Friday, March 25, 2011

"I'm Going To the Jersey Shore!!"

So last night was the season finale of our beloved Jersey Shore. Now I, like most, am completely fascinated with this show. It is a complete train wreck - but I quite simply can.not.stop.watching. I figured a fun little way to pay tribute to the last show of the season - before they head on over to Italy to make an embarrassment of themselves/our country - would be to do a recap of last night's show. I've put it in "bulleted" format, because I thought that might be the best way to capture it all.

• It began with a little tiff between Sammi & Ronnie - obvs. I'm so over them. They love, they hate, they have roid-rages, they straighten their hair. It's like a Guido rollercoaster! So they're fighting over whether or not Sammi hooked up with this kid like a million years ago - which she did but lied - which would ultimately be their demise. The Situation obvi has to get involved - why you ask - because Ronnie is all of a sudden his best friend.

• Deena and Vinnie then start fighting over the fact that Deena didn't want Vinnie macking on her best friend. I mean I kinda understand this. I heart Vinnie and all - but the boy gets around. I don't really think I'd want my BFF all up in his grill getting God knows what! Pretty sure I'm "Team Deena".

• They go to a BBQ at their T-Shirt shop manager's place. Everyone gets to invite 2 guests (hence Deena's BFF). JWoww invites her dad - like what is up with his hair?! Deena grinds with Uncle Nino.

• Can we just for a second discuss Pauly D's "larger" friend busting out the worm?! Umm that might have been the best thing I've seen on this show - EVER.

• It's now their last night down the shore and they are heading to a party. Snooki so eloquently puts her last night as a time to "screw an old guy, steal a plant go to jail". I mean - I couldn't sum up my end of summer better if I tried!

• JWoww and Roger are having this most awkward 7th grade conversation about if they should be BF/GF. Then they decide that she "is crazy about the kid" and all is lovesies. They make their announcement to the group and everyone reacts as if they just got engaged. Amazing.

• Back at the house (after Deena & Vinnie duke it out) Ronnie & Sammi are having another one of their epic fights. I'm so over them - so I can not even imagine living through them. I just loved that they "panned" to the whole crew as they listened to yet another blow by blow. The only thing that got me through that 60 seconds, was the Situations primary colored zuma pants.

I mean - seriously - where does one even purchase such an article of clothing. Unreal - totally need a pair for my spring wardrobe! The scene ends with Ronnie sprinting out of the house screaming "Sam I hate you" and crying like a little b*tch. So OVER IT!!

• Deena then insists on making Vinnie a grilled cheese - actually 2 - because that's what you do as a peace offering. She has her hookup with her, apparently he's tall. Best line of the night - Vinnie says to the guy: "Hey tree". Amazing.

• The episode closes with, SURPRISE, Ronnie & Sammi discussing their relationship status. I thought "you do you" was the theme of this season - but not so much. Ronnie is apparently heart broken and doesn't feel that Sam shows him that he loves her. I mean he really showed her by banging like 89 girls in Miami - so it's only fair. Anyways - Sammi has the look of constantly having poop under her nose and claims that she just isn't sensitive. They end it and they are leaving "single". But I'm sure by the time they reached the Turnpike - they were BF/GF again.

• They all say their good byes, only after Snooki plays a prank and tries to hide in JWoww's suitcase. Snooki then hurls her zebra print suitcase down the stairs. Ronnie packs up his gallon of protein powder. They all leave their beloved duck phone and another season is over.

Hope you enjoyed this little recap. I can't wait to see the shenanigans that ensue in Italy. Salute!!

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