Mismatched

While in AC I had a few blog post “requests”.  One of which was more Match emails!  So I’ve compiled a few more of my faves for your pleasure and thought it’d be fun to dissect them and discuss!

Email: 

Good afternoon....Please forgive me if I am being forward but I must say I am captivated by your beauty and moved by your words.

Reaction:

Seriously?!  First of all – “captivated by my beauty” – puuulease – corniest line ever!  And “moved by my words” – my profile talks about how I enjoy Pinot Noir and french fries – a far cry from a Pulitzer!

Email:

Are you realllllly leading with a Journey song?? Hmmmm ... not sure about that one ... At least I went with Super Mario Brothers ...

Reaction:

Gut reaction – I pretty much hate you.  My lil “catchphrase” is “Just a small town girl…” because it’s not only catchy – but it’s true.  I mean I know he was prob trying to be funny – but insulting me is not so much funny.  And Super Mario Brothers – like really?!  Are you a 10-year-old boy??  Hein!

Email:

holy moly...you're a hottie! Can a man get a conversation? I know what you're thinking and YES I do have pics! Im just wary ofposting them online for the world to see! So, if you like, I can send you pics....care to chat?

Reaction:

Oh really, you know what I’m thinking?!  Pretty sure I’m not really thinking about your pics – I’m more thinking about what a creepster you are and how I think you need your spellcheck.  And not just that – but seriously – you’re “wary” of posting – then why the heck are you on Match?!  And to answer your question – no sir, a man can not get a conversation.

Email:

Ok, time to hit eBay to find that shiny armor to go with my white horse.

Peace, piece & peas!

Reaction:

Ok – kinda funny white horse – haha.  But then again, not so much – a lil cheesy.  But the part about this email that really got me was the closing – what does that even mean?!  I have no idea what he was even getting at!

Email:

So you're going to look and not going to say anything?....lol Wow, was my profile that bad?....lol You must've found out about my five illegitimate children across the U.S. that I don't take care of.....:-) Regardless, I wanted to say hi!

Reaction:

Ok so backstory, I clicked on this profile for like AN second, by accident.  And this is the email I get.  I didn’t even mean to click on it! Seriously – you’re going to call me out on it?!  And p.s. – “joking” about illegitimate children with someone you’ve never met – doesn’t really bring the lol’s!

Oh and for all who were wondering – the guy I had the date with the other night – has not contacted me again!  Like wtf?!  So do I reach out to him first?!  Is that too forward?!  This is why I hate this stuff – I hate the mind games that I now have to play. I thought he was into me – he texted me before I even got home from our date!  But maybe he had more wine than I thought, was a lil drunk, and then woke up Thursday and realized he wasn’t into me.  I mean seriously – I hate that I’m even writing about this now – why am I such a girl?!  And why do girls do this?!   Please enlighten me and tell me how I should proceed!!

And a quick update – so literally right after I wrote this and got all worked up about that dude and went on my lil rant – pretty sure he texted me!