going to after the High Heel Races (drag queens running the streets of Dupont Circle the night before Halloween – a fine DC tradition). So after quite a few drinks and drag queens – we met up with the boys. I walked in and there was Bumble – my hopes were high and I was feeling good! After a few more drinks and several awkward looks/ stares – I got my liquid courage up to go talk to him. Here was my thought process – I’m a mature woman – I can talk to this guy and ask if he wants to grab a drink after work. I mean after all, we did share an intimate night with the Pop Prince. So that’s what I did – I went up to him and smiled my best smile (it’s propably also a good time to note that I have no game – like zero – most likely negative – most of my attempts come out awkward and never as I had envisioned). So we chatted for a lil bit and then I said, “Would you like to grab a drink after work this week”. He looked at me like a deer in headlights and despite his efforts – no words even came out of his mouth. To which I responded (ever so confident), “I mean if you don’t want to – its totally fine – just tell me that – no big deal…” And that is when he was able to form words again and said simply – while looking deep into my eyes, “I DON’T WANT TO”. There it is folks – I don’t want to. I’m sorry, WHAT?!?! Just four simple words. My response – I turned around – grabbed a random drink on the table where Ruby and Sydney were anxiously waiting for me to tell them about the date I had the next night, poured it down my throat, threw my hand in the air – made a circular motion with my index finger and yelled “Sydney” and out we went. I of course waited until I was in the cab to burst into hysterical tears and the poor cab driver was throwing napkins at me saying “stooopid boys”.


  1. Fantastic. My favorite line is "I mean after all, we did share an intimate night with the Pop Prince." Classic. Can't wait for more posts to read. Great job

  2. let's keep in mind that the cab driver was correct. boys are so stupid!!!!! :) keep up the good work! xoxo

  3. HILAR! britt sent me the link - great read and looking forward to more. BTW, that guy didn't deserve you anyway!

  4. can't even handle this. so classic.