Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Game Set Match

So I took all your advice - and by all I mean all 3 of you that "commented" and told me to do it - and I joined Much to my dismay, I figured it might be worth a shot. So I did my little profile, put up pictures of myself (obvi cropped because I don’t' have any solo action shots), and I hit "submit". And then I waited for the onslaught of suitors. Womp womp…pretty sure the next day I did not get a-one! Wahhhhhh! Why is this my life? I have even resorted to Match and a girl still can't catch a break! So I waited some more and gave it a full 24 hours. I got a few "winks" and then the fun began. The creepsters came out of hiding and have found their prey! Here is just one email I got, and let me describe the "sender". He looks like a serial killer, he has blond greasy hair that is slicked to his head, the one and only picture he has up is him up close and personal with the camera, he is not smiling, and it's in black & white. His "catch phrase" is: Looking for a girlfriend or penfriend. Oh, I’m sorry what?!?! Like what does that even mean - if you can't have a girlfriend you'll settle for a pen pal?! Oh and he is seeking females "18-35". Ok creepster! So this is the email I get from him. Subject: hi. Email: ur beautiful. Ewww I felt like I just needed to go to take a shower after I opened that up! I was so weirded out! Don't worry - I've already blocked him from ever seeing my profile again!

I also received this lovely sentiment, which I'm still trying to piece together. The subject of the email is: Smiles and this is what it said, verbatim (notice the grammar) and in this format:

I live on Lexington Av NYC ..I travel 1 week /month
if you are too busy In NY
the 2nd option is :
we can meet in London this week-end or Paris Next week-end
why you are :-)
I'm serious..try
or we can meet befor friday ( goind to Uk and france)
We can have dinner
why not ...
From DC to NY (3 hours / train )
meeting me in NY is 20 Min (Taxi)
meeting me in Paris (6hours)

Ok poetry! WTF?! I mean really - it doesn’t even make sense - like not even a little bit!

So…fingers crossed this online dating thing starts to pick up the pace! And for all you "encouragers" out there - ATHANK YOU VERY MUCH for making me do this and deal with all these whack jobs!!!


  1. HILAR! I love it. You knew this would happen, BUT be patience. I still say you should email the guys you like. Don't just wait around. Your next bfri or maybe husband could just be waiting for emails.

  2. um be patient not patience. I clearly went to the same grammar school as your suitor friend.

  3. can't stop laughing. (Taxi).

  4. Paris, Paris, Paris!