Since I wasn't able to post yesterday, I've graced you all with a doozey of a story today! I'm currently at a work conference in Nashville, which I'll recap later on, so my internet services have not be too great! But I'll be back in the Big Apple Sunday, so I'll post again soon! Have great weekends and enjoy!!
Ok so this story does require a little bit of a back story. It's gonna be a long one! So in college I was good friends/flirted with/we liked each other with this guy, we'll call him Mutt (it's the only name that makes sense besides, Jerk). Ok - so Mutt and I were really tight, I was also close with his sister who was 3 years younger than us, and his parents adored me. When we were seniors - she was a freshman.
One night I found myself at a house party with basically none of my girl friends, but Mutt was there, so we hung out. We were getting along great, as always, when his sister called him. It was pretty late (around 3 am) at this point, so she was most likely a little tipsy and coming home from a frat party. Mutt got on the phone with her and chatted for a few seconds then handed the phone over, she wanted to talk to me. I got on and we did our normal - omg'ing, I miss you, heart you, etc. She then told me that a boy she liked asked her to come to his dorm room (obvi to make out) - I immediately told her to go (but be careful)! I mean this was college after all - and she had the biggest crush on this kid! So we hung up the phone. Mutt and I continued our game of Beirut and then it was time to go home. So he insisted on walking me home, ever the "gentleman". On our walk home he finally asked me what all the commotion was about when I was talking to his sister. I told him, not thinking it was a big deal…that's when all hell broke loose! He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me so seriously and said (with a few more expletives), "Don't ever talk to her again. You are a slut and whore, how dare you tell my sister to hook up with some guy." Oh, I'm sorry…WHAT?! I immediately took MAJOR offense to this, of course started crying and ran the rest of the way home. I got into my house, ran up my stairs, threw my bag down on my bed and was pacing about my room. No one in my house was even awake for me to spew my anger to! I turned on my "IM", because obvi that's what you do at 3 am in college. With that my phone was ringing off the hook. It was Mutt calling over and over again. Finally I answered and he said, "I'm sorry. I'm outside your house. Please come down, I need to see you and talk to you." Me being the idiot that I am said fine. So I grabbed my phone and headed down the stairs. ENTER trouble! I took one step down my flight of hardwood steps and FLEW down the rest. I face planted on our foyer floor. Like I basically did a belly flop off the top step onto the hard wood floor. Amazing. I immediately thought I lost all of my teeth. I was frantically patting at the floor expecting to find them all. My mouth was gushing blood. My phone was in pieces everywhere. I stood up, put my phone together, felt to make sure all my teeth were intact and walked out the door.
I got outside and proceeded to cover my mouth with my hand, like that was totally normal. Mutt started in on his apology and then realized that I wasn't moving my hand. He asked what was wrong, to which I replied, "nothing, I just want to back inside and go to bed". He accepted that for a few seconds, then noticed the blood dripping down my chin. He pulled my hand away, murmured, "holy crap"! At which point I felt like the cat was out of the bag and I needed to tell him what happened! He said that he needed to take me home to his house to clean me up and take care of me. I said fine, basically because he was the only one up at this hour and I really did need some assistance! So off we went to his house. He did as promised and cleaned me up and gave me some ice. He also kept apologizing profusely and needed to know if I was still upset. I began to cry and say that I couldn't believe that he could say such horrible things to me, that were not true (I was like a negative slut/whore), but above all else, I thought we were "friends". And then something happened that I never envisioned happening in my life - I was put on TRIAL.
Everything was fine and we were sitting on the couch talking - then he jumped up got a chair from the kitchen, made me sit in it and started pacing back and forth in front of me. And so it began. Mutt started out with questions like, "where were you on the night of…" and "did you or did you not tell (said sister) to hook up with some dude" and among my favorites "what is your relationship with Mutt (yes he was talking in the 3rd person)…do you or do you not regularly joke around with him". This went on for about a 1/2 hour. I sat there bewildered answering all these questions. It was among the most bizarre experiences of my life. Finally around 5:30 am I asked if we could go on "recess" so I could go to bed. He said yes, and we just went to his room to go to sleep, being that it was 5:30 and he didn't feel up for walking me home - we did just have a pretty intense trial after all. So he lent me a pair of short/t-shirt and we went to bed.
Cut to the next morning - I'll give you my roommates morning and then mine! My roommates wake up to the front door wide open. Blood spattered about the foyer. My bedroom light on, my bag on my bed, my bed completely made. Me NOWHERE to be found. They called and called my cell phone, straight to voicemail. Looked at their computers - I had "checked into" IM at 3 am - but then was idle. Basically they thought I was raped and murdered…obvi. They began to panic.
My morning - I roll over and look at the clock. Holy shiz it's 1pm (I never even sleep past 10 am)! How did this happen?! Look at my phone - battery is dead. I feel a throbbing on my face. My lip is about 10 times bigger than normal and I have blood crusted on my lips. I gather my stuff, put on my "going out shoes" from the night before. And prepare for the walk of shame. I was still in Mutt's shorts/t-shirt, I couldn't even focus on changing, I knew I had to get home to my roommates. Run down Mutt's stairs to find his roommates (also friends of mine) who took one look at me and one of them could only get out "looking good Lizzie". I told them to shut up and I kept on running! I ran all the way home praying no one I knew would see me!
I busted into my house to find my roommates and other friends all at my kitchen table. IThe poor things were so worried about me (side note - I heart my friends and we're all still good friends to this day!) . They jumped up hugged me and then looked at me. Stunned they said, "what the hell happened to you". And thus I began my epic tale of "the trial". To this day we still reference it and it took Mutt a VERY long time to admit that he actually did this. I mean I guess I can't blame him, it's freaking weird!