The Day I Resorted To Violence

Now let me just preface this story and say that I am not a violent person and I don’t condone violence in any way shape or form. I'm actually the girl that can't even watch hockey because it makes me sick to my stomach when they fight. During movies - I close my eyes at the hint of any violent scenes. I absolutely hate it and it makes me sick. Ok - so now for the situation that I found myself in and why it was ok this time.

I was back in college and it was during finals week. Everyone had random schedules so certain people could go out some nights and not others. The boy I was crushing on at the time, Mutt (of the great trial debacle), had invited me over to his frat house - so obviously I jumped at that opportunity. I quickly hurried over for a night of flirting and fun - totally trying to forget that I had an 8 am final - yah I wasn't one of the ones that didn't have an exam in the morning! Whoops - not one of my "smarter" choices. But the heart makes you do crazy things! Basically it was me, Amy, CCK, and this girl Coo Coo (I call her that because she was legit crazy) and a bunch of our guy friends. We were in the basement of their frat house just hanging out - playing a lil Beirut - nothing crazy at all. There were maybe like 10 of us down there just chillaxing - always looking for an opportunity to use that word. We were supposed to be home early - I wasn't really drinking - obvi because of my exam. Let me reiterate - a LOW KEY NIGHT.

I'm just minding my own business trying to make Mutt fall in love with me, and I look over to find this random kid going through my bag. Now let me back up - I had just gotten a new Kate Spade for my birthday and this bag was like my child. It was my first real "designer" bag and I acted like I was carrying a Hermes bag - it was that important to me. I had put it on the couch with everyone else's bags - we were all there - we were all friends - really didn't think much of it. Plus we were all in the same room - so I could watch it. Actually I even put it under my coat - just in case something spilled! So you can imagine my surprise/confusion to find this kid - Bart - going through my things. So I run over and I'm all nice at first - I actually said, "I'm sorry that's my bag - you must be confused". He keeps rifling - and now my wallet is out. This was basically our exchange:

Me: Can I help you with something?
Bart: No words - keeps taking things out
Me: If you need money that badly please ask - don't go through my things!
Bart: Again - no words - now has my credit cards and my cash in his hands
Me: Give me my stuff - get outta there - that's mine - what are you crazy?!
Him: Throws the bag in my face and says "Whatever Bitch!"

Ok - so now I'm angry - you have just pushed me wayyyy too far. No more Mr. Nice Guy - you are in for it now! So he stood up from the couch and I wound up - punched him square across the face.

Bart's face was the wall

With that everyone comes running - Amy takes this opportunity to throw a beer in his face.

All my guy friends pounce on him and tackle him to the ground. All the while yelling at him for "disrespecting me". Coo Coo is going crazy - she loves a good fight and was chomping at the bit to get a hit in - no such luck - CCK's then boyfriend (now husband) grabbed her up and pried her away from the action - she was such drama. The guys after some time of roughing him up - then bring him over and make him apologize to me. They basically had him by the back of the shirt and were surrounding him. One of my more awkward movements in life.

After that -I was just standing there gathering up my things in shock and disbelief over what just happened. I just wanted to go home. Mutt offered to walk me home and on our way out he was like wait I just have to do one quick thing. Next thing I know we're in Bart's room (at the frat house - yes he was their "brother") and Mutt is just completely trashing the room. I asked what was going on and why he was doing this - to which he replied "he goes through your stuff and disrespects you - I go through his stuff and disrespect him". Ok - fair enough.

My final the next morning was not one of best performances - but under the circumstances - I did just fine. I think I was still in shock that all of that went down. I had never as much as laid a hand on anyone and all of a sudden I busted out this fabulous right hook - it was amazing. And my hand even hurt a lil bit the next day!

Where is Bart today you ask? Oh Bart is in jail doing 25 to life. He thought it would be a good idea to further his career and up the ante a bit. He began robbing banks. He should have learned his lesson that night - I'm sure he's getting a lot worse than some girl punching him in the face. Karma's a bitch!