I started having problems and went to one doctor after the next to try to figure out what the source of my pain was. Finally, I was recommended to this spine specialist. I walked in the office, same drill as every other office, signed in and finally went back to wait for him to come into the exam room. I heard a knock on the door and I said, "come in", however I was not anticipating the beauty that was about to enter! In walked Dr. Hottie. I was stunned, could barely get out words. First things first - check for a wedding ring! Wahoo - he did not have one (or at least didn't wear one!). Then he started asking questions and trying to figure out what was going on. I tried very hard to be articulate and not sound like a complete idiot. I was also trying very hard not to turn florescent purple and begin to sweat. Not sweating was a big fail. Ultimately, we decided that shots of cortisone (and a few other things) in my spine would be the best course of action. I couldn't process anything he said - I was still staring. I managed to get words out and replied "Sounds good to me - I can handle that" - what part of "cortisone shots" sounds good to anyone, btw?!?! So I scheduled my appointment and off I went.
Appointment day came and I made sure to look extra cute! He walked in the room and greeted me with a HUG; oh I'm sorry what…I think we're about to get married!! I could feel the sparks starting to fly! Things were good - I mean a hug - no doctors greet patients that way! OMG I was so marrying him! So he asked me if I was ready and briefly explained the "procedure". I was still just staring into space and imaging how good we'd look together sauntering about the streets of DC. So he left the room so I could get "prepped". The nurse came and brought me to another room with all these machines and crazy looking equipment in it. Umm I was starting to get a lil nervous now - what had I gotten myself into?! The nurse told me to lay face down on the table - and to unbutton my pants. I thought to myself - this was going in my spine, but I guess they have their reasons. Then in he walked and I just stared up at him as he hovered over me lying there with my face in a table. He was so casual about it - I was being all "this will be a piece of cake" and then it happened. The shots - oh they weren't going into my upper spine - they were going into my lower spine - and by that I mean my butt. The cute doctor was not staring at my butt! I was mortified and so uncomfortable by the whole thing! How could we start a relationship when he's already seen my butt?! I mean that's like the last thing I let a guy see - and usually by that point I'm drunk! So while I lay there processing this all - the worst pain I have ever endured in my life was about to happen. He put the first shot of anesthesia in and I thought that was it - then he said, "Ok hold on here it comes"! I thought I might pass out. I wanted to cry but tears couldn't even be formed. I looked up and must have just looked pitiful. He was like - are you ok - almost done - just one more side. WHAT?!?! I didn't know if I could do it - but before I could decide - needles were in! WORST! We said our good-byes - I tried to regain my composure and I left.
I had another follow up because things weren't changing and I did enjoy any chance to see him. Basically he said we'd try it one more time. So that's what we did. I think this time was even worse because I was anticipating the pain that would ensue. He jokingly said, “if this doesn't work you have full rights to punch me in the face.” To which I replied, “you better hope it does because I have a good right hook. A lil flirty banter never hurts!” And we repeated the same thing - again - seeing my butt - again me being mortified!
After that day I never saw Dr. Hottie again. I had to follow that visit with 6 months of physical therapy and then I moved to NYC. I still believe that we'll get married some day. I mean we are pretty tight - he did see my butt after all!!
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