Mismatched

While in AC I had a few blog post “requests”.  One of which was more Match emails!  So I’ve compiled a few more of my faves for your pleasure and thought it’d be fun to dissect them and discuss!

Email: 

Good afternoon....Please forgive me if I am being forward but I must say I am captivated by your beauty and moved by your words.

Reaction:

Seriously?!  First of all – “captivated by my beauty” – puuulease – corniest line ever!  And “moved by my words” – my profile talks about how I enjoy Pinot Noir and french fries – a far cry from a Pulitzer!

Email:

Are you realllllly leading with a Journey song?? Hmmmm ... not sure about that one ... At least I went with Super Mario Brothers ...

Reaction:

Gut reaction – I pretty much hate you.  My lil “catchphrase” is “Just a small town girl…” because it’s not only catchy – but it’s true.  I mean I know he was prob trying to be funny – but insulting me is not so much funny.  And Super Mario Brothers – like really?!  Are you a 10-year-old boy??  Hein!

Email:

holy moly...you're a hottie! Can a man get a conversation? I know what you're thinking and YES I do have pics! Im just wary ofposting them online for the world to see! So, if you like, I can send you pics....care to chat?

Reaction:

Oh really, you know what I’m thinking?!  Pretty sure I’m not really thinking about your pics – I’m more thinking about what a creepster you are and how I think you need your spellcheck.  And not just that – but seriously – you’re “wary” of posting – then why the heck are you on Match?!  And to answer your question – no sir, a man can not get a conversation.

Email:

Ok, time to hit eBay to find that shiny armor to go with my white horse.

Peace, piece & peas!

Reaction:

Ok – kinda funny white horse – haha.  But then again, not so much – a lil cheesy.  But the part about this email that really got me was the closing – what does that even mean?!  I have no idea what he was even getting at!

Email:

So you're going to look and not going to say anything?....lol Wow, was my profile that bad?....lol You must've found out about my five illegitimate children across the U.S. that I don't take care of.....:-) Regardless, I wanted to say hi!

Reaction:

Ok so backstory, I clicked on this profile for like AN second, by accident.  And this is the email I get.  I didn’t even mean to click on it! Seriously – you’re going to call me out on it?!  And p.s. – “joking” about illegitimate children with someone you’ve never met – doesn’t really bring the lol’s!

Oh and for all who were wondering – the guy I had the date with the other night – has not contacted me again!  Like wtf?!  So do I reach out to him first?!  Is that too forward?!  This is why I hate this stuff – I hate the mind games that I now have to play. I thought he was into me – he texted me before I even got home from our date!  But maybe he had more wine than I thought, was a lil drunk, and then woke up Thursday and realized he wasn’t into me.  I mean seriously – I hate that I’m even writing about this now – why am I such a girl?!  And why do girls do this?!   Please enlighten me and tell me how I should proceed!!

And a quick update – so literally right after I wrote this and got all worked up about that dude and went on my lil rant – pretty sure he texted me! 

"Hags Are Here!" (Yelled In A "Pauly D" Accent)

AC baby! The hags took over this past weekend and we had a blast! It was a successful birthday bash!! Of course it didn’t come without any fun lil stories/situations!

Sydney and I swung through the AC Airport Saturday morning to fetch Amy & Coco. We then proceeded to the hotel to get situated. As we’re walking through the hotel casino we began to see some sights! While waiting for Sydney at the elevator, some woman comes flying at me asking if I was “going up”, to which I replied, “no, just waiting for a friend”. Then she told me how she didn’t want to go in the elevator alone and kinda insinuating that I should go with her – umm what?! And so it begins! I just stared at her and then luckily Sydney came up and we were on our way. For lunch we decided that the Rainforest Café would be the best option. We began our lunch with our first drinks of the day – and in souvenir cups, too! There was also a person in a frog costume that was walking round to each table and obviously we had to get our pic with him! We had a great lunch (well kinda) followed by a VOLCANO – amazing!

They came out yelling “VOLCANO” and singing happy birthday to Sydney – she was embarrassed and hated us, but I feel like it was totally worth it! And I mean the Volcano was delish!

After lunch we headed back to the casino for a lil gambling. We situated ourselves at our very own Roulette table. It was so fun – we were having drinks and putting “it all on red”! After Sydney & Amy had lost enough money and Coco & I were up $20 a piece, we decided to head down to the bar to wait for the rest of the group. Shortly after we sat down, the rest of the hags rolled on in! Ruby, Cas, Charlotte, Hilary, & Kit – gangs all here! We had a few more drinks then headed up to get dressed for the night. I should also note that some of the people in this place were so whack-attack! Coco and I were walking past a restaurant in the hotel and saw this young boy with a “clown face” painted on him. He had a big red nose on and white make-up to look like a clown. Let me explain something to you – I freaking HATE clowns. They creep me out and I find no need in this WORLD for clowns – I absolutely hate them! So you can imagine that after a I’d already had a few drinks, seeing this “Clown Boy” really threw me through a loop!

We had dinner at Continental, which was pretty much amazing. Sooo much food, I couldn’t shovel it in fast enough! So delish – highly recommend it! We finished dinner and despite Sydney claiming she was ready for bed, I knew better, so off we went to Toga Lounge! Now first of all this is like a clerb located right within a casino – totally random. So we walk up, actually I was hobbling because my shoes were AWFUL (my friends called me Ariel because it looked like I was walking for the first time), and they tried to charge us a cover charge to get in. We all said no that wouldn’t work, so next thing we know – they waived the charge and in we all went!

It was seriously the weirdest place ever – totally bizarre. There were girls dancing on the bar – but like “professional girls” - that was their job. They weren’t strippers – but basically had nothing on and just danced – awkward. So we found a lil spot and the and of course our luck a large group of “grenades”, if you will, sat like right on top of us. I’m talking like a minefield! We finally were able to get another spot and got ourselves away from that unfortunate situation. Here are just a few things that occurred while we were in this location:

1. Some guy came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go out to the boardwalk with him and smoke pot. I replied “seriously?!?!” to which he said “yah, seriously” and then I said, “Oh, I mean if you’re serious – then……NO – get away!”. Like really?!!

2. This little foreign man would not leave Sydney alone. He was like a smitten kitten. It came to a halt when he tried to take her picture with him on his camera phone so that his co-workers would see that he talked to a girl. She yelled, “Oh, God no! I don’t do that!” And then he kinda just sulked away.

3. Ruby and I did a fantastic rendition of “Single Ladies”.  Coco & Amy thought it was just hilarious to pretend like they were taking pictures, when really they were filming the whole thing.  Def not something I need to have "surface"!

4. We all eventually got our “energy” back after dinner and busted a move to some awesome “tunes”.  It was a great "set"!

5. One of the “dancers” fell off her “box”/stage and then pretended that it was her heel of her boot that broke – but it totally didn’t she was just too focused on her “sexy dancing” to realize that she had overstepped her boundaries and down she went!

6. We saw a few very interesting characters – I mean only in AC would you see such sights!

7. A girl got kicked out because she was so bombed – and then proceed to fall as she was being escorted out – oh and she was wearing flats and there were no steps/it wasn’t dark - how she even managed to fall is beyond me!

Finally around 2:30 am we decided we needed a change of scenery, so Dusk nightclub seemed like the best idea. When we first got in the clerb the music was great, total old school rap and college throwbacks! Amazing! There were fog machines going, people dancing like lunatics and I swear the way some of those girls were grinding – someone left pregnant. I know that is the hag coming out in me – but we were all a lil shocked at the outfits and antics of these young ladies! I actually turned to Coco and one point and exclaimed, “where are their mothers?!”. Anyways – we to stay there for a lil while and Sydney was in her glory – so it was totally worth it!

By the time we got out of there it was about time for us to call it a night. It was after 4 am, my feet were basically bleeding – Ariel needed to go back “Under the Sea”. We basically just went to bed when we got home – a lil bit of recapping, but we were all exhausted from our shenanigans!

The next morning was a lil rough – I mean we can’t do it like we used to! Me, Sydney, Coco, & Amy had breakfast together. We were all al lil cranky and imagined that this would be our life as old women in our Florida old folks community! I then had to get on a Greyhound bus back to NYC, and thank God, Sydney, Coco & Amy stayed with me at the station. It was the seediest place EVER! Finally I got on and there were a slew of lunatics that were going to be with me for the next 2.5 hours. I was a lil nervous at first – there were a lot of random phone convos going on and carings on – but shortly after we started our trek, everyone went to sleep.  Amy & Coco had to sit in the AC airport all day because the only flight back was at 6pm! WORST! And poor Kit was so sick – she was such a trooper all night, but she actually was like legit sick and was just in miserable shape to have to drive all the way back to DC!!

So basically the hags infiltrated AC and conquered! I had a blast and I think Sydney left with a huge headache – which equals a good night. Obvi my memory might not have captured all our antics – so anyone that was there, please feel free to add on!

Ode to Sydney

My dear old friend Sydney has recently turned the big 3-0.  And I can say "dear old friend" because I'm already old and 30.  Therefore, I thought that there would be no better way to welcome her into her 3^rd decade, than to share a few fun moments we’ve/she has had.  To celebrate this milestone, 10 of us are headed down to Atlantic City for a night of festivities – so I’ll be sure to rehash all our shenanigans on Monday’s post!

A few “Sydney-isms” (words/phrases that she has coined):

-         The morning after a friend’s party:

Friend:  I think we’re going to be heading out soon

Sydney:  And so are all of we

-          I walked into her room to crawl into bed with her after a rough night and she barely lifted her head off the pillow and squeaked out:

“I don’t want to die like this.  I have so much more I want to accomplish.“

-       “Sweet Sweet” – this refers to our favorite hung over diner in DC – The Tasty Diner.

-       “Sad Spice” – or basically any other adjectives in front of “Spice”.

-       “You’re driving like a vagina at the town hall” – she likes to yell this at other drivers – in particular on Rt. 95 and the Beltway.

-         She always has the BEST one liners – like “what are we on a duck tour” (in response to the way one of my ex-bf’s walked) and “follow me to fun” and one of my all time favs “18 to party, 21 to DRINK”.  I mean the list really goes on and on!

-         She refers to her mother as a variety of nicknames, including, but not limited to, “Twisted Sister”, “B-Diddy”, “Narnia”, “Red Headed Slut”, and “Sister Sledge”.

A few short stories:

-         Sydney used to shade out and run away after we’d have a night out.  She would apparently want to go home, but instead of telling one of us – she’s just bolt out the door and start her jog home – totally normal.  So for her 21^st birthday, we decided that it made sense to buy her a leash.  It was a pink leash that we made her wear so she’d stay in our sight at all times.  From time to time we still have to break it out – although she has gotten a lil better about not running!

-         After one of our sorority formals, we had all had just a tad too much.  Sydney decided her night was done and took off.  All she remembers is being on all fours in the back lot of this restaurant (that was not at all close to her dorm) with a bag of Doritos (that she has no clue where she found them) and her knees were bleeding.  Needless to say she woke up the next morning with ripped stockings, blood crusted knees, and hugging her bag of Doritos. 

-         While we lived together in DC, Sydney and I came down with an AWFUL case of food poisoning – at the same time!  And we had ONE bathroom.  WORST!!!  So we had to take turns (mind you we both should have been in the hospital).  We wound up having to call each other from our rooms and make sure the other wasn’t in the bathroom before we made the “trek” there – that’s how sick we both were!  Not a fun time!

-         I’ll leave you with this last story – I could go on for days – but I just don’t have time – I need to pack!  We were in AC for our friend CCK’s bach party.  We decided that we’d both put in money to a “house account” and play a lil roulette to try to make us some money!  We lost most of it instantly, but still had a lil left.  I came down with a migraine (womp womp) and had to go back to the hotel early.  So you can imagine my excitement when I got woken up at 5:30 am to Sydney crawling into my bed yelling, “we’re rich, we’re freaking rich – I made us sooo much money you don’t even know”.  So I got so excited and we were discussing what we were gonna spend it on and how great it was and then we both went to sleep.  So we woke up at like 9 am and she was a disaster, so hung over, and if I remember correctly, had a sprained wrist.  I shot up out of bed and was immediately yelling about our winnings.  She got really excited and ran to her bag to get it out.  She then discovered that her “big win” was a whoping 3 cents!  Yes that’s right – she only had 3 cents in her bag!  3 pennies!  Our dreams of Porches and Louboutins went out the window – quicker than you’ll ever know!

Basically these stories/thoughts are just a drop in the bucket.  I’ve clocked a lot of hours with Sydney and we’ve shared a lot of good times and bad times, happy and sad.  And after all that time, she still manages to crack me up until I wet my pants.  I’m looking forward to a night in AC and a few more good stories/one liners from this weekend…and many more to come!  And for those of you that know & love Sydney and would like to share your own stories, feel free to comment!

Happy Dirty 30, Sydney!!  

Wine + Chocolate = Not A Bad First Date!

So I had my big date last night and I apologize for the delay in posting this, but I got in a lil later than I expected - so I had to write it up this morning! Let me break this all down for you from start to finish and then we can re-hash and dwell on every lil bit of the date! Because you know - that's what we do!

I wasn't meeting him until 7 pm, which was a lil annoying because I'm usually ready to leave work by 5:30 pm and I didn't have enough time/it didn't make sense for me to go all the way home and then come back down to the restaurant. So basically I had some time to kill. I figured I'd run over to Sephora and pick up something and then run to my gym, "freshen up" and head on down. Quick side note - I had to go to Sephora for a nude lip gloss that I have been after for quite some time. I didn't know what brand/exactly what I was looking for, but a girl helped me and I would up with this one….completely AMAZING!!! It's NARS lip gloss in "Striptease" - I'm obsessed!

Ok back to my story…So while I'm in Sephora and this girl is helping and we finally find the NARS lip gloss, she starts telling me about the NARS event that they were doing at the store that night. Next thing I know I'm sitting in a chair preparing to get my makeup done…oh, I'm sorry, what?! I have NO IDEAwhat I was thinking and why I thought this would be a good idea! It all happened so quickly I didn't even have time to think. And then I started to have a panic attack as I was waiting for my "make up artist" to come over. I just had flashbacks of the last time I got my make up done in this setting and I had the "smokey eye" from hell! Ruby & Sydney can attest to it! I looked like a $5 hooker. I kid you not, I had never looked like more of a prostitute in my life! So you can imagine my sheer panic when I see this woman came flying at me with fluorescent red lipstick and purple eye shadow - she was like a brunette Charo! She was from Miami and Cuban. Her English was a lil rocky, but I just kept stressing I needed a "natural" look. Basically I was the worst customer ever! I kept pulling back, wiping things off, not letting her do things. She kept assuring me I would look gorgeous and he'd instantly fall in love! When all was said and done - she actually did a good job! I was sweating and stressed - but it came out looking very natural and not overdone at all - and NO SMOKEY EYES!

Off I went to the restaurant with my new lip gloss and make up done! Perfect. I actually got there, got a seat at bar and promptly asked the bartender if I looked like a whore (in so many words). The great part was that the restaurant was very dark, so you really couldn't see anyway! So I was sitting there waiting and this guy sits down next to me. Second time I that night I began to panic - he was like totally not good looking at all, but I kept trying to see if maybe it was him. And then in my head I kept saying, maybe he's nice, Lizzie, don’t' judge! Sweating.  But alas, it wasn't him…my date walked in just a few minutes after!

So first impression - he was cute - he knew people at the restaurant (owners, etc) and was treated like the Mayor! He came right over apologized that I had to wait and we got escorted right to our table…which had a "reserved" sign on it - actually there were 2 "reserved" and he let me pick the one I wanted. So I thought that was good - he thought ahead, made a reservation (because it was really crowded). We immediately began talking about all sorts of things, conversation flowed and it was really easy. Not awkward at all! He's really nice, interesting, asked good questions, told funny stories, made jokes. I embarrassingly dropped my fork (only me) and it made such a commotion - like it must have hit about 20 things on the way down to the floor - and everyone looked - but he made a joke and I laughed - which for me - is a good sign! We split a bottle of wine and ordered some "sharing plates". The food was excellent and the wine was delish! We even got some chocolate at the end of dinner -soooo good! I actually looked at my watch as were finishing and it was 10:30 pm!  Soo much later than I anticpated this date going!  The check came and he paid immediately, I offered money - but he declined. Another plus in my book! Then he walked me to find a cab - actually like 5 blocks out of his way and made sure I got one - again very nice! He then texted me like right away and said he had a great time and how much fun he had. Which - since I'm so over the "games", etc - I thought was great. I thanked him again for dinner and walking me to a cab and he said we'd "talk soon".

All in all - it was great first date! I was a lil nervous to get "back in the saddle", so I'm glad it all went well! Who knows if he'll call again - but it sounds promising! I try not to place too much stock in first dates - my track record isn't good! But I'll keep you all posted and for now this story is: "to be continued…"

High School Heinousness Chapter 1: Benched

First off – I’d like to thank all of you that offered up your opinions for my date tomorrow night.  I’m gonna go with Option 1!  And of course – I’ll give you all a full recap after the fact!

Now for today’s post.  I’m sitting here watching Glee, which is by far one of my fave shows, and it’s jogging my memory a bit.  I’ve been thinking back to my high school days.  To say I didn’t care for high school is prob an understatement.  I hated it.  I just really didn’t enjoy it one bit.  Of course I had my moments of OMG this is awesome – but as a whole, I would never want to go back!  I mean I wasn’t a total loser or anything – I had friends, I was in “smart classes”, I played sports, was in the play (that was cool), student council, and in about everything club under the sun.  The main problem was I was in a class of “mean girls”.  They were just not nice!  I did def have friends and all – but it was a tough group!  High school just brought so much dramz.  So I was thinking back to a few of my most embarrassing/ridiculous times in high school and thought I’d begin to share them with you.  Of course, I can’t let them all out at once – so here’s the first installment!

I think it was my junior year.  I was a field hockey player back then and I was starting varsity – best thing ever.  I was at practice and we had a big game that week.  We had just started our season, so these first few were important to me to try to “keep my spot” on varsity.  So we had to go out for a long run, our coach was like a running lunatic – she didn’t run – but thought it was fun to pretend we were all on the track team.  On the “trail” that we had to go on, we passed the boys soccer team.  Trying to be the suave person you all know, I decided that it would be in my best interest to sprint and make it look like I was such a fast runner in front of them.  So my friend and I started out on this brilliant plan.  I was running so sexy and fast that I neglected to realize that there was a wooden bench right in front of me.  I was at top speed, like I’m talking full out sprint, and I ran right into the bench!  My leg cracked right into the end of the bench.  I flew in the air and landed on the ground.  So not embarrassing at all!  And all of this was going down in front of the boy’s soccer team – and I wondered why I didn’t have a boyfriend in high school?!  I rolled over and my friend was hovering over me in shock of what just went down.  My right shin was gushing blood and turning purple.  I couldn’t even put any weight on it.  I had to limp into the trainer and have her take a look.  She took one look at me and freaked out.  She yelled for me to get up on the table quickly as she was running over to get bags of ice.  I laid there and she told me to “hang on”.  She then proceeded to grind ice into my leg – as I laid there white knuckled – seriously worst pain ever!  I couldn’t even yell, cry, nothing could even come out – agonizing!  She said that if she didn’t do that, then I wouldn’t be able to walk for a week because I’d have a ginormous hematoma on my leg.  Awesome!  So she wrapped me up and off I limped.  Oh and I didn’t mention that I was not allowed to play field hockey for at least a week.

I then had to explain to my coach why I couldn’t play and my parents and the teachers and kids/friends that asked why I had the enormous ace bandage wrapping up my entire leg.   And I’m sure you can imagine that everyone took this information and was nothing but concerned and sympathetic about what happened (I mean besides my parents).  They had a field day – not even my teachers held back!  Again – not embarrassing at all.  Obvi I laughed it off and lol’d about it (while crying myself to sleep at not) – but really it was just one more reason why high school wasn’t the “best years of my life”.  

Dating Dress Code

Happy President’s Day!!  Hope you all had a great day and got to enjoy a 3-day weekend.  If you didn’t have off – sorry!!  And can I just mention for a second that this weather is absolutely insane!  I was eating outside on Friday night and it was snowing today – I can’t handle these extremes!!

Ok, so now for the real issue at hand.  I need some advice.  I have date on Wednesday night and the big question remains – what’s a girl to wear?!  We all know I’ve had issues in the past with wardrobe malfunctions on first dates – so I’d like to avoid that at all costs!  We are going to a chocolate/wine bar - so he's already scoring points - those are 2 of my fav things!  It has to be something I would wear to work, because I won’t have enough time to run home before I have to meet him.  So here are my thoughts.  Option 1 – a short black dress, zips up the back (so no buttons to deal with), black tights, and possibly my red pumps.  Option 2 – black wrap dress (and yes I'm aware of the dangers of a wrap dress), fun black tights and maybe black boots.  Obvi I think black is a good way to go – nice and slimming!  I just don’t know what way to go.  I need help!!  This is one down fall of not having a roommate – Sydney ALWAYS told me when I looked like an idiot and when I was date ready! 

So the decision is in your hands – HELP ME!!  And, as always, other thoughts/ideas are welcome!

I’m A Belieber

So this may be embarrassing for some, but not for this girl.  Tonight I fell in love.  It’s true – I fell in love with none other than Justin Bieber.  I know you’re thinking – he’s like 10, what is wrong with you?!  Well first of all – he’s 16 and second of all – ummm he’s pretty much amazing.

One of my good friends, Giuliana, emailed me the other day and asked me to come with her to see the new Justin Bieber movie, Never Say Never.  So I was a lil hesitant at first, then I figured, whatever, it’ll be entertaining.  I had no idea what I was in for! 

We got to the movie theatre and realized that we would have to see it in 3D. For some – wouldn’t be excited about spending the additional $4 (especially when a regular tix is already $13) to see it in…but again – not these girls – we got genuinely excited to be able to see the Biebs up close and personal.  We got in and picked our seats.  Luckily the theatre was basically empty so we picked an amazing spot.  Just our luck, the freaking “nerd herd” (as Giuliana coined them) had to sit directly in front of us.  Like really – in the whole freaking theatre – you had to sit in front of us?!  All I wanted to do was enjoy the Biebs in peace and quiet.  So we tried to ignore them.  The lights went down, 3D glasses went on, and thus began my love affair. 

The movie was amazing, minus the nerd herd’s commentation and arm swaying and singing throughout the movie.  I had to look past/make fun of it and just enjoy the moment.  So not only did I love Justin, I totally hearted his entourage.  I mean Scooter his manager – pretty much amazing, Giuliana and I now have major crushes.  Kenny – the security guard – hilar.  His grandparents – could not be any cuter.  Mama Jan – she’s tough, but fair.  Ryan Good his stylist – I mean he has a good eye for what works for teen heartthrobs.  And honestly – even his mom Patti – mad respect – she was a teen mom who followed her son’s dream. 

He was also a lot more talented than I really knew he was.  He can play the guitar, drums & piano.  He obvi has a great voice (at least pre-puberty).  And the boy can move!  He can def keep up with his “mentor” Usher – who also made a few appearances. 

Needless to say, Giuliana and I left in awe.  We are now totally in love with the Biebs.  I may even have to call out sick from work tomorrow – it appears that I have caught BIEBER FEVER!!

And...you're welcome!

Nashvegas

Before I get into this fun lil recap – I have to take a quick side-step.  I walked into spin class today and low and behold the lady from hell was back!  Only this time – her music choices have shifted.  It seems now she enjoys hard-core rap.  We only listened to the likes of T-Pain, Snoop Dog. Lil Kim, etc.  Unreal!  And she just swayed away up there!  I don’t even think she said a word other than “1^st position”, “3^rd position”, etc.  Redic!

Ok, so Nashville!  I was heading down to this fine lil town for a work conference.  Basically I was dreading it and not totally excited, but ever the optimist, I figured it’d be an opportunity to see a little bit of the city.  It has been on my “list” for quite sometime, so a free trip doesn’t hurt! 

I got to the airport for my crazy early flight (8 am) and finally got to my gate.  I was in throws of reading my “guilty pleasure” magazines (People, Us Weekly, etc. – I treat myself when I travel) and I glanced up.  There was this short lil woman standing in front of me with a full fur coat and an entourage behind her.  I stared figuring it was prob someone famous and low and behold – it was Joan Rivers!  Amazing!  She was very “put together” at that hour of the morning and was cracking jokes with the airline people (that’s prob the only time I’ve seen them smile and it was most likely just because she was famous).  I just kept looking at her smiling awkwardly hoping she’d take me under her wing and make me famous.  SURPRISE – that didn’t happen!  But we were on the same flight – so I guess that’s a step in the right direction.

I got to Nashville with enough time to explore the city a lil bit before the conference started.  So I ventured out on the streets!  We were staying in Downtown Nashville,  I figured there’d be enough for me to do within walking distance.  I started walking, looking all around, feeling so “cultural” that I’m out and about all by myself!  Then I began to pass all these prostitutes and homeless people and began to pick up the pace a lil more.  Finally I got to the “honky-tonk” area where all the action was.  I walked up and down that street and saw the Country Music Walk of Fame.  But that was it.  I had heard so many great things about Nashville, but I was kinda disappointed.  Granted, I’m sure there is SO much more to it than just the area that I was in, but for some reason I just envisioned it differently.  Anywho – I found this place that came highly recommended for lunch, Jack’s BBQ.  And it did NOT disappoint!  AMAZING!!  Prob the best BBQ I’ve ever had – by far!  Which I think it is worth noting that I did not know I was in a different time zone (and didn’t figure it out until much later that day) and I felt like an idiot because basically it all came together and made sense why I was getting weird looks at lunch – umm maybe because it was like 10:15 AM and I was all about my BBQ – sometimes I wonder how I function on a daily basis!

So the conference was good and your typical work conference.  A lot of “networking” and learning and talking and discussing.   But the best part was that I me these 2 other girls that were so fun.  We wound up becoming “besties” and went out the both nights we were there.  The first night we wandered up to where I had been that morning.  There is just a huge stretch of “honky-tonks” and bars.  There were so many to choose from.  So basically one of the girls spotted a cute bouncer and that is how we made our decision.  Obvi – the best way to decide EVER.  The place was awesome – it was called Tootsie's.  Soooo much fun.  All the bars down there play live music – which I love – and the bands/singers are actually really good.  I feel like some of them are all trying to be the “next big thing” and I wouldn’t be shocked if some of them made it. 

The next night was a bit more entertaining.  We went to an obligatory dinner and then out again.  The first place we went to was great.  We met this most random “couple” ever.  The guy looked like he was about 12 years old and almost like a bad Dana Carvey character on SNL.  He had a cast on one hand and was just all a mess.  The woman was about 45 years old and was seemingly having a good time!  They were all over each other in a disturbing/your making out with a  mom kind of way.  Then the kid took a liking to one of the girls I was with.  She discovered that he was “trucking” down through the south and he broke his hand so that woman was his new “trucking partner”.  What?!  So many things about that statement.  I mean that’s gonna make for an awkward ride in the morning!  So we left that bar because people were starting to get creepy and went back to our old stomping grounds – Tootsies.  And there we met a few more for the books.  When we first got there this woman came flying at us.  I’m not sure if she was albino or what really was going on.  All I can say is that she had white hair – like not blonde – like fluorescent white – and it was spiky and short.  Next she didn’t blink.  Her eyes were constantly open and wide and big and DID NOT blink.  I kid you not – it was the weirdest thing ever.  And I’m almost positive she was on something – she was flailing around the bar and dancing like a lunatic.  So bizarre.  And then, one of my favorites, was the old “cowboy” that just made you feel uncomfortable.  He approached me and I was trying to just look the other way.  Then he came over and started twirling my hair – yup that’s right – twirling my hair.  I tried to get away and his finger was actually tangled in my hair – so disgusting!  I literally wanted to die – I hate when people touch me – let alone old cowboys that twirl my hair!  WTF?! Why is this my life?!  After that – we pretty much decided to call it a night.  But we did have fun and the music was awesome!

So the next day was the last day.  We all said our good-byes and off we went.  It took me like a million years to get home because of all the bad weather.  But , seeing Joan Rivers, Jack's, Tootsie's, making new friends, and having my hair twirled – all while in Music City  -  totally worth it! 

Dr. Hottie

So for those of you that don't know, I was a pretty avid runner a few years back.  I did a marathon, half marathon and a few 10 milers along the way.  I loved running and it was a huge "release" for me.  So you can imagine my upset, when I began having extreme hip pain that would eventually lead to the end of my running career. 

I started having problems and went to one doctor after the next to try to figure out what the source of my pain was.  Finally, I was recommended to this spine specialist.  I walked in the office, same drill as every other office, signed in and finally went back to wait for him to come into the exam room.  I heard a knock on the door and I said, "come in", however I was not anticipating the beauty that was about to enter!  In walked Dr. Hottie.  I was stunned, could barely get out words.  First things first - check for a wedding ring!  Wahoo - he did not have one (or at least didn't wear one!).  Then he started asking questions and trying to figure out what was going on.  I tried very hard to be articulate and not sound like a complete idiot.  I was also trying very hard not to turn florescent purple and begin to sweat.  Not sweating was a big fail.  Ultimately, we decided that shots of cortisone (and a few other things) in my spine would be the best course of action.  I couldn't process anything he said - I was still staring.  I managed to get words out and replied "Sounds good to me - I can handle that" - what part of "cortisone shots" sounds good to anyone, btw?!?!  So I scheduled my appointment and off I went. 

Appointment day came and I made sure to look extra cute!  He walked in the room and greeted me with a HUG; oh I'm sorry what…I think we're about to get married!!  I could feel the sparks starting to fly!  Things were good - I mean a hug - no doctors greet patients that way!  OMG I was so marrying him!  So he asked me if I was ready and briefly explained the "procedure".  I was still just staring into space and imaging how good we'd look together sauntering about the streets of DC.  So he left the room so I could get "prepped".  The nurse came and brought me to another room with all these machines and crazy looking equipment in it.  Umm I was starting to get a lil nervous now - what had I gotten myself into?!  The nurse told me to lay face down on the table - and to unbutton my pants.  I thought to myself - this was going in my spine, but I guess they have their reasons.  Then in he walked and I just stared up at him as he hovered over me lying there with my face in a table.  He was so casual about it - I was being all "this will be a piece of cake" and then it happened.  The shots - oh they weren't going into my upper spine - they were going into my lower spine - and by that I mean my butt.  The cute doctor was not staring at my butt!  I was mortified and so uncomfortable by the whole thing!  How could we start a relationship when he's already seen my butt?!  I mean that's like the last thing I let a guy see - and usually by that point I'm drunk!  So while I lay there processing this all - the worst pain I have ever endured in my life was about to happen.  He put the first shot of anesthesia in and I thought that was it - then he said, "Ok hold on here it comes"!  I thought I might pass out.  I wanted to cry but tears couldn't even be formed.  I looked up and must have just looked pitiful.  He was like - are you ok - almost done - just one more side.  WHAT?!?!  I didn't know if I could do it - but before I could decide - needles were in!  WORST!  We said our good-byes - I tried to regain my composure and I left.

I had another follow up because things weren't changing and I did enjoy any chance to see him.  Basically he said we'd try it one more time.  So that's what we did.  I think this time was even worse because I was anticipating the pain that would ensue.  He jokingly said, “if this doesn't work you have full rights to punch me in the face.”  To which I replied, “you better hope it does because I have a good right hook.  A lil flirty banter never hurts!”  And we repeated the same thing - again - seeing my butt - again me being mortified! 

After that day I never saw Dr. Hottie again.  I had to follow that visit with 6 months of physical therapy and then I moved to NYC.  I still believe that we'll get married some day.  I mean we are pretty tight - he did see my butt after all!! 

Red All Over

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!  Hope you all felt the love today!  I’m sure you were all decked out in your little red outfits, so I thought it was a fitting time to bring something to your attention.  It’s called the “Red Pump Project”.  If you notice on the right side of this page, I have a “badge” that will take you to the site; but here is some information on what it’s all about.  Basically “The Red Pump Project™ raises awareness about the impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls. [The] mission is to promote HIV prevention through education, and open dialogue about the issues that surround sexual and reproductive health.”  March 10^th is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NWGHAAD).  In observance of the day, they are inviting you to “Rock the Red Pump”.  I will be sporting my new red pumps that I got for Christmas.  I’ve been coveting a pair for quite some time, but hadn’t found the “perfect pair”.  So, I was thrilled on Christmas morning when I unwrapped these bad boys:

I invite all of you to “Rock the Red Pump” on March 10^th.  I think red pumps are a perfect way to “spice” up any LBD.  And the best part is that you are helping to support NWGHAAD!!  

The Dreaded Jeans Shopping

Yesterday I embarked on one of my most dreaded expeditions in life – to find a new pair of jeans.  I HATE jeans shopping – maybe even more than – brace yourselves – bathing suit shopping!  I absolutely hate it.  I normally have to go through about 20-30 pairs of jeans just trying to find something that fits me.  And it’s not even that I’m being picky – like they literally don’t fit/look just good enough for me to be seen in public, let along actually feel good/attractive in them.  I normally walk into a store (either boutique or department store) and they look at me like I’m crazy when I say I’m “hard to fit”.  Then after about the 10^th pair I’ve thrown out the dressing room door, they understand!  I think my main problem is that I’m pretty tall and have the longest torso in the world. You can ask Sydney, who actually measured one night after a few glasses of wine.  She confirmed that it is the longest ever! 

So I woke up yesterday morning and “prepped” myself the whole way to the store.  First stop:  National Jean Company.  I used to live directly across from one when I was in DC and I absolutely love that store!  They have the cutest things and their jean selection is pretty good.  So I walked in and just said to the 2 girls working that I needed jeans and I wasn’t picky.  I told them I needed a pair of “dressier” jeans with more of a flare.  I also informed of my difficulties with jean shopping.  They were amazing – they just looked at my body for a few minutes and got to pulling!  Next thing I knew I was knee deep in jeans and trying on frantically, sweating - it was insanity!  I’d walk out – they’d say “yes” or  “no” and we went through the pile!  I just had my eye on the prize - I wasn’t leaving without a new pair of jeans!  So after much deliberation, I wound up with these:

I picked them because they are a little more high waisted, they are a great wash and so comfortable!  It’s a brand I’ve never worn before – DL1961 and I’m in love!  I got the "Jennifer" fit and the Eclipse wash.  I feel so good in them!  I debuted them last night and they were well received!! 

So 2 things I’ll recommend for your next jean shopping experience:  go to National Jean Company and try on a pair of DL1961s!  Happy shopping!

Downward Dog

I was dating this guy; we’ll just refer to him as Downward Dog (DD for short).   Things were going really well and I was really beginning to like him a lot.  He traveled a lot for work, so we didn’t get to see each other that often, but we talked a lot and really got to know each other.  Although he wasn’t really my “type”, we really did click and I was just trying to “go with it”.   So you imagine how nervous/excited I was when he invited me over for a “movie date” on a Friday night.  We had been dating for over a month then and I still got butterflies.  At this point, we had only kissed, so I figured we’d at least make out/spoon.  I should also note that he was leaving that Monday to go to Iraq for work.  Basically he needed to be fitted for “full body gear” and he was going into very dangerous territory.  He worked for the government and did a lot of this risky detail.

On my drive over, I happened to get stuck in the worst traffic of life.  It took me about 3 hours to get to his apartment (it should have taken 20 minutes – he lived next door to Ruby – so I knew the exact time it took!!).  So by the time I got there, I was a mess.  I was like a raw nerve.  I just wanted a beer and to relax.  So we ordered pizza and had a few drinks.  We watched a movie – I believe it was Superbad, obviously, I mean we were 2 mature adults!  And then came the awkward, movie over- should we make out – what’s gonna happen – I’m not drunk enough for this uncomortableness.  So we went into his room and started to make out.  It was going ok; I thought there were a few things that were strange/not what I was used to.  But what the hell – right?!  And then it happened – he contorted my body into such a state, I didn’t even know what the hell to do.  I wanted to cry/scream.  But the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “umm haven’t done my yoga today, so…”.  Ummm – what?!  Why do these things come out of my mouth?  Of course he took some offense to that – obvi he’s a guy and God forbid you give any “criticism”.  So the making out stopped abruptly and we went to sleep.  AWKWARD was an understatement.  I left the next morning and told him I’d call him later. 

I called him the next day to see if he wanted to do something.  He said he was busy packing and that he prob wouldn’t have time.  Basically I was getting the cold shoulder.   I was pretty upset because I feel like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but obvi I’m not the best when it comes to guys!  So I let it go and told him to call me when he got home. 

While he was gone, he sent me a bunch of emails with pictures and stories.  He was gone for about 3 weeks, so it was great that we were still talking throughout the whole time.  His last week there, he told me he couldn’t wait to see me and that he’d call as soon as he got home.  I was so relieved and excited that things were going to go back to normal.  So you can imagine my concern when I hadn’t heard from him days after he was supposed to get back.  I totally figured he was killed in Iraq and I’d never see him again.  I was panicked.  Literally Googling “DD and Iraq and US Government and Dead”.  

I was at Ruby’s house the following weekend for a sleepover/wine night.  We were pondering what could have happened, dwelling, as we do.  I called him again and left a message.  This was the second one and this time I was like “hi it’s me – just wanna know if you’re dead”.  Nothing.  So basically Ruby and I figured he was dead – I didn’t even know what to do with myself.

The next morning Ruby and I went to brunch up the street from her apartment.  We were walking and talking when all of a sudden I looked up and see someone walking towards me.  My words couldn’t come out – I was like “umm that’s not.  Is that?  It can’t be? Holy crap it is!”  Ruby wasn’t quite sure what was going on but just stared at me in wonderment.  He approached me and I stopped in front of him and said, “oh, hi DD – good too see you’re alive and well”.  He was like “oh yah I got back the other day and I’ve been so busy.  I’m just heading back from the gym”.  Oh, I’m sorry you’re so busy going to the GYM and all that he couldn’t even call me!  I was livid.  Ruby – not as quick on the uptake of my anger, blurts out, “we’re having a pool party – do you want to come?  I live right next door to you and you should come!  It’s so hot you should come take a swim.”  Pretty sure if he stepped foot into that pool area I was going to drown him!  So we awkwardly parted ways and I didn’t look back.

After that day I only heard from DD one more time.  It was obvious he was drunk and was just looking for a lil Lizzie – pretty sure he didn’t get any!  I’m sorry – fool me once into thinking you’re dead, shame on you; fool me twice…and you’re dead to me!

It’s In The Mail

So I’m new at my job. And while I won’t go into job related details, I thought you’d enjoy this story. There is this guy, Ross. Basically he is the only young, cute, “single” guy I work with. So you can imagine my delight when I talked to him for the first time at a summer work event. We chatted for a bit. Realized we knew mutual friends and we went to rival colleges. Let’s just say I was already smitten! I had my first “work crush”. I personally think that a “work crush” is a valuable asset to your workday. It allows you to have that “giddy” feeling after you see them in the hall.  It just makes it easier to to overcome that “pit in your stomach feeling” when you’re in the throws of some awful task. So there we have it – I was now the proud owner of a “work crush”!

So a few short days after our first encounter, I was doing filing in my office. Hair askew and not wearing a cute outfit at all. I hear a knock on door, spin around only to find Ross standing in my doorway! It was like out of a movie- he was all cute and casually leaning against my doorframe. So what do I do – turn purple and start sweating! Equally as “casual” and “breezy”. So there I was in throws of an embarrassment hot flash! I tried to compose myself and just be normal. We chitchatted for a few minutes and then he said, “I thought your office would be decked out in all your college gear, like flags and stuff” (knowing my love for my alma matar). To which I replied, still to this day not knowing why, a simple “IT’S IN THE MAIL”. Oh, I’m sorry what?! It’s in the mail!! What does that even mean?! After these fateful words were uttered from my mouth, I quietly looked away, hoping he didn’t hear me. He then said, “well good talking to ya” and off he went. What is wrong with me?! Why can’t I just be normal?!

Update – Ross apparently has a GF – and no it’s not me! I’ll keep you posted on if things change and obvi I’m sure I’ll have more awkward encounters - let's just call a spade a spade!

Big Red

Chaz and I had just started dating; it was all so new and exciting! He invited me out to meet some of his college friends at this bar downtown. Not being one to turn down an invite for a night of fun and with the new boy, I accepted! Since we had just started dating, I was still in that uncomfortable, I don’t want to be the only girl, stage. So I called Syrah and to see if she’d be there, too. Chaz and her bf were friends, so I figured she’d prob be going. Done and done – it would be a great night! So I got to the bar and Chaz was already there with his friends, but no one else was in sight. So I grabbed a drink and tried to relax, telling myself Syrah would be there shortly. Enter this lunatic girl (we’ll call her Big Red) that Chaz seemed to know, she came flying up to him yelling about how Syrah couldn’t get into the bar because she had left her ID at home. So my first reaction, I said, “where is she, we can go to a different bar”. To which Big Red looked at me with disdain and told me she just put Syrah in a cab and sent her home, she wasn’t going to not go out just because Syrah didn’t have her ID. EWWWWW is all I could think. I had just met this girl for like AN second and I already did not enjoy her! I texted Syrah and told her I’d leave and come hang out or meet her somewhere. She said no that I should just stay and have fun. So I wound up staying and Big Red eventually left, thank God, so I enjoyed the rest of my night!

Cut to the following Monday morning. I had just gotten into work only to find that there was a “surprise” orientation that I needed to administer. I was running around like an idiot trying to find a projector, which I found, BROKEN, obvi. I ran back to my desk to quickly check my email. I noticed an email from Syrah about some movie theatre that you could drink in and she wanted to go. I quickly sent her an email back and told about what a biznatch Big Red was on Saturday night and I totally had her back, but the girl she thought was her “friend”, totally ditched her! I couldn’t believe how Big Red behaved and I was just trying to look out for Syrah. Sent. I was gathering up the rest of the stuff I needed for this orientation and glanced at my screen. 4 new messages?! 3 of which were from Ruby – hmmmm that’s strange. I opened it up to find Ruby exclaiming “YOU HIT REPLY–ALL AND BIG RED WAS ON THE EMAIL!!!” Ahhhhhhhh – sheer panic rushed over me. I began to sweat profusely and quickly re-read the original email that Syrah had sent. Not only was Big Red on the email – but so were CHAZ and all of his friends!! So this guy that I just started dating and all his friends just got to read me reaming out one of their own friends, Big Red. FML!!! I tried quickly to “retract” the email I sent. Oh news flash – YOU CAN’T! The only thing that happens is that it re-sends your email about 10 more times. So now all these people have like 10 of my email rant– I hate my life! And I had to go deliver this orientation. So I left my desk and tried to stop sweating and calm down – trying to tell myself it was no biggie – we’d all just laugh – haha. The orientation was awful and I’m pretty sure the guy prob quit like 2 days later after the ridiculousness of that presentation.

Finally I was done and able to go back to my desk. I now had about 20 emails, including a few from Chaz. Fingers crossed he didn’t hate me!! Thank God he didn’t and just thought it was incredibly funny. But then I tried to figure out what to do about Big Red. I’m not a mean person and I just felt awful – it was eating away at me. So I emailed her that I was sorry and obvi thought it was only going to Syrah. I told her that I was upset with her “behavior” that night and that Syrah was my friend, so I was just looking out. She was “cool” about it and told me she “understood”. I knew she hated me and every time I saw her after she gave me the dirtiest looks. Not that I blamed her – I’d probably hate me too.

So I continued my day – and friends let me tell you – Karma is a bitch. I not only had all those things happen that morning, but I went to go put back the equipment after the orientation and I split my pants right up the back – yup up the middle – pants completely split. Awesome – best day ever!!

Moral of this post – watch your REPLY-ALLS. Most of the time they are not necessary and they will only get you in trouble! Take heed to this warning!!

Best Worst Break-Up Ever

So every year around Super Bowl Sunday, I’m reminded of my best worst break-up ever. It involves one of my stellar ex-boyfriends; we’ll call him, Todd. You’ll hear more about Todd in future posts – he’s really one for the books! Let’s just start at what would seemingly be the end and then we’ll discuss the “beginning” in a later post.

So Todd and I had been dating for over two years at this time, as I saw it, I was totally “in love” and he was “the one”. Oh how delusional I was, but I guess that is what your twenties are for! So at the time of this story, our relationship had taken quite a turn for the worse and I knew the end was most likely in site. It was the morning of Super Bowl Sunday and we were having one of our marathon fights. Oh and I should mention that at the time he was living in Florida and I was in Virginia, so we were long distance. I was actually going to visit him the next day in Florida – bags packed – ready to go! Basically after about an hour of fighting/discussing, he announced that he had to go because he, and I quote, had “a Super Bowl party to tend to”. To which I replied/yelled, “fine, I’m glad you’re little party is more important that our two year plus relationship!” And then I hung up. So basically I was in my apartment crying to myself still in my pj’s until about 4pm.

Two of my good guy friends came over to my apartment to find me in my state of self-pity and insisted that I come to a party with them. That was honestly the last thing that I wanted to do, I hadn’t eaten/showered/gotten dressed all day – I was a disaster. But they told me that I had no choice and I could either go like that or get dressed, but I’d be going! So I quickly changed and went to this party. I knew no one, except the 2 guys I was with. I took one sip of beer while I was in the kitchen, trying to make new friends, and BLANK! The next thing I remember is my friend standing over me, slapping my face, yelling “Lizzie! Lizzie!” I was lying on the floor – I had completely passed out. Ummm – just slightly embarrassing! I think I was just so stressed out, hadn’t eaten (I have a bit of a blood sugar issue) and that one sip – put me right over the edge! So my friends took me home, called my mom and stayed with me until I fell asleep. Totally nice. I felt awful and weak and embarrassed and just wanted the night to be over!

I had been asleep for a few hours when my phone rang. It was Todd and he seemed to be a little drunk. I picked up the phone and thus began the beginning of the end. I told him what had happened to me that night and his reply was, “Why didn’t you call me”, which I had tried to do, but his Super Bowl party was apparently in full swing! Then he continued with, I kid you not, “I can’t be with someone that doesn’t call me when they faint”. Oh, I’m sorry, what?! That doesn’t even make sense! Like I’m sorry I didn’t call you as I was heading towards the floor and express my love to you! So I kinda laughed, thinking he was kidding, and then I realized he was dead serious. After a few, “what are you talking about”s, he said, “I don’t love you anymore”. It was as if someone just punched me in the stomach. I lost my breath and I began to cry. That is probably one of the worst things you could say to someone that you love/loved. He went on to say that he hadn’t for a while and preceded to say some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me. After letting it sync in bit and being curled up in the fetal position, bawling my eyes out, I finally hiccupped out, “do you have anything else to say to me”. Silence. “Anything else”. Nothing. After a few minutes of me yelling into the phone, I realized that he had passed out. Yup, he passed out in the middle of our break-up. So there I was, it was the middle of the night, I couldn’t call anyone, knees to my chest rocking back and forth in my bed. I was a disaster. This was my first real break-up, first real broken heart and I couldn’t be consoled. I was up the remainder of the night just trying to make sense of it all. I just laid there staring intermittently at my ceiling and my bags that were fully packed awaiting our trip to Florida in just a few more hours. Finally I figured it made sense to just get up and go to work.

So I got up, put on God knows what kind of clothes, and went to work. I walked in the door and my boss/friend took one look at me and said, “Rough Super Bowl night”. I looked like hell. I looked at her and just burst into tears. She quickly ushered me into her office and tried to calm me down. I began to tell her what happened through many tears and gasping. At one point, she looked at me and said, “I’m sorry sweetie, it sounded like you said he fell asleep, but I couldn’t hear you.” I just pitifully shook my head “yes”. That just put her over the edge, not that she needed much reason – she totally hated him already - and she started yelling. “Screw him. I hate him. You are never speaking to him again. You don’t deserve that.” And the rant continued. She finally stopped mid-sentence and exclaimed, “Wait – aren’t you supposed to be heading to the airport this afternoon?!” I just nodded “yes”. She was like, “absolutely not. We are cancelling your flight!” So she helped me figure that all out and made sure that everyone left me alone for the rest of the day. I just sat at my desk and tried to look like I was doing at least some work, but all I could do was stare blankly at my computer.

Finally the workday was over and I was heading out to go home. My phone rang and it was Todd. I picked up to him yelling, “Where the hell are you, I’m at the airport and your flight got in an hour ago!” I was like, “umm I’m in Virginia, and I didn’t get on the plane”. He yelled/cursed some more and asked why I didn’t get on the plane. I then filled him in and told him that he broke-up with me the night before and that he broke my heart in a million pieces. And folks what happened next definitely surprised me a lil bit – he didn’t REMEMBER! He completely blacked out and didn’t remember any of our conversation. He had NO CLUE that we broke-up!

So there you have it – that is by far – my best worst break-up story ever! Again, Todd will make future appearances, so you’ll get to enjoy more of one of the biggest jackasses that I ever dated! And this past Super Bowl marks the 5th Year Anniversary of one of the best things (in retrospect) that has ever happened to me!

Super Bowl XLV (Because We Can’t Just Say “Super Bowl 45”)

I do enjoy watching football and all, but I’d like to take some time to recap the most important parts of the big game. Besides being able to eat fun food - the singing, the commercials & halftime are really the most essential aspects of the game!

The Singing:
Oh Christina! I always have your back, girl, but tonight – what the heck happened!? I liked the sound of her voice – but maybe a few more lyric rehearsals were in order! She forgot half the song! Sad spice! However – Lea Michelle – you continue to impress! Beautiful voice and you did America proud – and you know how I feel about the good ‘ol U S of A! It’s just too bad she didn’t sing the Anthem – maybe next year!

The Commercials:

Among My Favorites:
• Brisk – the Eminem cartoon – amazing. I also have a weird obsession with Eminem and it brings back fond memories of college and going to see 8 Mile with my girlfriends. After the movie we left with our hoods up and played rap music on our drive back to campus with the windows down. A total badass group we were!
• Bridgestone – reply-all commercial – because we’ve all been there. Remind me to share my best “reply-all” story with you!
• Volkswagen – Darth Vader kid – it just made me laugh – I loved how he was just marching around in that costume - classic!
• E-Trade – that talking baby – never fails!
• Best Buy – Ozzy & Bieber – HILAR! I totally hearted that for some unknown reason!
• Chrysler – Detroit - one word “Eminem” – please refer to my love for him in the first bullet.

Worst/Wish I Could Get Back A Few Minutes Of My Life:
• Doritos – with the 2 guys and one wanted the others Doritos and so he licked his fingers and took his pants off– it made me uncomfortable.
• GoDaddy.com – the one when Joan Rivers is revealed to be the next “girl” – I just thought it was really weird!
• Android - broken robot thing – I hated everything about that! The creepy guys in the corner of the room, the “wrapping up” of its robot arm – I just really didn’t care for that one!
• Ford – New York City commercial. Not sure this was nation-wide or just local – but it was with the song “Empire State” in the background and trying to sell Ford cars while flashing “New York” across the screen – newsflash – NO ONE in NYC owns a car – and those that are rich enough to own a car – probably aren’t driving Fords. Pretty sure that was a waste of some serious cash!
• Sketchers – Kim K – I didn’t hate this by any means – I just feel like there was so my hype around it and it really wasn’t that big of a deal. I was just very indifferent to the whole thing. Just not one of my favs.

Halftime:
I felt like I was on a rollercoaster – I loved and then hated, up and down through the whole thing. Loved their entrance! One of my fave songs – maybe it will be a “good night”! However, they didn’t sound the greatest – Fergie’s mic was not working properly at first and she just didn’t sound that good. They sounded like they were just shouting, instead of signing. The glow people – still not sure how I feel about them, but owning one of those suites might be in order! And then came Slash – up from the floor – pretty much amazing! But then Fergie started signing – epic fail. He sounded great – her not so much. And then the group just continued to sing/shout. I don’t know if they couldn’t hear the music or what was going on – but it was just a big mess. Enter Usher – loved his flying in and all – but he sounded bad too – he was like whispering. Although – his dancing – never fails – he’s just so smooth! So then they were trying to spread the “love”. It was ok – but again with the shouting. And then the glow suits – were red glowing suits – unreal. Hated the hearts they formed. And then the “lampheads” took the stage! What is next?! Oh just your average “wave” of glow people. All in all – I give it a 5 out of 10. I just really wasn’t feeling it and I thought their vocals needed a lot of work! Effects were ok – but really not enough to carry the performance!


So that was my 2 cents. I would love to hear your take on the big game!! And by that I mean not your take on the actual game – I don’t really care about that! Ok – off to watch the best part – the Glee episode after the game!!

The Trial

Since I wasn't able to post yesterday, I've graced you all with a doozey of a story today! I'm currently at a work conference in Nashville, which I'll recap later on, so my internet services have not be too great! But I'll be back in the Big Apple Sunday, so I'll post again soon! Have great weekends and enjoy!!

Ok so this story does require a little bit of a back story. It's gonna be a long one! So in college I was good friends/flirted with/we liked each other with this guy, we'll call him Mutt (it's the only name that makes sense besides, Jerk). Ok - so Mutt and I were really tight, I was also close with his sister who was 3 years younger than us, and his parents adored me. When we were seniors - she was a freshman.

One night I found myself at a house party with basically none of my girl friends, but Mutt was there, so we hung out. We were getting along great, as always, when his sister called him. It was pretty late (around 3 am) at this point, so she was most likely a little tipsy and coming home from a frat party. Mutt got on the phone with her and chatted for a few seconds then handed the phone over, she wanted to talk to me. I got on and we did our normal - omg'ing, I miss you, heart you, etc. She then told me that a boy she liked asked her to come to his dorm room (obvi to make out) - I immediately told her to go (but be careful)! I mean this was college after all - and she had the biggest crush on this kid! So we hung up the phone. Mutt and I continued our game of Beirut and then it was time to go home. So he insisted on walking me home, ever the "gentleman". On our walk home he finally asked me what all the commotion was about when I was talking to his sister. I told him, not thinking it was a big deal…that's when all hell broke loose! He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at me so seriously and said (with a few more expletives), "Don't ever talk to her again. You are a slut and whore, how dare you tell my sister to hook up with some guy." Oh, I'm sorry…WHAT?! I immediately took MAJOR offense to this, of course started crying and ran the rest of the way home. I got into my house, ran up my stairs, threw my bag down on my bed and was pacing about my room. No one in my house was even awake for me to spew my anger to! I turned on my "IM", because obvi that's what you do at 3 am in college. With that my phone was ringing off the hook. It was Mutt calling over and over again. Finally I answered and he said, "I'm sorry. I'm outside your house. Please come down, I need to see you and talk to you." Me being the idiot that I am said fine. So I grabbed my phone and headed down the stairs. ENTER trouble! I took one step down my flight of hardwood steps and FLEW down the rest. I face planted on our foyer floor. Like I basically did a belly flop off the top step onto the hard wood floor. Amazing. I immediately thought I lost all of my teeth. I was frantically patting at the floor expecting to find them all. My mouth was gushing blood. My phone was in pieces everywhere. I stood up, put my phone together, felt to make sure all my teeth were intact and walked out the door.

I got outside and proceeded to cover my mouth with my hand, like that was totally normal. Mutt started in on his apology and then realized that I wasn't moving my hand. He asked what was wrong, to which I replied, "nothing, I just want to back inside and go to bed". He accepted that for a few seconds, then noticed the blood dripping down my chin. He pulled my hand away, murmured, "holy crap"! At which point I felt like the cat was out of the bag and I needed to tell him what happened! He said that he needed to take me home to his house to clean me up and take care of me. I said fine, basically because he was the only one up at this hour and I really did need some assistance! So off we went to his house. He did as promised and cleaned me up and gave me some ice. He also kept apologizing profusely and needed to know if I was still upset. I began to cry and say that I couldn't believe that he could say such horrible things to me, that were not true (I was like a negative slut/whore), but above all else, I thought we were "friends". And then something happened that I never envisioned happening in my life - I was put on TRIAL.

Everything was fine and we were sitting on the couch talking - then he jumped up got a chair from the kitchen, made me sit in it and started pacing back and forth in front of me. And so it began. Mutt started out with questions like, "where were you on the night of…" and "did you or did you not tell (said sister) to hook up with some dude" and among my favorites "what is your relationship with Mutt (yes he was talking in the 3rd person)…do you or do you not regularly joke around with him". This went on for about a 1/2 hour. I sat there bewildered answering all these questions. It was among the most bizarre experiences of my life. Finally around 5:30 am I asked if we could go on "recess" so I could go to bed. He said yes, and we just went to his room to go to sleep, being that it was 5:30 and he didn't feel up for walking me home - we did just have a pretty intense trial after all. So he lent me a pair of short/t-shirt and we went to bed.

Cut to the next morning - I'll give you my roommates morning and then mine! My roommates wake up to the front door wide open. Blood spattered about the foyer. My bedroom light on, my bag on my bed, my bed completely made. Me NOWHERE to be found. They called and called my cell phone, straight to voicemail. Looked at their computers - I had "checked into" IM at 3 am - but then was idle. Basically they thought I was raped and murdered…obvi. They began to panic.

My morning - I roll over and look at the clock. Holy shiz it's 1pm (I never even sleep past 10 am)! How did this happen?! Look at my phone - battery is dead. I feel a throbbing on my face. My lip is about 10 times bigger than normal and I have blood crusted on my lips. I gather my stuff, put on my "going out shoes" from the night before. And prepare for the walk of shame. I was still in Mutt's shorts/t-shirt, I couldn't even focus on changing, I knew I had to get home to my roommates. Run down Mutt's stairs to find his roommates (also friends of mine) who took one look at me and one of them could only get out "looking good Lizzie". I told them to shut up and I kept on running! I ran all the way home praying no one I knew would see me!

I busted into my house to find my roommates and other friends all at my kitchen table. IThe poor things were so worried about me (side note - I heart my friends and we're all still good friends to this day!) . They jumped up hugged me and then looked at me. Stunned they said, "what the hell happened to you". And thus I began my epic tale of "the trial". To this day we still reference it and it took Mutt a VERY long time to admit that he actually did this. I mean I guess I can't blame him, it's freaking weird!