Things That Annoy Me - Volume 1

I don't know if it's the weather or the fact that I'm totally exhausted or what is going on - but I am Class A Cranky today! I'm so freaking grumpy! I mean I don’t know why I wouldn't' be excited for the snow we're getting tonight - I mean it is APRIL after all! Whatever the cause - I'm angry today and everything is just down right pissing me off. Soooo I've compiled a few things that really just annoy me!

1. SLOW WALKERS! I'm sorry but if you have to walk slow, that is completely fine, totally understandable - but please step aside! I can't stand it when someone knows that I can't get around them and they continue to move at the speed of a snail. And the worst is when I do try to get around them and their "spidey senese" kicks in and they cock block my every move! This is how I feel…

Like this morning - this woman and her damn umbrella were in front of me and I was trying to pass her - I go to the right - she goes to the right - I dodge left - she dodges left. Anyone behind me must have been dying laughing because I looked like a lunatic. Finally I yelled out (not quite meaning to be so loud) "SERIOUSLY?!", and when she turned to look at me, I was able to duck and roll! Small victories. Anyway - I just think there should be a "slow lane", if you will, on every sidewalk. Period.

2. Women that wear their hair down at the gym/working out. How can that be comfortable or fun?! When I work out it looks as if I have just jumped in a pool - I know I'm not the "norm" - but seriously, everyone sweats. Why would you want your long, flowing locks to be all messed up in that. Gross. It just makes me angry. Get a damn elastic and put your hair up!

3. People that only go one floor on the elevator. Now I work on the 13th floor of a building. And I get not wanting to walk 8 flights of stairs. But it just really gets me when people get on at the 7th floor and go to the 6th floor. I'm sorry - walk a flight of stairs!! You are holding up all the other people in the building. Obviously if you can't physically do it, I'm not talking to you - but for those of you that are perfectly healthy enough to hoof it up one flight - please, for the love of God - just do so!

4. Speaking of elevators - I hate it when people don't hold the elevator for you. You all know and have experienced what I'm talking about. They see you coming, they know you need to get on, and they hit "close doors". And if I'm quick enough to get there and just make you mad that I did in fact "make it" - this is what you'll see…

Because - seriously - you had to do that?! You had to close it on me?! Pretty sure I hate you and I say to you - Good Day!

5. People that get too close to me and are in my personal space. Obvi if I'm in a crowd or its necessary - it's fine. I'm talking about unnecessarily getting all up in my grill. For example, a few weeks ago I was at Nordstrom with my mom. We were in the shoe department - pretty standard - and I was going to try on a pair of shoes. The place was not crowded, so I picked a couch that was a little off to the side. It's a 3 cushion couch with "dividers" in the middle - they were like "arms" of a couch separating each cushion. Here's a visual…

So I sat on the one to the far left and began trying on my shoes. I kid you not this woman came over and I realized she was going to sit on my couch - which fine - there are 10 others to chose from - but it's fine. And then she did what I didn't even think was possible. She sat right between me and the "divider" of the cusion. So now the both of us were sharing one couch cushion. What the F?! I looked at her with such question and anger in my face - you'd think she'd get up. But no - she stayed right there and two of us were perched on this stupid cushion. My mom glanced over and burst out laughing and simply said, "only you - this would only happen to you!".

That little rant really helped my mood - it was very therapeutic! Do you have things that just really piss you off?? I'd love to hear them!! Other people's anger towards ridiculous things makes me surprisingly happy!

Missed Connections

I was out to dinner with my friend Heidi the other night.  She was in town from DC and I don’t get to see her much anymore, obvi since I moved to NYC.  We had a lot of catching up to do!!  So we were discussing our dating lives or lack there of and she was telling me about her friend that was on a date as we spoke.  She said she met this girl through “Missed Connections”.  At first I pretended like I knew what she was talking about, then it became apparent that I had no clue what that was – she explained.  For those of you that are as out of the loop as I am, it’s this site through Craigslist and basically it’s a sort of personnel ad section – but with a twist!  The twist being that you have encountered the other person at some point.  For example, I’m at this bar and meet a guy, we start to chat and have a great convo, then my friends want to leave and off we go.  I never got his number and we have no way of getting in touch.  So I go onto “Missed Connections” and write a description of the encounter and what he looked like.  If by chance he reads it, he will know it’s him and he’ll respond – we’ll go on date – fall in love – get married.  Obviously.

After my night with Heidi, I decided to go online and see what all the hype was about.  I got into the site and let me tell you – some of these are hilar.  There is one for every city and its prefaced with “w4m” – which I of course thought “wait for me”, after I looked a little bit more, I realized that in fact means “woman for man” or “man for man” and so on.  I thought I’d share a few of my favorites with you:

NYSC 36 and Madison 6:30pm - Hi Mr Green Shirt - m4m - 31 (Midtown East)
You arrived as I was getting out the shower, stared at each other a bit then you said hi as you left changing room

You're hot bro ;)
tv celebrity who i met today - m4m (looooong shot )
important news network guy i met earlier today at a midtown location (for business).........i want to be discrt
i hope you can make sense of this hint:
what to wear for the awards dinner?
i think you're smoking hot. you can have my ass anytime!
re: chat maybe more - w4m - 34 (new york)
I'll take a chance on you. What do you use for chat? I am on chatnuaghty if that's cool with you. let me know,,, either way.

Kimmy

LCD Soundsystem dance partner - Monday night - w4m - 29

Me: blond, black and white top and slightly intoxicated.

You: tall, cute, brown hair...

Had a great time dancing with you -- even if I did (embarrassingly) fall on the floor trying some poorly executed dance moves. :)

Sorry I left without saying goodbye -- had a great time so if you see this, would love to hear from you again. (I'll know its you if you tell me what part of T-5 we met)

Red Vespa Wave on Houston outside Whole Foods - w4m - 23 (East Village)

I saw you on a red Vespa with a red helmet; I waved hi to you at the stop light and you waved back. It was cute, and I wish you had offered me a ride.  

Anywho – Heidi’s friend was on said date – he had seen a girl at a bar in DC, posted to “Missed Connections” and she responded.  They set it up and went out.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t all she cracked up to be, brought her friends, and left him at the bar to go hang out with them within the first ½ hour – awful.  So this instance wasn’t totally successful, but who knows – it just takes one!  I personally find it creepy and stalker-esque - but who am I?!

Barcode

As I'm sure many of you are in my boat - I didn't always make the BEST choices in college. While I made sure I went to class, got good grades, created "networks" - some of my "social" decisions were less than stellar. Most of you were right beside me while these were taking place, sometimes cheering me on, sometimes joining in my stupidity (most of the time it was the latter). That being said - there is one particular "decision" that I'd like to discuss today. This "decision" goes by the name - Barcode.

I went to a small liberal arts college that was plagued with Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines, JCrew, Kate Spade and all things that are great. I melded right in, as did the majority of the campus. Of course there were a few that were "outside the box". One in particular was Barcode. Let me break this down for you…

1. He drove a motorcycle and also had a car -I believe it was Mustang
2. He more often than not was found wearing jeans and a white t-shirt - here's a visual, actually a few - he was a "cross" between these:

Minus the leather jacket of course...

By no means was Barcode as cute - but similar "bad boy" features

Again - minus the leather jacket - he had a lot of "Fonzie" characteristics

3. He was the allegedly the #1 drug dealer on campus - supplying the likes of many a "rich kid"
4. He had piercings
5. He had MULTIPLE tattoos - among them one that read something to the affect of "Death to the World", one that had the word "hell" in it, and my absolute FAVORITE one - was just simply a barcode on his neck:

Ok so now that I've painted you an image of Barcode - you can clearly see my attraction. He was like your typical "bad boy" type. Oh I should also mention that he was like 24 - when I was a junior in college - so I was 21 - and yes he was living in the dorms. He said he figured out his shiz a little later in life. Whatever floats your boat!

I first came into contact with Barcode when we were living in the same dorm. I realized that he was actually roommates with 2 of my friends then boyfriends. Jackpot! So we were hanging out in their dorm room/apartment and the 2 of us were really just hitting in off! I mean sparks were flying! So I did what any respectable girl would do - took him up to my room. Then things got a little cray cray. We just made out - nothing to redic - next thing I know - the kid takes my belt off with his teeth - oh, I'm sorry - what?! I didn’t know that was humanly possible.

It had this "clasp" - not easily "workable"!

And let me just show what kind of belt it was - not one that is easily taken off - in fact I - numerous times - had near bathroom emergencies when dealing with this belt. How the hell did this even happen?! Anyways - that sealed the deal - I was in love!

So our love affair continued and we made out when we saw each other - typical college. One day Coco said to me, "Where are you going with this? Do you honestly think you could bring that guy home to your parents?!" Point taken - my father would have a damn near heart attack and my mother would just sit there, prob in the corner rocking, wondering "where she went wrong". I did take this into consideration, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I mean I knew it was "wrong" on so many levels - but I just couldn't stop. He was my proverbial drug!

It all came to a screeching halt, however, one fateful night. We were walking home from one of the fraternity houses that we were at that night - obvi another amazing party. As he was walking me home - because he of course wanted to go back out - I mean it was only 3 am - he said the worst thing ever to me. He called me his "bitch". And not in a nice term of endearment way - I was his literal "bitch". Like I was at his beck & call and did what he said. OMG - I sobered up extremely quickly - whipped around in the middle of the field hockey field and yelled "I am NO ONE'S f'ing bitch! Do not come near me - I will walk myself home". And I did just that - I didn't even turn around. That was the last of Barcode. We of course saw each other periodically and I was cordial. He was always super nice to me and I do believe in his heart of hearts - he did not mean that at all. I'm sure he was on God knows what and it just came out. Or maybe he really did mean it and maybe in his eyes I was his "bitch" - for good or bad. Either way - my heart hurt.

I was sad for like AN second and then I found some other shenanigans to get into. Now he's just a fun story I talk about. He was my "bad boy". I never really needed another since then - I fulfilled that "requirement" on him. Which - in retrospect - is prob a good thing - I mean I got it out of the way early! Barcode is doing great things these days. He's really turned his life around. It was prob my "influence" in his life that got him back on track. He recalls the days & life with his "good girl" - and by that I mean "bitch".

Bills, Bills, Bills

Today I had a few interesting moments.  Another installment of “bills, bills, bills”! 

• In my office building at lunchtime they bring in a piano player to play in the lobby.  I think it’s a little odd – but whatever sometimes it’s nice to hear the music.  Normally they play things like show tunes – a little Beauty & the Beast, sometimes Billy Joel, things in that genre.  So today I go down to head out to grab my lunch and guess what was playing??  “I Wanna Know What Love Is” – oh, I’m sorry, what?!  What the heck kind of song is that to play at lunch piano time?!   Oh I also think it’s worth noting that the “pianist” was about 45, with long curly Michael Bolten-esque hair.  He was also swaying back and forth and mouthing the words to the song.  Awesome.
• I then go out to grab my lunch at the salad place down the block.  As I’m calmly walking – singing the rest of “I wanna know what love is…” in my head, this woman comes flying at me.  She was about 80 and heading straight towards me on her Razor scooter.  I’m sorry – I thought that those went out in 1998.  She was sailing along on the sidewalk and almost rolled right over me.  Good thing I have cat-like reflexes and was able to jump out of her way!
• When I got back to my office I came across this website – which completely changed my afternoon.  It’s a blog called – I’m Remembering – and it’s pretty much a legit “blast from the past”.  I was totally enthralled.  It’s all about toys, games, foods, etc. from our growing up era.  A few things caught my eye – things I haven’t thought about in awhile. 

This actually still gets me through my hung-over Sundays - reruns!

My sister actually had one - totally jealous!  It was mint green.

I mean - Rainbow Brite - it doesn't get much better!

We all had one - mine was a fabulous purple/pink.

I totally heared my sticker book - don't worry I had Michael Jackson stickers - Thriller!!

Best before bedtime snack in the summer!

          What are some of your things you’re “remembering”?

•  I made this great dinner tonight – totally low carb/fat.  I’m kinda obsessed and it was ridic easy and quick!  It was Deep South Shrimp & Sausage.  I subbed the turkey sausage for chicken (it cut the fat that much more).  I just ate it without any “sides” – and it was perfectly filling.  A simple salad would be a good accompaniment, too.

• I then rounded out my evening with a few episodes of Modern Family.  That show – honestly – I can’t even stand it.  I literally laugh out loud EVERY TIME!!  I. Just. Can’t.  So freaking hilar!  I don’t have that many shows that I have this reaction to – but this one – gets me every stinking time!  Cam’s facial reactions are priceless and all of the characters are just so on point!  If you don’t watch it/aren’t a fan yet – do yourself a favor and watch it/enjoy it!

"I'm Going To the Jersey Shore!!"

So last night was the season finale of our beloved Jersey Shore. Now I, like most, am completely fascinated with this show. It is a complete train wreck - but I quite simply can.not.stop.watching. I figured a fun little way to pay tribute to the last show of the season - before they head on over to Italy to make an embarrassment of themselves/our country - would be to do a recap of last night's show. I've put it in "bulleted" format, because I thought that might be the best way to capture it all.

• It began with a little tiff between Sammi & Ronnie - obvs. I'm so over them. They love, they hate, they have roid-rages, they straighten their hair. It's like a Guido rollercoaster! So they're fighting over whether or not Sammi hooked up with this kid like a million years ago - which she did but lied - which would ultimately be their demise. The Situation obvi has to get involved - why you ask - because Ronnie is all of a sudden his best friend.

• Deena and Vinnie then start fighting over the fact that Deena didn't want Vinnie macking on her best friend. I mean I kinda understand this. I heart Vinnie and all - but the boy gets around. I don't really think I'd want my BFF all up in his grill getting God knows what! Pretty sure I'm "Team Deena".

• They go to a BBQ at their T-Shirt shop manager's place. Everyone gets to invite 2 guests (hence Deena's BFF). JWoww invites her dad - like what is up with his hair?! Deena grinds with Uncle Nino.

• Can we just for a second discuss Pauly D's "larger" friend busting out the worm?! Umm that might have been the best thing I've seen on this show - EVER.

• It's now their last night down the shore and they are heading to a party. Snooki so eloquently puts her last night as a time to "screw an old guy, steal a plant go to jail". I mean - I couldn't sum up my end of summer better if I tried!

• JWoww and Roger are having this most awkward 7th grade conversation about if they should be BF/GF. Then they decide that she "is crazy about the kid" and all is lovesies. They make their announcement to the group and everyone reacts as if they just got engaged. Amazing.

• Back at the house (after Deena & Vinnie duke it out) Ronnie & Sammi are having another one of their epic fights. I'm so over them - so I can not even imagine living through them. I just loved that they "panned" to the whole crew as they listened to yet another blow by blow. The only thing that got me through that 60 seconds, was the Situations primary colored zuma pants.

I mean - seriously - where does one even purchase such an article of clothing. Unreal - totally need a pair for my spring wardrobe! The scene ends with Ronnie sprinting out of the house screaming "Sam I hate you" and crying like a little b*tch. So OVER IT!!

• Deena then insists on making Vinnie a grilled cheese - actually 2 - because that's what you do as a peace offering. She has her hookup with her, apparently he's tall. Best line of the night - Vinnie says to the guy: "Hey tree". Amazing.

• The episode closes with, SURPRISE, Ronnie & Sammi discussing their relationship status. I thought "you do you" was the theme of this season - but not so much. Ronnie is apparently heart broken and doesn't feel that Sam shows him that he loves her. I mean he really showed her by banging like 89 girls in Miami - so it's only fair. Anyways - Sammi has the look of constantly having poop under her nose and claims that she just isn't sensitive. They end it and they are leaving "single". But I'm sure by the time they reached the Turnpike - they were BF/GF again.

• They all say their good byes, only after Snooki plays a prank and tries to hide in JWoww's suitcase. Snooki then hurls her zebra print suitcase down the stairs. Ronnie packs up his gallon of protein powder. They all leave their beloved duck phone and another season is over.

Hope you enjoyed this little recap. I can't wait to see the shenanigans that ensue in Italy. Salute!!

Slim Shady

So before I get into this - can we just discuss for a second what happened to me last night?! I was babysitting for my nephew, so Giuliana and I took out to Pinkberry for a little treat. We had just finished and were ready to leave, look outside and it's the most insane hail storm I have ever seen! All I could think was - what the what is going on?! We had no umbrella, a stroller, and this precious little munchkin! We had like 4 blocks to go, too. So we strapped him in the stroller, covered him up as much as possible and began running. And by running I mean shuffling along the sidewalk because it was so slippery and I'm still recovering from that redic fall! People are flailing around outside, horns honking, some woman started to fall, Giuliana went to help her and basically she ripped Giuliana's arm out of the socket and almost took her down too. It was simply nuts. Then as we're running, it starts lightening. WHAT THE F?! Lightening and hailing in March!!! We finally made it home, my poor little pumpkin was a little traumatized - but nothing some fruit snacks, a hot shower, and a fabulous puppy movie couldn't cure! Basically - to sum it I up - this world has gone mad and it's starting to make me get more serious about recycling and taking care of this place!

Ok - so today's post. While away with the girls this past weekend, I got a request to talk about sunglass trends for the spring/summer. They are always the last thing I buy, but I have to admit - there is nothing like a new pair of shades! So here are a few of my favorites and ones I'd recommend!

Raybans: I'm actually on the market for a new pair of aviators, but you can never go wrong with a good pair of Wayfarers.



Aviator Cockpit $139



New Wayfarer $119


Kate Spade: I currently have a pair of her sunglasses and I'm mildly obsessed. I totally love them. Here are a few pairs she has out this season that I heart.

Aimee $178

Lainy $128

Cat Eye: These are all the rage this season. I'm not a huge fan for my face frame, but I do think with the right pair, they can look very chic!

Marc Jacobs "Extreme Kat Eye" $275

Kate Spade "Franca" $128

Tom Ford "Nikita" $360



Prada "Full Postcards" $225


Oversized/Retro: This has been a trend for awhile now. I think finding the right pair is the hardest part - I don’t like when they are too huge - to me it just looks like you have bug eyes!

Gucci Rectangle $295

Tory Burch with Logo Temples $149

Roberto Cavalli with Open Temples & Crystals $450 (wishful thinking!)

Enjoy and happy shading!!

Take Two

So Wine & Chocolate Guy texted me last week and asked me to hang out again!  So that’s a step in the right direction.  My weeks tend to get a little crazy and I knew I was going away this past weekend and this week is cray cray – so I threw out doing something Sunday when I got back from Long Island.  He agreed and said we’d talk on Sunday to figure out a plan.  Perfection! 

So after the weekend I had, please see previous post, you can imagine come Sunday how excited I was to have a date.  To say I was “raring to go” is an absolute LIE!  I was exhausted and cranky and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed with my PJs on and not leave until I had to go to work the next day.  I was kinda hoping he’d just forget, but alas – no such luck.  It had nothing to do with lack of wanting to see/hang out with him – I was just so spent!  Around 1pm I received a text from him asking if I was still up for hanging out – of course I replied, “Absolutely, I’m up for anything!”  Nevertheless, you can imagine how I felt when he said that we could go to this craft beer festival in Chelsea.  It was nice enough for him to think/plan our activity, so I felt like I couldn’t say I wasn’t up for it, but pretty much this was my reaction…

I said “so fun – see you there”.  So I dragged myself home, showered and tried to wake myself up.  The last thing on Earth that I wanted to do was go taste some beer – but I ponied up.  In my head this “festival” was going to be outdoors, so I layered myself up – jeans, boots, heavy sweater, down puffy vest and a cute scarf.  I felt semi-cute, all things considered. 

I finally get to where I’m meeting him and we say our “hellos” and then it came to my attention that this was in fact an “inside thing”.  So we go inside and it looks fun – but there are no places for coats, etc. and everyone is just walking around.  So I’m trying to go with the flow and start taking “samples”.  So we were having fun, walking around, tasting beer/food.  He knew a few people, so we were, once again, treated as VIP.  The longer we stayed there, the hotter I got.  At one point he was in the middle of this whole story and all I could think about was the sweat dripping down my back because of all my layers and “warm clothes”. 

When we’d had enough of the festival, we decided to grab dinner.  We went to this cute wine bar and had a few drinks/small plates.  The conversation was good and I don’t think I even embarrassed myself! 

So all in all – second date was a success.  I texted him and said I had a great time and thanked him for everything (he once again paid for everything).  He texted right back that had fun too and we’d hang out again soon.  So I’ll keep you all posted on our progress!!

The Hags Take On The Wineries

First things first - I'd like to give a shout out to the Tufts Women's Lacrosse team.  I had the pleasure of watching them play and they made a valiant effort in their game today - you'll get them next time girls!!

Second off I'd like to holla at my girl Charlotte - Happy 30th and welcome to the club!! This past weekend I had the pleasure of celebrating Charlotte's birthday at the wineries in Long Island. Here's a little bit of how the weekend unfolded…

Since the other girls were coming in from out of town we decided to just meet in the city for dinner and wait for everyone to get there. Then we'd trek out to Long Island to stay at Charlotte's for the weekend. I left work at 5 and Hilary was already in town. Coco & Sydney were en route and would be in shortly..I arrived at the place we were all meeting up, we put our name in for a table and then headed downstairs to put away our bags and grab a drink. Hilary & I hadn't exchanged too many words at this point, as we were just rushing around. So when we get to the bar I ordered a beer and Hilary asked for water - thought it was a little strange, but whatever. We then go to sit down and it becomes clear to me why the water was a necessity. It seemed that Hilary took herself out with her sister and had been drinking since 2pm. Pretty sure she was drunk and words were a little difficult. We eventually got to our table and Coco arrived. She sits down, Hilary says a sentence, and Coco looks at me and says "what the hell just happened…were those words or what is going on?!" With that Hilary spills her water on the table - not once but 3 times and then gets lost on her way back from the bathroom. In all fairness - it was a big bar and very confusing - so totally understandable. But the best part was is that she asked the girl at the coat check (which was nowhere near our table) where her friends were. So needless to say the coat check girl was no help and after about 20 minutes, Hilary found us! Shortly after, Sydney rolled in and by that point we all agreed that Hilary had drank enough water and so we all had a few beers! When we wrapped that up, we realized that we only had about 10 minutes to sprint to Penn Station to make our train out to Long Island - womp womp! So we all started running and as we got into Penn, I realized that Duane Reade had cans of beer like right by the entrance - so with just 4 minutes to spare, I raced in, grabbed 4, and we literally ran onto the train. Which brings us to the next thing, there were about zero seats. Awesome. So we wound up having to squeeze into a 6 seater (3 on one side facing 3 seats on the other) with 2 older people and Hilary sat across the aisle. Basically we were sitting with our grandparents and things got awkward when we started cracking open our beers. Finally we reached Charlotte and were taken hope immediately. We were very responsible once we got there, only had a few more drinks, and went to bed at a reasonable hour. We did, after all, have to get up at 8am to get ready for the festivities!

Saturday morning came and we were all up and raring to go! While getting dressed and trying to figure out our ensembles, Sydney boldly stated, "I mean it doesn't really matter what the rest of you look like, I clearly look the best. Soooo I mean deal with that." Redic. The party bus was coming at 9am, so we made sure to carbo load so we could make it through the day. There were about 40 people all together going on this little journey, so the bus was ginorm. The best part, however, is that they sent us the wrong bus. We get on and there is leopard print everywhere, leather seats, a stripper pole in the middle of the bus, oh and a huge leak in the back and water was pouring in. So we needed a new bus for that purpose mainly, but it was a little awk with the stripper pole, I mean her parents were coming with us! And as the day wore I on I had visions of Sydney swinging herself around it. So we had to make a quick detour, get a new bus and then we were off!

The four of us,(me, Sydney, Hilary & Coco), snagged a table in the front of the bus - amazing location! We then got the party started! Mimosas were flowing and things were in high gear. We got the first winery and did our first tasting. It was so fun. We then decided that it would be in our best interest to buy 1 bottle of wine from each vineyard and split that among the 4 of us. That would be in addition to the tastings, of course, oh and the beer/wine/champagne on the bus. Why is this my life and why do I think these things are normal?! As we were sitting there enjoying our wine, this is what began to happen. It seems that there was "live music", so next thing we know this man, actually his name was "Don", gets up and starts belting things out - it was so awkward and strange. You can see/hear the audio portion on my Facebook Fan Page ( OR click on the Facebook link on the right side of my page).  Here's a visual:

The next vineyard was only like a second away and we did our same "routine". By now we were starting to feel pretty good. We had fun there and then had to pile back on the bus to head to the last place. Now this was by far my fav, maybe because I was pretty tipsy by this point, maybe it's because Sydney insisted on buying a "cupcake plate", I don’t know. But whatever the reason, we had so much fun. They also had "live music" and this guy was off the chain. He had himself and a guitar and sang crazy songs. At one point he belted out (slash rapped) Eminem & Dido's "Stan" - I mean unreal - and he was alone singing 2 parts. Cray cray! We finished up there and headed home. We were all pretty bombed at this point, but we had so much fun on the bus home. At one point this was an actual conversation:

Hillary: I really love the camaraderie on buses!
Coco: It's true, I've really had some good times on buses!

So that just about sums it up. We got back to Charlotte's, had dinner and some birthday cake. Most of the group had cleared out, but we were still in full effect! We decided that it only made sense to play college drinking games and a rousing game of "A**hole" ensued! Eventually we got tired and called it a night around 2 am. That was a serious day for us!

The next day we have all never been crankier and once again, we were acting like old hags. There was a little yelling, some nasty comments, things of that nature, followed by laughing about how ridiculous we all sounded. We all made it back to NYC unscathed.

Another successful weekend with the girls - miss the insanity already! And one of my fav lines from Saturday night - as we rolled up back to Charlotte's house as total messes, Sydney claimed, "You know what's weird? I look just as good as when I left the house!"

Happy Freaking St. Patrick's Day!

For all you that know me, you know that St. Patrick's Day is among my favorite holidays. I literally LOVE it. I always wear my green and do a lil jig! It's just my fav. Yesterday, however, seriously disappointed and I would like to never re-visit it again. Sorry to get all "whomp whomp" on you, especially on a Friday, but I warned you , these posts wouldn't always be candy & butterflies - thus is my life!
So I began the day putting on my lil green dress - so excited. I tried to get my boots on over my "wrapping" for my foot - that was an adventure - but eventually I was able to shove it in! Get to work and it's all kinds of annoying. You know those days when the second you cross the threshold of your employment you just feel like you might punch someone. That's how I started.

My office is literally right on the parade route, so I figured it'd be total funzies to check out the old St. Patrick's Day Parade on my lunch break. I also needed a reason to just get out for a little bit and get away from my desk! So I head out and my secretary is yelling "bring back a nice Irish boy for yourself" - I'm all lol'ing. As I'm walking up to 5th Avenue I hear the bagpipes and immediately my mood changes - I love the sound and I'm so glad I came out. As I get closer to the parade route, my mood takes a sudden 180 degree turn, things went south pretty quickly. I have NEVER in my life seen so many drunk tweens/teenagers. It was absolutely disgusting. Now I know I sound like an 80 year old, screaming, "where are their mothers?!", but seriously guys, it was atrocious. At one point I looked over and some kid feel flat on his face, and standing around him were all his drunk cronies yelling & screaming about how hilar that was. Then I turned to find 2 girls, about 14 years old wearing basically no clothing and trucker hats that said "DRUNK" on them. Now I'm sorry, but what business do these girls have parading around NYC in ensembles like this?! Again - I know I sound like a cranky old bat, but this really "rained on my parade"!!

I headed back to work, wrapped it up with a 2 hour conference call and some other fun things of that nature. I decided I wasn't going out because I'm heading out of town this weekend and needed to get some things done. Got a manicure, which I promptly smudged. Awesome. And then I went home to clean/pack.

While I was in the midst of throwing God knows what into a bag, I got the worst phone call from my mom. Our beloved family dog needs to be put to sleep today. He's a 12 year old Golden Retriever and has been such a huge part of our lives, he's our family. I burst into tears, uncontrollable, totally lost it. I love that dog so much - he's the best dog a girl could have. I was just beside myself. If any of you have had to put pets to sleep/lost a pet, you know what I'm talking about. It’s the worst! Basically I cried myself to sleep last night and I'm currently at work just trying to choke back tears.

So I hope the luck of the Irish was on your side yesterday, because apparently, they "skipped" me! Sorry to be all "Debbie Downer" - I'll be more fun next week - promise! XOXO

Things I Heart On The Interweb

I've received a few requests to do a post about different blogs/sites I like to frequent on what we like to call the "interweb".  I didn't include the obvis, such as Perez Hilton and Facebook (which I hope you'll all "like" this page…just saying!).  Basically I get to work every morning and before I start my actual "work" I have to go through a few websites first!  So, I've put together a little list accompanied by an explanation of why I love it/need to check it daily!  Enjoy and happy surfing!!

2Birds1Blog - this little gem is something I've been an avid reader of for a few years now.  One of the main writers (Meg) cracks me up - like I pee my pants.  She's hilar and I highly recommend you take a read!  They are also coming out with a new book - pretty sure I can't wait for that!

Hey Lady - as I have mentioned in the past a good friend of mine writes this blog.  I love her fashion tips and it's always a good read! 

Hay Girl Hay:  I Need An Adult - this is something I've just found!  I'm obsessed.  This girl is very funny and we are so on point - we're like right on the same level!  She posts frequently - so it definitely keeps me occupied all day!

Loafers Sans Socks - again this is newer to my "repertoire".  He's just "changed" the layout of the blog and what he is going to write about, so I'm curious to see where it goes.  He posts a lot of great pics and some interesting commentary.

The Lo Down - this is Lo Bosworth's blog.  I genuinely enjoyed her on Laguna Beach, followed by her stint on then The Hills.  I find her blog to be fun and a good source for what's "hip".  And as you can see I use words like "hip", so I could use some help in that department! 

Goop - I must confess - I heart Gweny!  And her appearances on Glee have only made me love her more!  She only posts about once a week, so I only check this one every now and again.  This blog isn't as much "fun" as it is insightful.  It's more of my "grown up blog" for when I feel like I need to be mature.

I'm always looking for more things to keep me occupied at work, so if you have a fav blog/website - send it my way!! 

Loooorrrrryyyyy’s

We had a friend’s bach party down at Long Beach Island, NJ.  When I found out the location I was psyched.  I had been going to LBI for years (since I was little) and I couldn’t wait to go back to my old stomping grounds with all the girls!  I was a little skeptical, however, when I heard we were staying at this place called Lorry’s.  I had never heard of it, which was really weird because I knew pretty much everywhere on the island – red flag #1.  The weekend we were about to embark on was more than I could have ever imagined. 

Most of the girls started the weekend early and got there Thursday night.  Ruby, Hillary & I couldn’t get out of work, so we had to meet the group Friday night.  Our ride was awful and we thought we might be in a brief horror movie when we were driving down these deserted streets with no other cars in sight and it was pitch black.  But alas, we made it!  As we pulled up, this is what we saw (only it was dark so we didn’t get the full affect until the next morning):

Please take note of the teal paint and the beautiful "deck" work.  I'd also like you all to notice the multiple flags and other paraphernalia around this spectacular motel.  

By the time we got there, the rest of the girls were raring to go.  We threw our stuff down and got ready quickly.  We had to get to The Shell!  For those of you not familiar, The Shell is this amazing beach bar – and by amazing I mean dive bar ridiculousness.  See what it looks like in the daytime below…

We get in, shot gun a few beers, totally normal – we needed to catch up.  There was an amazing cover band there that night and we were having a blast.  All of a sudden I look over to see this guy heading towards me.  It was a blast from the past – an old flame!  Sydney refers to him as Big Face, so I’ll keep with that.  Apparently he has like the biggest face people have ever seen.  He’s actually quite cute, but point taken, his face may be a bit large!  Big Face approached me and gave me a kiss/hug saying all the right things.  I had just broken up with that one douche bag, Todd, so I figured, what the hell – I’ll just go with it!  A little back story - Big Face and I had known each other for years - since we were "kids".  I would see him every summer and we'd made-out a few times in the past!  Next thing I know I’m at his beach house, in his bed, nbd.  Next morning he drove me “home”.  As we’re pulling up, he was like – “why the hell are you staying here?!”  I totally understood where he was coming from.  I as I looked around I noticed we were next door to a trailer park – yup the only one on the island.  As he was walking me to my room, I also realized the “manties” that were hanging on the clothesline.  Amazing.  I got to my room and ran inside to recap with the girls.  I crawled into bed with Ruby & Hilary and we began our discussions!  It seemed that Hilary got a lil too tipsy the night before and accidentally walked into someone else’s room and I believe got into bed before she realized that the people in there were not with us.  So she ran out screaming.  And the rest of the girls had caused a bit of a ruckus, as well.  Therefore, it made more sense when were summoned to a “meeting” with management the next evening.  After a day on the beach, we all had to sit in the “courtyard”:

And listen to this man yell at us and tell us how unruly we were and if it didn’t change he was going to call the cops and evict us.  Oh I’m sorry because by looking at this place I’m sure you have such fine upstanding clientele.  We all apologized profusely and promised we’d be good.  After all, we only had one more night, we could make it!

So we all retreated to our rooms to get ready for that night.  While I was in the shower, I realized, as did all the other girls, that it appeared to have a hole cut into shower (right under the shower head) just big enough for a camera.  Now I’m not saying they were def taping us (and all other guests), but it did seem strangely odd.  So I showered as quickly as I could – I mean I’m not even sure the soap was out of my hair.  As I reached out to grab my towel, the towels were so voluptuous!  And by voluptuous, I mean it was a hand towel that barely covered my butt - by no means am I indicating that I have a small butt - but it's not like ginorm.  And not only was it small, it was sooo rough!  Seriously it was like a washcloth made out of a Brillo pad!  So that was fun.

That night we went out and celebrated our friend’s final nights as a single lady!  We had a great time – went to another fun bar with a great band.  Had way too much to drink and grabbed late night food!  We had a blast! 

Lorry’s will forever be held near and dear to my heart.  Not only was it a great weekend with great girls, but also it gave us great memories and stories.  I mean manties, cameras in the shower, getting yelled at by “management” and a recurrence from my old flame Big Face! 

To The Dance Floor

This is one of my all time favorite stories.  Every time I think of it, I can’t help but giggle.  It all began in beautiful Charlottesville, VA.

I had entered a half marathon in Charlottesville and my two friends, Ruby & Sydney, were kind enough to join me and cheer me on while I ran.  Since it was about 3 hours away from DC, we decided to make a weekend of it.  We drove down Friday after work, another epic road trip.  We got into town and went straight to check me into the race.  While checking in, this woman decides to go on and on about how ridiculously hard this course was and kept talking about this ginormous hill, called Old Garth Hill and how it’s just insane and she hoped I trained on hills.  I laughed awkwardly, while thinking to myself that maybe I should just skip the race and head back home.  I had trained and worked hard, but on FLAT LAND!  I didn’t really have many hills where I lived, so I did what I could.  I just hoped I’d make it.   We left there, grabbed dinner and headed to our luxurious hotel.  And by luxurious I mean not at all.

The next morning was the big race!  I had to be at the start line at 6 am.  Sydney & Ruby drove me there and insisted on “pumping me up” on the way over, therefore they blared “Crazy Bitch” with the windows down.  The got me set up and all ready, I even got interviewed by the local news!  Amazing – but pretty sure that got left on the cutting room floor.  So they stood on the sidelines and the gun went off – I was in it now!  I ran the race – that hill was absolutely awful and I came around the corner to the finish line and there were Ruby & Sydney waiting for me – cheering me on the rest of the way!  I crossed and was so relieved that I made it – and I even beat my time!  I found the girls and they told me about their morning, they left the race after I had started, went to McDonalds and then ordered a few things from QVC.  After about 2 hours, they came back just in time!

We decided to head to brunch after, which was delish.  After brunch Ruby decided that she needed a haircut/eyebrow waxing.  She went to this random salon and came back, luckily WITH eyebrows, but her hair was all jacked up.  Thank God she had ordered her Wen hair care products on QVC that morning! 

So after we all took our naps, we thought heading to a winery was in order!  We needed to go out and celebrate!  The place was great, we had a tasting and then just sat outside with a bottle of wine and a wheel of cheese – I couldn’t have been happier!  After we were done with that, we had an interesting cab ride to dinner.  Our cab driver was quite entertaining.  He informed us all about (and we had to hear the story 5 times), how in high school he almost made the pros – but he missed the last shot of his school basketball tournament.  But you have to understand that this man was about 40, so he was really hanging on to this incident. 

We went to dinner and had a great time then decided to go to a local bar.  There we decided to that it only made sense to start getting pitchers of Blue Moon – totally normal.  So that was that.  When we had enough there, we were ready for some dancing!  We had seen the local college “dance club” the night before, so we figured it made sense to go – I mean we’d totally be able to fit in.  So we headed over.  We walked in and immediately got ourselves a few beers.  While we were standing by the bar, trying to get the lay of the land, we hear one of our throw back songs come on.  Oh I should mention that it was 80s night and we were prob the only people in there that could actually say they lived in the 80s.  All of sudden we hear “The Right Stuff” come booming over the speakers, Ruby got so excited turned around, looked at us and yelled, “TO THE DANCE FLOOR” – Sydney and I were closely behind when all of a sudden Ruby trips (she didn’t realize there was a step up to the “dance floor”) and flies across the floor!  All these college kids are just staring at her and Sydney and I go rushing over.  She’s lying there, can’t move, but don’t worry, she didn’t lose ONE DROP of her beer!  We pick her up and try to see if she’s ok.  We bring her into the bathroom and realize that she can’t really move her wrist.  So we danced to a few songs and then called it a night.  Of course on the way back to the hotel we needed to stop for pizza.

The next morning Ruby could barely move her arm.  I actually had to dress her, good thing we’re such good friends!  She eventually had to go to the doctor, but luckily it was just a bad sprain.  I figured out of all of us, I’d be the one coming home injured, but that’s just how we roll in our group – you just never know! 

Moral of the story – be careful when you hear a “classic song” – make sure you know where the dance floor is before you go full speed ahead!  And now…TO THE DANCE FLOOR!

Falling Into Friday Night

“It’s Friday night, and the moon is bright.  Gonna have some fun show you have it’s done…TGIF!”  That was the lil tune  (obvi the theme song to TGIF when I was growing up) in my head Friday afternoon as I was getting overly pumped for my big night out.  Guilana and I were going to a concert and I was so in need of some fun and a few cocktails!

We met for dinner at Dos Caminos and another friend popped in to share a few apps with us.  We were having a great time.  The concert opened its doors at 6:30 pm, so by 7:15 pm, we figured we better head over.  We walked over, got in and got our “drinking bracelets”, looked around and realized the average age of our concert goers was about 16, I’m talking there were parents there because their kids were too young to go alone.  Awesome.  We noticed that in addition to the “warehouse” style standing room only section, there were there stadium seats that were available to anyone.  We decided that we needed to digest a bit and it would make more sense to take a seat, for at least the opening band and then head down after.   We walk up and the only seats we could find were in the last row.  NBD – we sat down and just took it all in.  After about 5 minutes my Mexican food was wreaking serious havoc on my stomach so I broke out the Tums, which Guilana put her lil pawn out for a few herself.  So now we’re not feeling old at all…I mean we’re sitting in the top row, sans drinks, far away from the speakers so our ears don’t hurt, and have just taken our nightly dose of Tums.  I mean talk about 2 hot pieces of ass!  Oh wait, that didn’t matter because we would have been arrested had we picked up any of the “boys” that were there.

The first band (opening act) was fabulous.  We fell in love and planned our groupie strategy to follow them and go to their next concert.  The band was The Prigs and they were so fun.  They are Brooklyn based and have a great sound – totally into them.  While we were waiting for the headlining band to come on, we decided a bathroom break was in order.  And this, my friends, is where things went terribly wrong. 

First, let me give you a visual…

As you can see we were pretty high up in the last row on the right.  If you notice on the very last row, there are only 3 seats, the 4^th is missing – actually it’s just a drop down into the aisle with about 3 steps.  Its pitch black and I really needed to go to the bathroom.  Another lil fact about me – I have the bladder of a 3 year old.  I go to step down and I miss the first step and off I go.  I fly across the aisle, ricocheting off the seats in the opposite row and land at this old man’s feet.  I’m just lying there, not certain of what just happened.  Guilana was grabbing her bag when all this “went down” and looked over to find me in the fetal position.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  I was in utter pain and realized that I couldn’t move my foot.  I pulled my body up, sat there for a good 10 minutes trying to compose myself.  I could feel my right shin ballooning up, my left arm aching, and my left foot could not hold any weight.  Amazing.  Like how the hell did this happen?! 

We headed back to our seats after I convinced Guilana that I was fine and that I just really wanted to at least hear one song.  The band finally came on I heard one song, looked at her and decided I couldn’t handle the pain anymore.  We got up to leave, I had like 100 stairs to climb down, and basically I wrapped myself around each railing.  Then push my way through the tweens.  Finally we got out grabbed a cab and came back to my apartment.  We got in, threw our coats down and I took off my shoe to have a look at the damage.  Neither one of us spoke, Guilana just said “ok, so I’m gonna get some ice”.  I kid you not, I had the equivalent of half a lemon on the side of my foot.  I had like the ultimate kankle.  Oh and I should mention that this was all before 9 pm.  FML.

So, I’ve spent my whole weekend with my foot elevated and icing and downing Advil like it’s my job.  I now have it wrapped up and praying that will help with the swelling.  I’m just hoping that I’ll be able to negotiate my way into/home from work in the morning.  Needless to say, that mile each way tomorrow is not happening! 

Basically I just have the most amazing luck.  Looking back I can laugh a lil bit, but it hurts, like literally hurts.  However, trying to be the optimist, I keep repeating the words my mom said to me when I called her to tell her what happened, “welp, at least you weren’t on a date!”  Touché mom, touché!

The Night I Went From Zero To Hero

Here's a lil tale about 3 friends whose friendship was tested, but ultimately prevailed.  It all started in the DCL (Deep Creek Lake, MD - for those that are unfamiliar with the lingo).  You see Ruby's family has a condo right on DCL and Ruby kindly invited Sydney and I out to use the condo for a girl’s weekend.  We left DC and started the journey, what was in store for us, we never saw coming.

Since DCL is about 3 hours away from DC, it was quite a ride on Friday night after work.  We of course got stuck in heinous traffic, needed to stop at Chick fil-A for dinner, we also had Ruby's beloved dog (RIP) with us, so a few bathroom breaks were needed.  Basically we didn't get out there until fairly late.  As soon as we arrived, we got our "necessities" (wine & snacks) and began our weekend of fun.  We had a few drinks on the balcony of her condo that overlooks the lake - so pretty and then decided to head out to a local bar for the night.  The bar was sooo fun - small town feel - great people - great music.  We had the pleasure of encountering Ruby's ex-boyfriend; we'll call him Spencer.  Now let me paint you a picture of Spencer, he has this most tightly curled blondish/brownish hair, he's skinny (like you can see his rib cage skinny), I'm not sure if he owns a shirt because I've never seen him wear one, and my fav part, he wears these "spectacles" (as Sydney coined) that are tiny round "Lennon-esque" glasses.  Amazeballs.  We decided to stay at this bar for a while, wound up closing it down and then decided it was time to head home - I mean it was like 2 am.  We were all quite tipsy and in rare form.  We got back to the condo and immediately started making/baking food - pizza bites among other things.  Quickly threw on our PJs and were ready for a relaxing post-bar recap!  Ruby had to take her dog out and Sydney followed her for some "air".  I was in the kitchen by myself, when I realized I was by myself, so I figured I'd just go join the girls.  I walked out the front door, greeted them, all omg so glad you joined us, etc.  So the 3 of us and the dog were in the parking lot of the condo complex loving each other and life.  After about 5 minutes of this we decided we should head back in - it was getting chilly and our bare feet/boxers & t-shirts weren't doing the trick!  We go to get back into the condo and there is just one problem - the door is LOCKED!  No one informed me (I mean why would you say this though) that when you went out of the front door it locks automatically!  Whomp whomp.

We all begin to immediately panic - it's now almost 3 am, we have food in the oven, we're in our PJs, no shoes, no cell phones, no nothing!  Ruby thought there was a spare key - no dice.  So we run around to the back of the condo, which by the way we're in the middle of the woods.  No lights, no cars, nothing but darkness…and a lake.  And none of her neighbors were around because it was after Labor Day (in early September).  There are rocks everywhere - our feet are all bleeding.  I'm in a complete panic because obvi I did this!  We go around back and again try to find a spare key - Ruby is crawling under her back patio to see if there is a key - cobwebs/bugs everywhere.  After a lot of "trying", we all just accepted the fact that we'd have to spend the night out there and wait until the morning to walk to the closest pay phone (like a mile away) and call her parents/locksmith.  So basically I'm in tears, I know Ruby is pissed at me.  We were all arguing/fighting.  We basically went to separate corners of the yard and just stayed away from each other.

Next thing I know I hear this rumbling coming from the front of the condo complex.  I'm now getting nervous thinking we're all going to be raped and murdered, Ruby's dog is too little to scare anyone away, and no one would be the wiser.  Awesome.  Then I look up and I see this figure hauling ass down to the backyard - it was Sydney with a huge garbage can.  WTF did she think we were gonna do with that?!  She had the brilliant idea that we were gonna use this somehow to get back inside.  So we all put our brains together and concocted this idea.  We gathered up all the lawn furniture from the other condos and stacked it on top of this garbage can, which btw was on wheels.  We figured that if we could reach the deck of the condo, then we may be able to get up there and get through the door on the deck that goes inside - obvi and then unlock the other door.  So we start stacking and now we're all giggles and happy and loving each other.  Question - who is going to be the pour schmuck that has to do the climbing?!  Well Sydney is too short and Ruby and I are both tall, Ruby is scared of heights - enter ME!  Let me also have you know that this deck is about 15 feet off the ground (that's just to the bottom/floor of the deck), we have no cell phones, I'm climbing up a "makeshift" ladder, that is not stable, and if I fall/die, I'm done for because we couldn’t even call 9-1-1.  So, sweet.  And before I go any further, let me give you a few visuals of the condo complex and just how high we're talking…

I say a prayer and "trust my sisters" (we were all sorority sisters and that is what they kept chanting to me).  Ruby & Sydney are planted firmly on the ground arms as tight as possible trying to hold our "ladder".  I climb up onto the garbage can - it's not to sturdy.  Then Ruby is trying to grasp tightly onto the patio chair that we have on top of that.  I climb up - again wobbling - I'm getting pretty scared.  I reach up hoping that I'd be able to reach the rungs of the deck so I can hoist myself up and over the railing.  No dice.  I need another chair.  Sydney grabs one and we stack that on top of the other chair (on top of the garbage can with wheels), I'm panicking at this point.  Still can't reach.  I look down at the girls and tell them I love them.  I'm gonna try to jump so if I fall to try their best to catch me.  I leap up grab the rungs and with some super human strength, I pull my body up the rungs, lodge my foot in between, stand, and hoist my body over the deck.  I get up - walk over to the door - and thank GOD we neglected to lock it before we left for the bar.  I opened it up, ran to the front, let my friends in.  We all stood in a huddle crying, laughing, and cheering for a good 5 minutes.  We then shut the oven off, took out our charred pizza bites and called it a night.  None of us spoke and we all went to bed. 

That night, words were said, tears were cried, friendships were tested.  However, the bonds of "sisterhood" triumphed and I went from the worst person ever to the Hero of DCL! 

P.S.  Ruby obvi told her parents about this situation and her father promptly fixed that lock and a new "spare" key has been re-instated in a secret location that only Ruby's parents, Ruby, myself, and Sydney are privy to.