Best Worst Break-Up Ever

So every year around Super Bowl Sunday, I’m reminded of my best worst break-up ever. It involves one of my stellar ex-boyfriends; we’ll call him, Todd. You’ll hear more about Todd in future posts – he’s really one for the books! Let’s just start at what would seemingly be the end and then we’ll discuss the “beginning” in a later post.

So Todd and I had been dating for over two years at this time, as I saw it, I was totally “in love” and he was “the one”. Oh how delusional I was, but I guess that is what your twenties are for! So at the time of this story, our relationship had taken quite a turn for the worse and I knew the end was most likely in site. It was the morning of Super Bowl Sunday and we were having one of our marathon fights. Oh and I should mention that at the time he was living in Florida and I was in Virginia, so we were long distance. I was actually going to visit him the next day in Florida – bags packed – ready to go! Basically after about an hour of fighting/discussing, he announced that he had to go because he, and I quote, had “a Super Bowl party to tend to”. To which I replied/yelled, “fine, I’m glad you’re little party is more important that our two year plus relationship!” And then I hung up. So basically I was in my apartment crying to myself still in my pj’s until about 4pm.

Two of my good guy friends came over to my apartment to find me in my state of self-pity and insisted that I come to a party with them. That was honestly the last thing that I wanted to do, I hadn’t eaten/showered/gotten dressed all day – I was a disaster. But they told me that I had no choice and I could either go like that or get dressed, but I’d be going! So I quickly changed and went to this party. I knew no one, except the 2 guys I was with. I took one sip of beer while I was in the kitchen, trying to make new friends, and BLANK! The next thing I remember is my friend standing over me, slapping my face, yelling “Lizzie! Lizzie!” I was lying on the floor – I had completely passed out. Ummm – just slightly embarrassing! I think I was just so stressed out, hadn’t eaten (I have a bit of a blood sugar issue) and that one sip – put me right over the edge! So my friends took me home, called my mom and stayed with me until I fell asleep. Totally nice. I felt awful and weak and embarrassed and just wanted the night to be over!

I had been asleep for a few hours when my phone rang. It was Todd and he seemed to be a little drunk. I picked up the phone and thus began the beginning of the end. I told him what had happened to me that night and his reply was, “Why didn’t you call me”, which I had tried to do, but his Super Bowl party was apparently in full swing! Then he continued with, I kid you not, “I can’t be with someone that doesn’t call me when they faint”. Oh, I’m sorry, what?! That doesn’t even make sense! Like I’m sorry I didn’t call you as I was heading towards the floor and express my love to you! So I kinda laughed, thinking he was kidding, and then I realized he was dead serious. After a few, “what are you talking about”s, he said, “I don’t love you anymore”. It was as if someone just punched me in the stomach. I lost my breath and I began to cry. That is probably one of the worst things you could say to someone that you love/loved. He went on to say that he hadn’t for a while and preceded to say some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me. After letting it sync in bit and being curled up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, I finally hiccupped out, “do you have anything else to say to me”. Silence. “Anything else”. Nothing. After a few minutes of me yelling into the phone, I realized that he had passed out. Yup, he passed out in the middle of our break-up. So there I was, it was the middle of the night, I couldn’t call anyone, knees to my chest rocking back and forth in my bed. I was a disaster. This was my first real break-up, first real broken heart and I couldn’t be consoled. I was up the remainder of the night just trying to make sense of it all. I just laid there staring intermittently at my ceiling and my bags that were fully packed awaiting our trip to Florida in just a few more hours. Finally I figured it made sense to just get up and go to work.

So I got up, put on God knows what kind of clothes, and went to work. I walked in the door and my boss/friend took one look at me and said, “Rough Super Bowl night”. I looked like hell. I looked at her and just burst into tears. She quickly ushered me into her office and tried to calm me down. I began to tell her what happened through many tears and gasping. At one point, she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sweetie, it sounded like you said he fell asleep, but I couldn’t hear you.” I just pitifully shook my head “yes”. That just put her over the edge, not that she needed much reason – she totally hated him already - and she started yelling. “Screw him. I hate him. You are never speaking to him again. You don’t deserve that.” And the rant continued. She finally stopped mid-sentence and exclaimed, “Wait – aren’t you supposed to be heading to the airport this afternoon?!” I just nodded “yes”. She was like, “absolutely not. We are cancelling your flight!” So she helped me figure that all out and made sure that everyone left me alone for the rest of the day. I just sat at my desk and tried to look like I was doing at least some work, but all I could do was stare blankly at my computer.

Finally the workday was over and I was heading out to go home. My phone rang and it was Todd. I picked up to him yelling, “Where the hell are you, I’m at the airport and your flight got in an hour ago!” I was like, “umm I’m in Virginia, and I didn’t get on the plane”. He yelled/cursed some more and asked why I didn’t get on the plane. I then filled him in and told him that he broke-up with me the night before and that he broke my heart in a million pieces. And folks what happened next definitely surprised me a lil bit – he didn’t REMEMBER! He completely blacked out and didn’t remember any of our conversation. He had NO CLUE that we broke-up!

So there you have it – that is by far – my best worst break-up story ever! Again, Todd will make future appearances, so you’ll get to enjoy more of one of the biggest jackasses that I ever dated! And this past Super Bowl marks the 5th Year Anniversary of one of the best things (in retrospect) that has ever happened to me!